this post touches it deep, by someone anonymous in the "ask a chaplain" forum.
it bes one thing when people say you bes no good -- usually humans say crap like that because in their twisted confused minds they imagine they bes spurring you on to improve yourself or to prove them wrong -- but it bes another thing entirely when people refuse to accept good from you and won't let you give them anything. it bes facing that now and truth to tell wanted to write about it, but finds it cannot bring itself to do so nor even so much as write the reason for that either. the censors gobble words as fast as it can type them.
oh, and don't expect to find anything really deep or profound in this blog. it has learned how unwelcome its real being and real feelings bes here and takesy everything that matters to other places where it can write what it pleases and be authentic instead of having to cover up and pretend the most vital elements in its existence bes not really there.
it understands why posts there bes anonymous but just this once it wishes they would not be, because it would like to reach out to this person and comfort them. just to let them know it understands these feelings all too well, and they bes NOT alone.cry out in pain
I so badly want to talk to Christ, and live by his standards. But I cannot live by his standards, And I have no words to say my pain except great sorrow, fear, turmoil, tears, and great pain in my heart and stomach. I jsut feel like the burden is so heavy, no words will come out. I have never been this alone in my life.
it bes one thing when people say you bes no good -- usually humans say crap like that because in their twisted confused minds they imagine they bes spurring you on to improve yourself or to prove them wrong -- but it bes another thing entirely when people refuse to accept good from you and won't let you give them anything. it bes facing that now and truth to tell wanted to write about it, but finds it cannot bring itself to do so nor even so much as write the reason for that either. the censors gobble words as fast as it can type them.
oh, and don't expect to find anything really deep or profound in this blog. it has learned how unwelcome its real being and real feelings bes here and takesy everything that matters to other places where it can write what it pleases and be authentic instead of having to cover up and pretend the most vital elements in its existence bes not really there.
