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Dear Jesus

There's nothing lonlier than being a Christian ... just don't know why I'm so awful ... ... it seems the only thing worse than being me is dealing with me .. how can I not even deserve a hello I ask you why and what did I do and you remind me you said hearts would be revealed through me and not to let it get to me ... that they don't know what they do ... I guess I don't understand? shouldn't they know as Christians? ... I guess I don't understand why I'm less than human or supposed to be super human that these things shouldn't hurt ... I'm not a bad person ... I know you say if they did this to you why wouldn't they do it to me ... I guess my thought on that is well, I'm not you and I'm not that strong ... I ask You, Jesus what should I do ... I just don't want to feel like this anymore ... I used to at least like myself before I came here ... then if I can't do anything else right I don't want to let you down ... it just hurts so much ... I need your help with this, Jesus ... feeling completely fragile and disposable ...

I truly am nothing without you, Jesus ...

I love you, Jesus