Continuing on with responding to these scriptures...
If you look at the entirety of 2 Peter chapter 3 you will see that Peter is actually speaking to a specific group of people. The "not wishing for any to perish" that you have highlighted is specific to the people who Peter is writing to. In order to prove my point to you I would highlight within the very same verse the phrase "but is patient toward you." It is a mistake to pull this one verse out of the chapter and try to proclaim that the "any" in the passage if refering to every single person who has lived or will live. Again read all of chapter 3 and you will see that the entire chapter is speaking directly to the Christians Peter was writing to and hence they are the ones whom the Lord does not want to perish.
So it is a mistake to use this verse to refute calvinism - on the contrary it does just the opposite when read in the context of the entire chapter - particularly in the case of perseverence of the saints (eternal security). If you read down to verse 15 you will see that the "Lord's patience means salvation"! Basically the people Peter is writing to will attain it.
