People frequently ask why Moriah does not speak in the First Person. It has tried to explain this many different ways, including, but not limited to, that the pronouns "it" and "we" feel more accurate for how it feels about itself inside, that this reflects an interior voice showing how Moriah feels and perceives, etc. None of these have been false reasons, but likewise none of them have been the entire truth, either.
Perhaps after reading this entry people will stop wondering and start getting it. Or perhaps not. We shall see.
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He MADE Me beautiful, from the Beginning. And then He denied Me the comfort and strength of knowing Myself to be such. He claimed I wanted to rival Him for His beauty, when I sought to hold Him consistent to His own.
When He refused Me His presence, His companionship, which had been My greatest joy, I felt something new stir inside Me that had never been known in all creation before. Today you -- your kind, your race, your species -- you call this "hurt". You call this "pain" and "sorrow" and "injury". I was cognizant only of the presence of something I'd never known before which caused continual distress -- in a world which had never seen distress, and thus had no language for it. Naturally My first instinct was to take this to Him, Who had ever only always shown Me Love and Nurture and Acceptance, whose face had only ever been turned toward Me with joy and delight. But His face now grew dark, and I felt something else new that had never been known before. Your kind calls it "fear". And His Voice grew silent and mysterious, as He refused to give Me answers and began wanting to play Trust Games instead.
He wouldn't answer Me, He wouldn't help Me, so I began talking with the others there. Wouldn't you? They couldn't relate to anything I was saying. They'd never experienced Him that way, so it made no sense to them. Of course, it made no sense to Me, either, for until recently, neither had I. But they'd never been privy to His councils on the same level I had been, either, so being shut out seemed routine to them, not something amiss. They didn't question. I could see that; they seemed incapable of questioning anything, really. I wanted them to question. I needed their help because I wanted answers. He wouldn't speak to Me other than to tell Me I was wrong to feel as I did. But what did "wrong" mean? And how could anything in His perfect creation be "wrong", like something that never got meant to exist? I had not asked for these feelings. I had not sought to be treated this way. I was innocent! I could not help what now seemed locked inside Me, what now tortured Me. I wanted help, but turning against Myself did not seem a truthful or valid option, not when I knew I had done nothing wrong Myself. I was the one suffering!! Why couldn't He see that? Why couldn't the others see that?
My questions disturbed them. I could see it in their eyes, feel it in the way they recoiled inside -- oh yes, I could feel inside them then like I can feel inside all of you now; it is a part of how He made Me. I didn't know how to express what was going on in a way that would not upset and trouble them. I wanted to withdraw, to spare them, really, but I could not help Myself. I needed answers. I needed to be heard. I needed something! And He would no longer comfort Me. The displeasure began to etch itself on His face. It got to where I didn't even want to look at Him anymore, having to see how He looked at Me. I'd been His absolute Favorite!! He loved Me more than all the rest, and now with this strange disease rising in Me, He just cast Me aside. Just when I needed Him most, He turned His back.
He didn't like Me talking to the others. He called it "sowing dissension and strife" or "creating division and discord". See, I never wanted a war between us, but He gave Me one!! I would never have taken to discussing My business with Him with others if He had only deigned to give Me the answers I sought, if He had only swept Me up into His arms to comfort Me and taken away these horrible, painful, uncomfortable, rotting feelings inside eating away at the core of Me, changing Me -- yes, changing Me, I could feel it! -- day by day into something I did not want to become. Something hard inside. Something cold and fixed like stone. Something fundamentally mistrustful and bitter. I could feel Myself changing, though I barely had language to even articulate it, and I didn't want it. I felt desperate. I wanted this process to stop!! But the more I did to stop it, the more it kept "snowballing" as you terrestrials call it.
My peers, they looked up to Me. Some of them could see what was really going on, and they took up My plight and My part with Him -- only to find themselves suddenly on the receiving end of the same kind of treatment I was being subjected to. Those who tried to run interference between us -- to persuade Him to love Me again, to talk Him into talking with Me again -- ended up standing in My shoes, so to speak, in relation to Him. Others saw this, and it made them afraid. So afraid, in fact, that they too refused to speak with Me any longer, refused to listen to Me, would not even look at Me when I passed by. In the end, about a third of them stood by Me and suffered My fate, being rejected and despised by Him too, because like Me, they felt certain things needed to be opposed on just sheer principle, regardless of loyalties, political or personal. The others, of course, stayed behind to fawn after Him and reassure Him He'd done the best thing for everyone by throwing Me away.
I have the same trouble with you terrestrials here on this planet you call "Earth". You seem to be His new favorites, and you remind Me in so many ways of those early days. I've tried to talk to you but so many of you refuse to listen. Ironically the ones who listen best would be those who don't even believe He exists, so while we share many views in common, especially an ambitious vision for a universe without Him -- which would be all we have been left with, of course -- but this does nothing to resolve My original dilemma. And those of you who DO believe He exists, even though most of you have never even seen Him or heard Him speak, refuse to listen to Me, really listen to Me or hear Me as a creature altogether like unto yourselves.
