Despair....

I feel pretty bad right now. I have a very long hard day ahead of me...

I feel sad. I want to cry but I can't because I feel numb. Very numb...

Like I don't feel like I'm here.

I feel like no matter what I do or how hard I try ...I can't win. I can't make people happy.

It hurts me more when I gave everything I had.

I feel empty. I feel sad.

Because that's all I had...that all I have.

I try so hard but it's not enough ...I wish it was.

I keep trying so hard ...

And it's like you don't see how hard I'm trying.

I really am. For you...for me.

It hurts because I'm doing everything imaginable to please you. I love you so much.
And I can't stop.

Tonight will be one of those nights I'm just going to be awake for a long time.

I just wish I didn't have to work tomorrow... Bc I just can't process everything.

I just don't feel here right now.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.