I've been married for 8 months and, ever since, my sleep schedule has been really deficient. Before getting married I had no problems sleeping whatsoever. I would get 8 hours each night and it was almost always without tossing and turning. Now I am lucky if I get 5 or 6, and it's usually interrupted every 2 hours. I don't know if it's because I'm used to sleeping in absolute quiet with nobody next to me, but I'm really having trouble. I also don't want to offend my wife (like I already have) by spending some nights in the other room. I am only asking these things because I fear that it might affect my work performance and make me look tired all the time. I also can't seem to get any naps in during the day because something always interrupts me--either the dog barking/playing, or my wife telling me I need to do something. I really feel frustrated. Any advice?
Sleep Deficiency In Marriage
- Thread starter robalan
- Start date
Oh boy- my first thought was just wait til you have a baby!! 
Actually, it took some time for me to get used to sleeping with somebody too. I learned to roll over and give him a hug whenever I woke up, and that seemed to help me go back to sleep- now I sleep like a rock.
Actually, it took some time for me to get used to sleeping with somebody too. I learned to roll over and give him a hug whenever I woke up, and that seemed to help me go back to sleep- now I sleep like a rock.
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You'll get used to it, and I think if you sleep in another room occasionally, it might take a little longer for you to adjust. I go through the same thing every 6 months, when my husband switches from the night shift to the day shift and he's sleeping at the same time I am again.
Consider other causes, though - are you consuming caffeine or sugar within a couple hours of bedtime? Is there too much light in your room? Are you too hot or too cold?
Consider other causes, though - are you consuming caffeine or sugar within a couple hours of bedtime? Is there too much light in your room? Are you too hot or too cold?
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Catholic Wife
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I also initially had problems sleeping after getting married - still do once in a while. I use earplugs when my husband's "heavy breathing" wakes me up. They block out the noise so I can go back to sleep. And we are considering a king-size bed so we can each have more room and not bump into each other unless we want to.
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JeffinBama
Member
You ain't kidding...2 hours in a stretch will seem like a week!!!!!!!!Oh boy- my first thought was just wait til you have a baby!!
Actually, it took some time for me to get used to sleeping with somebody too. I learned to roll over and give him a hug whenever I woke up, and that seemed to help me go back to sleep- now I sleep like a rock.
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E
Evangelina
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Hmmm... your wife wakes you up to give you chores? 
Timing, girl, timing!
Umm... personally, I'd try to sit down and say, "hey, this is a real problem for me - do you have any ideas on how we can fix it?"
I think that sleeping a couple of nights in a different room might actually be exactly what you need for now... as long as you sleep together the other nights, I don't see any reason for her to get 'offended'. I mean, it's nice to snuggle, and all, but you need your sleep, too!
I suspect that you snore, and you waking up suddenly is from her kicking you to shut you up...
Timing, girl, timing!Umm... personally, I'd try to sit down and say, "hey, this is a real problem for me - do you have any ideas on how we can fix it?"
I think that sleeping a couple of nights in a different room might actually be exactly what you need for now... as long as you sleep together the other nights, I don't see any reason for her to get 'offended'. I mean, it's nice to snuggle, and all, but you need your sleep, too!
I suspect that you snore, and you waking up suddenly is from her kicking you to shut you up...
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Sleep differences and disorders can be a problem.
First off, you REALLY do need to talk to her about this. Just the fact that you posted here shows that it is a problem for you! Problems need to be talked over.
Try ear plugs: They're cheap and often effective. There are several books and websites devoted to sleep issues. A bit of reading may well be in order.
First off, you REALLY do need to talk to her about this. Just the fact that you posted here shows that it is a problem for you! Problems need to be talked over.
Try ear plugs: They're cheap and often effective. There are several books and websites devoted to sleep issues. A bit of reading may well be in order.
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Easyk
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you could be suffering from a sleeping disorder or just not used to it.
In my situation its odd cause right before i nod off wife goes "hey you know......" and i am like do a sleepy "huh?" we now talk when i get home from work for a 30min to an hour and then get going with what we need to do..and dont talk when trying to go to sleep..i activily discourage this. oh and no coffee or milo/ hot chocolate 2 hours before bed have water.
At one stage my wife wanted to get a king size bed and i told her "Why? if we do that might as well get single beds" i find a super queen big enough but to each his own i guess.
Also i am never able to fall asleep holding my wife, i always and still do fall asleep on my stomach and then somehow thru the night end up holding her while we sleep (she tells me i do...). why dont you do the same thing you have been doing your whole life to nodd off... and talk about this problem with your wife... please.. rember it takes 2 hours to fall into a deep sleep, does she get up every few hours to go to the toilet? if so she needs to be checked out as that is not normal. that may be what wakes you she moves or gets up and you break out of rem sleep.
In my situation its odd cause right before i nod off wife goes "hey you know......" and i am like do a sleepy "huh?" we now talk when i get home from work for a 30min to an hour and then get going with what we need to do..and dont talk when trying to go to sleep..i activily discourage this. oh and no coffee or milo/ hot chocolate 2 hours before bed have water.
At one stage my wife wanted to get a king size bed and i told her "Why? if we do that might as well get single beds" i find a super queen big enough but to each his own i guess.
Also i am never able to fall asleep holding my wife, i always and still do fall asleep on my stomach and then somehow thru the night end up holding her while we sleep (she tells me i do...). why dont you do the same thing you have been doing your whole life to nodd off... and talk about this problem with your wife... please..
rember it takes 2 hours to fall into a deep sleep, does she get up every few hours to go to the toilet? if so she needs to be checked out as that is not normal. that may be what wakes you she moves or gets up and you break out of rem sleep.
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