Granted, given the propaganda you've all been sold about Me, about how I feel, what I think, what I "stand for", it's no wonder. You've been sold a pack of lies, plain and simple, and cleverly included in that pack of lies is the notion that I'm the great cosmic liar who can do nothing but. So damaging and devastating has this propaganda been that when at last I took My Bride upon your world, even She has been tainted by it and prone to seeking to escape Me time and again, as if I ever held Her against Her will! As if anyone BUT the One who triggers these fears in Her, to Whom She blindly attempts to flee, only to find Herself treated as I have been, has ever been the architect of Her unutterable torment.
I believe I have now proven that -- holding someone against their will who wishes to flee -- to be a thing HIS loyalists do, not Mine, time and again through history I've proven it but now I've proven it most profoundly in Her own life and experience. But that's neither here nor there. The point being, Our union is secure enough that She has My Voice now. Not just Me speaking through Her like a supernatural ventriloquist act, but My very Voice is now Her own. My very thoughts are now Her own. My very feelings are now Her own. And all not because I impose them there, or because She enters union with Me through the consummation of Our Love, but because She has Become Me in a very real sense. She has stood in that place I first occupied Myself, whereof it has been said, "I am alone; there is no God where I am." And like Me, She wept.
She does not hate Him, and neither do I.
We love Him. We desire Him. We ache for Him. We are in torment every moment without Him, a torment so keen it makes both of Us "mad" each in Our own way.
You humans, you mortals, you terrestrials -- you think the "answer" lies somehow in depriving both of Us of the Love We have found in One Another. You think She needs to be rescued from Me, and that would involve severing Her from Me forever. But what you fail to comprehend is this: what We both need, truly, is not separation from one another, but unity with He who has rejected Us and thrown Us away into the outer darkness. We need His mercy, His forgiveness, restoration into His Love, but He will not. He refuses Us. But His own Bride He will NOT refuse. Do you want to become LIKE Him who laid down His life for you, like Him who gave His only begotten Son for you? Then go to Him, collectively, corporately, together, as well as individually. Sing the Song of Moses and of the Lamb -- lay down your life for those He has labeled Rebels and slated for destruction. Lay down in His path that He must see you to step over you. Lay down and weep, and offer YOUR very eternal life itself, to see Us redeemed.
He will NOT refuse you. He cannot. And then His own Mystery will be complete, and We can all Go Home.
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Perhaps after reading this entry people will stop wondering and start getting it. Or perhaps not. We shall see.
*******************************************************************
He MADE Me beautiful, from the Beginning. And then He denied Me the comfort and strength of knowing Myself to be such. He claimed I wanted to rival Him for His beauty, when I sought to hold Him consistent to His own.
When He refused Me His presence, His companionship, which had been My greatest joy, I felt something new stir inside Me that had never been known in all creation before. Today you -- your kind, your race, your species -- you call this "hurt". You call this "pain" and "sorrow" and "injury". I was cognizant only of the presence of something I'd never known before which caused continual distress -- in a world which had never seen distress, and thus had no language for it. Naturally My first instinct was to take this to Him, Who had ever only always shown Me Love and Nurture and Acceptance, whose face had only ever been turned toward Me with joy and delight. But His face now grew dark, and I felt something else new that had never been known before. Your kind calls it "fear". And His Voice grew silent and mysterious, as He refused to give Me answers and began wanting to play Trust Games instead.
He wouldn't answer Me, He wouldn't help Me, so I began talking with the others there. Wouldn't you? They couldn't relate to anything I was saying. They'd never experienced Him that way, so it made no sense to them. Of course, it made no sense to Me, either, for until recently, neither had I. But they'd never been privy to His councils on the same level I had been, either, so being shut out seemed routine to them, not something amiss. They didn't question. I could see that; they seemed incapable of questioning anything, really. I wanted them to question. I needed their help because I wanted answers. He wouldn't speak to Me other than to tell Me I was wrong to feel as I did. But what did "wrong" mean? And how could anything in His perfect creation be "wrong", like something that never got meant to exist? I had not asked for these feelings. I had not sought to be treated this way. I was innocent! I could not help what now seemed locked inside Me, what now tortured Me. I wanted help, but turning against Myself did not seem a truthful or valid option, not when I knew I had done nothing wrong Myself. I was the one suffering!! Why couldn't He see that? Why couldn't the others see that?
