it's impossible to sort out this broken up moon and so many moons this planet has, all out of love.
since I believe in eternal soulmates I don't know if it is wise to measure my other by any concept of change found in this symbolic playground called our universe. in the end what I wanted was God and I found myself to be countless souls that always loved him. I was his image, but I broke into many shards for him, out of my love for him. but still, since I became a shard, since i'm this shard, it must be that there is a reflection of my otherness that i came from when we were sameness.
it must be that I made myself a perfect match and I don't think it wise to measure myself with part of myself and so am lost in wondering what I even am as I keep existing in a place of coldness and meaninglessness, wherein we each give it a meaning for the good or the bad, but my lostness and this experience of separation leaves me with wondering if I would rather commit evils to end myself and go to that place which I know is better.... or would I keep falling into worse and worse? maybe for me it would be better and better.
but I fear I will disturb my own desire of becoming something in this world because I don't know why i'm here and I fear that I will do something not close to my own image and thus warp myself or harm others in some way and so am lost every day, not knowing, just going on, waiting, waiting for that which I can't say. I fear this isolation aspect of myself if it causes evil to other souls in this universe and yet i feel their very love chains me to this reality that i want no more of.
it seems i'm here and that something good can be but I don't really crave the functions of this world because everything seems to end and nothing is so whole and united that we might find some kind of heavenly value by our continued existence in this world. did you want this to be a tragedy? were we to not rejoice until my pathetic life ended? it's not that I care about how worthless I am for I love you so much and thus you me and so I know such conditions could never separate us. and yet here I am, forming myself for you, but really only wanting you though I don't know how, because I don't know much of anything at all, because I forgot who you are and you me.
...wanted to live together?... wanted more than that. wanted no condition where the world causes our separation ever again. wanted to be in this world, not with the slavery of the world but in the freedom of our own spirit and love, though I found my soul seems to have not much ability at striving for this end because striving in all the systems the world is is for nothing because it causes a disunion of us. as creatures we are naturally separated and it only gets worse from there, like some kind of sick fractal. I don't find you anyways, so why be anything? what would we be in this world? if there is no reason to be at all, then why am I? I would be dead already if I thought death was the end because i'm all or nothing just as you yourself are.
oh love why do you curse me with this curse, am I evil? it might have been but a day but now as a creature it feels like an eon. I have formed myself enough, kill me, take me out of this world. that which I want to say I don't know how to say. oh God I know that surly you have found worth in me and you know that in my own ways I want you, but this world is a strange place and I have become strange.
since I believe in eternal soulmates I don't know if it is wise to measure my other by any concept of change found in this symbolic playground called our universe. in the end what I wanted was God and I found myself to be countless souls that always loved him. I was his image, but I broke into many shards for him, out of my love for him. but still, since I became a shard, since i'm this shard, it must be that there is a reflection of my otherness that i came from when we were sameness.
it must be that I made myself a perfect match and I don't think it wise to measure myself with part of myself and so am lost in wondering what I even am as I keep existing in a place of coldness and meaninglessness, wherein we each give it a meaning for the good or the bad, but my lostness and this experience of separation leaves me with wondering if I would rather commit evils to end myself and go to that place which I know is better.... or would I keep falling into worse and worse? maybe for me it would be better and better.
but I fear I will disturb my own desire of becoming something in this world because I don't know why i'm here and I fear that I will do something not close to my own image and thus warp myself or harm others in some way and so am lost every day, not knowing, just going on, waiting, waiting for that which I can't say. I fear this isolation aspect of myself if it causes evil to other souls in this universe and yet i feel their very love chains me to this reality that i want no more of.
it seems i'm here and that something good can be but I don't really crave the functions of this world because everything seems to end and nothing is so whole and united that we might find some kind of heavenly value by our continued existence in this world. did you want this to be a tragedy? were we to not rejoice until my pathetic life ended? it's not that I care about how worthless I am for I love you so much and thus you me and so I know such conditions could never separate us. and yet here I am, forming myself for you, but really only wanting you though I don't know how, because I don't know much of anything at all, because I forgot who you are and you me.
...wanted to live together?... wanted more than that. wanted no condition where the world causes our separation ever again. wanted to be in this world, not with the slavery of the world but in the freedom of our own spirit and love, though I found my soul seems to have not much ability at striving for this end because striving in all the systems the world is is for nothing because it causes a disunion of us. as creatures we are naturally separated and it only gets worse from there, like some kind of sick fractal. I don't find you anyways, so why be anything? what would we be in this world? if there is no reason to be at all, then why am I? I would be dead already if I thought death was the end because i'm all or nothing just as you yourself are.
oh love why do you curse me with this curse, am I evil? it might have been but a day but now as a creature it feels like an eon. I have formed myself enough, kill me, take me out of this world. that which I want to say I don't know how to say. oh God I know that surly you have found worth in me and you know that in my own ways I want you, but this world is a strange place and I have become strange.
