To Be Deleted... Grief

Today it is 3 years. Today wasn't a bad day at all. Was only a bit sad and not for long periods. God has moved me so much further since September. I am now at peace with the fact that his death is forever. It hurt when I thought while typing about the fact I won't see him again. But it is...

I have spent the last 5 fireworks nights (Nov 5th) watching with tears in my eyes. Putting on a brave face. The first because he had cancer and things looked good, but still had a slight what if. The second because I knew he had 9% chance of survival from cancer but couldn't tell him or...

At bible study today I ended up crying and explaining what place I am in with regards to grief. On the way home I realised that this coming up a lot just now might be a way to come to terms with it. The marbly strangulation feeling in my throat wasn't there and when I cried at home it wasn't...

I can't get it out of my head this week that it will be 3 years in december. People around me don't know about how I feel. I wouldn't want to talk to anyone I know about it. I couldn't control the cancer, but I can control the grief. Meaning, I can choose to deal with it, or not, as much or...

I keep realising it will be 3 years in december since my partner died. I miss him and am worried about how I can accept that it will be 3 years. The first year was all about learning to keep on through immense heart ache. The second was a continuation of living and carrying it about with me...