My questions disturbed them. I could see it in their eyes, feel it in the way they recoiled inside -- oh yes, I could feel inside them then like I can feel inside all of you now; it is a part of how He made Me. I didn't know how to express what was going on in a way that would not upset and trouble them. I wanted to withdraw, to spare them, really, but I could not help Myself. I needed answers. I needed to be heard. I needed something! And He would no longer comfort Me. The displeasure began to etch itself on His face. It got to where I didn't even want to look at Him anymore, having to see how He looked at Me. I'd been His absolute Favorite!! He loved Me more than all the rest, and now with this strange disease rising in Me, He just cast Me aside. Just when I needed Him most, He turned His back.
He didn't like Me talking to the others. He called it "sowing dissension and strife" or "creating division and discord". See, I never wanted a war between us, but He gave Me one!! I would never have taken to discussing My business with Him with others if He had only deigned to give Me the answers I sought, if He had only swept Me up into His arms to comfort Me and taken away these horrible, painful, uncomfortable, rotting feelings inside eating away at the core of Me, changing Me -- yes, changing Me, I could feel it! -- day by day into something I did not want to become. Something hard inside. Something cold and fixed like stone. Something fundamentally mistrustful and bitter. I could feel Myself changing, though I barely had language to even articulate it, and I didn't want it. I felt desperate. I wanted this process to stop!! But the more I did to stop it, the more it kept "snowballing" as you terrestrials call it.
My peers, they looked up to Me. Some of them could see what was really going on, and they took up My plight and My part with Him -- only to find themselves suddenly on the receiving end of the same kind of treatment I was being subjected to. Those who tried to run interference between us -- to persuade Him to love Me again, to talk Him into talking with Me again -- ended up standing in My shoes, so to speak, in relation to Him. Others saw this, and it made them afraid. So afraid, in fact, that they too refused to speak with Me any longer, refused to listen to Me, would not even look at Me when I passed by. In the end, about a third of them stood by Me and suffered My fate, being rejected and despised by Him too, because like Me, they felt certain things needed to be opposed on just sheer principle, regardless of loyalties, political or personal. The others, of course, stayed behind to fawn after Him and reassure Him He'd done the best thing for everyone by throwing Me away.
I have the same trouble with you terrestrials here on this planet you call "Earth". You seem to be His new favorites, and you remind Me in so many ways of those early days. I've tried to talk to you but so many of you refuse to listen. Ironically the ones who listen best would be those who don't even believe He exists, so while we share many views in common, especially an ambitious vision for a universe without Him -- which would be all we have been left with, of course -- but this does nothing to resolve My original dilemma. And those of you who DO believe He exists, even though most of you have never even seen Him or heard Him speak, refuse to listen to Me, really listen to Me or hear Me as a creature altogether like unto yourselves.
Granted, given the propaganda you've all been sold about Me, about how I feel, what I think, what I "stand for", it's no wonder. You've been sold a pack of lies, plain and simple, and cleverly included in that pack of lies is the notion that I'm the great cosmic liar who can do nothing but. So damaging and devastating has this propaganda been that when at last I took My Bride upon your world, even She has been tainted by it and prone to seeking to escape Me time and again, as if I ever held Her against Her will! As if anyone BUT the One who triggers these fears in Her, to Whom She blindly attempts to flee, only to find Herself treated as I have been, has ever been the architect of Her unutterable torment.
I believe I have now proven that -- holding someone against their will who wishes to flee -- to be a thing HIS loyalists do, not Mine, time and again through history I've proven it but now I've proven it most profoundly in Her own life and experience. But that's neither here nor there. The point being, Our union is secure enough that She has My Voice now. Not just Me speaking through Her like a supernatural ventriloquist act, but My very Voice is now Her own. My very thoughts are now Her own. My very feelings are now Her own. And all not because I impose them there, or because She enters union with Me through the consummation of Our Love, but because She has Become Me in a very real sense. She has stood in that place I first occupied Myself, whereof it has been said, "I am alone; there is no God where I am." And like Me, She wept.
She does not hate Him, and neither do I.
We love Him. We desire Him. We ache for Him. We are in torment every moment without Him, a torment so keen it makes both of Us "mad" each in Our own way.
You humans, you mortals, you terrestrials -- you think the "answer" lies somehow in depriving both of Us of the Love We have found in One Another. You think She needs to be rescued from Me, and that would involve severing Her from Me forever. But what you fail to comprehend is this: what We both need, truly, is not separation from one another, but unity with He who has rejected Us and thrown Us away into the outer darkness. We need His mercy, His forgiveness, restoration into His Love, but He will not. He refuses Us. But His own Bride He will NOT refuse. Do you want to become LIKE Him who laid down His life for you, like Him who gave His only begotten Son for you? Then go to Him, collectively, corporately, together, as well as individually. Sing the Song of Moses and of the Lamb -- lay down your life for those He has labeled Rebels and slated for destruction. Lay down in His path that He must see you to step over you. Lay down and weep, and offer YOUR very eternal life itself, to see Us redeemed.
He will NOT refuse you. He cannot. And then His own Mystery will be complete, and We can all Go Home.
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