Show love or ensure not "equally yolked"?

[Princess Of Yahweh]

I recently been in a realationship with an non-christian but we are now on a break as I have been starting to feel confused and think that things may well not work out despite and fact his is basically my best friend and I care about him more than anyone (except close family). I'm not sure if being with a non-christian is right but he isn't emotionally stable and he really needs my support. Even with this "break" he's struggling and getting very low. He can't bear the thought of being without me and gets really depressed as he thinks I'm the only person who cares about him. Get accepts my faith, though does share it, so I have concerns about the relationship being unequally yolked but Jesus put love and concern for others first... I'm so confused... I can't bear hurting him...

 

[Johnnz]

Bless you for caring for him. But maybe he has become over dependant on that care. Marriage is about relationship, sharing of lives, support for the other, what each brings into the marriage. To marry him because he needs you result in your having a role that you may come to resent later.

John
NZ

 

[citizenthom]

You are seeing now exactly why the Bible commands believers not to be unequally yoked. Christians put their faith and trust in God, and all their worries on God's shoulders (or are suppose to anyway). That allows married Christians to focus on serving each other, not on using each other as emotional dumps or crutches.

Your non-Christian ex, on the other hand, lack the hope and relief of God's presence in his life. Therefore he is using you as his "god." But you are not God, and you cannot be expected to absorb and absolve his hurt the way God can.

Imagine what would happen if you married this person and he slipped back into this behavior. He would not be able to fulfill his role as a husband to you, while you would be expected to be a wife, mother, and god to him--a fix-all who gets nothing in return.

Use this as an opportunity to open your eyes to the root of the Scriptural truth about unequal yoking. Cut romantic ties entirely. Be his friend, show him agape. But there is no point in a romantic relationship with someone the Bible expressly tells you not to marry--especially when the red flags of doing so are so very real and very present.

 

[Sadiegrl]

I understand how you feel and while i dont know the details of your relationship and its healthy/functionality...but Jesus meets us where we are at and while i'm not condoning promiscuity, i do believe in love.
Sometimes we find ourselves loving something not exactly holy or pure...i believe it has something to do with living in a sinful world and being a sinner that brings us to people and places that fill a need within us.
Sometimes the only way that other person would see a clear face of Jesus, who went down in the darkest places for his love of sinners, is to show them healthy, holy boundaries and respects of love that that person may never encounter again. Life is short. And the people in our lives are there for a reason, how we interract with each other and if we really do show the attributes of God, Jesus within us, we can forever connect to another person.
Not just cast them aside for a list of rules. Love everyone but whats most important is your love relationship with God. Seek Him wholy and He will reveal your heart's desires that he actually placed there.
God says He is good and knows us better than we know ourselves. So give Him your fears and feelings with your bf and God WILL take care of it. He loves your bf more than you could ever compare to or comprehend and He loves you that way too...all of us actually.
Read your Bible daily and pray as often as you can think to, and live each day as a gift and a learning experience and cause for gratitude. As you transform it will be noticeable by those around you and there will be the "proof" that they need to believe.

Anyways i've rambled on but God bless hun. :hugs:

 

[paul1149]

Some excellent advice so far. Remember, you may feel you are hurting him by withdrawing, but there's a difference between hurt and harm. Hurt, though not fun, is temporary, and indeed it can be beneficial. Harm is lasting, and it doesn't even have to hurt at first.

The Bible says, test all things; hold fast to what is fine (1Th 5). Love has to go together with truth, otherwise it isn't really love, it's a human counterfeit that will not stand the test of time. Relationships must be put to the test to see what foundation they rest on. As has been suggested here, marriage is a long time, and you do not want to enter it on an unsound footing. Confronting his dependencies might be the very thing that awakens your friend to his need of Christ. If you do things the right way, God will put it together the right way, if it's meant to be. But the worst thing would be to take a major step outside of His will.

 

[fm107]

Hi sister,

God does tell us not to be unequally yoked with non-believers as you know.

2 Corinthians 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

You present the people of this forum with a choice - show love or ensure not "unequally yoked."

Wouldn't you rather show love to God by obeying him when he says not to be unequally yoked?

John 14:15
If ye love me, keep my commandments.

You can still show love to this guy by being there for him as a friend. However I must point out that if you think there is a danger of you "falling for him" then it's best to cut ties with him. But if there is no danger there then be there for him as a friend and take him to church etc if he is willing. Who knows, perhaps he will get saved?

And as others point out, happiness in this world for non believers is only temporary as the scriptures make abundantly clear. You will not make this guy happy for the rest of his life (that is a myth in my opinion). Without belief and trust in the one and only God, persons will only find that they are never truly happy. If the two of you were to stay together and get married etc, the time will come whereby you no longer make him happy.

Keep praying and know that your brothers and sisters are here for you too.

May God bless you and help you daily and may you depend on him in everything.


Your brother in Christ.

 

[Sketcher]

Dating a non-Christian is against Scripture, and dating someone who is emotionally unstable is just a very bad idea.

 

[St_Worm2]

Jesus put love and concern for others first... I'm so confused...

Hi XShmalX, love and concern for others is certainly high on the priority list of our Lord, but He never intended it to be "first". First things are always loving Him and growing in your walk with Him (part of which includes obeying His commandments .. see 2 John 1:6a). If you are not walking according to His will where you're concerned, how can you possibly know that you're walking according to His will where "others" are concerned? You'll become, well, confused ..

Put Christ first ..

Yours and His,
David