I have kissed dating goodbye!

[KandiJo]

1. Kissing can be a huge temptation. It's intimate, physical, and puts you within a good range to get on to more.

2. Like I said, it develops you more to build a bond that isn't based on physical. The physical won't always be there. You'll be sick, stuff happens, kids happen, and what happens to relationships built on physical that suddenly don't have the physical aspect? They crumble.

3. It has more meaning. A kiss to someone who waits until marriage has way more meaning to them then people who kiss a lot.

4. I honestly think it is more respectful. I know that sounds completely weird, but you are preserving them until marriage and that is a huge sign of respect to me.



Anyways, honestly, I don't believe in dating anymore. Casual dating and such at the very least. My next relationship I want to last for the rest of my life, based on a great bond and respect and love for each other.

I am not trying to make you guys into people who will wait to kiss. I know it doesn't suit everyone, it is just something I personally believe in.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

God doesn't run this world. Satan is the God of this world.
So don't think that this world is a sitcom for your benefit.

uh what?? I think your getting scripture confused. Although the devil influences the world with evil and sin, GOD is in control of EVERYTHING that happens. satan can do nothing without God allowing it.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

1. Kissing can be a huge temptation. It's intimate, physical, and puts you within a good range to get on to more.

2. Like I said, it develops you more to build a bond that isn't based on physical. The physical won't always be there. You'll be sick, stuff happens, kids happen, and what happens to relationships built on physical that suddenly don't have the physical aspect? They crumble.

3. It has more meaning. A kiss to someone who waits until marriage has way more meaning to them then people who kiss a lot.

4. I honestly think it is more respectful. I know that sounds completely weird, but you are preserving them until marriage and that is a huge sign of respect to me.



Anyways, honestly, I don't believe in dating anymore. Casual dating and such at the very least. My next relationship I want to last for the rest of my life, based on a great bond and respect and love for each other.

I am not trying to make you guys into people who will wait to kiss. I know it doesn't suit everyone, it is just something I personally believe in.

I agree completely! It makes it more special too.

 

[fromtheAsh]

So don't think that this world is a sitcom for your benefit.

My life is actually quite humorous at times and sometimes I think my family would make a great sitcom.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

You know what God has a place for everyone in his world and I have been single for all these years for reason.

amen God's got yah covered. Not to be flirty but if I was asked out by a Christian guy like you I would say yes in a heart beat LOL. God's preparing a very precious wife for you. I'm positive God is also using you right now to be a godly influence to people around you, even if you don't see it.

 

[SnowyMacie]

I'm too, for lack of a better term, "touchy-feely" to wait to kiss until my wedding day. Touch is a big love language of mine, and I really can't imagine being in a relationship that didn't involve kissing. It doesn't have to be a 24/7 make-out session, but it would be very hard for me to be with someone who wanted to wait as I would feel like I couldn't show my love to them as well. I know relationships are about ourselves, but it would be like saying you can only talk about certain things.

 

[Toro]

I honestly mean no offence when I say this, and I'm not aiming it at anyone, but when people say they want to wait until they're married to even kiss... I've got to be honest, in my opinion that's really weird.

I agree, but only at my own personal stand point. I feel if someone is strong enough to make such a choice, weird or not it is admirable. I myself couldn't do it. Unless I met a great woman that had such rules in place, although it would be difficult for me.

It's only weird when you use the culture perspective we live in right now. The thing is, there are many benefits for not kissing.

A lot of people use the arguement that you have to see if you have chemistry before marriage. You can know that without kissing. You build a bond that is not dependent on physical attraction, and that becomes stronger than physical attraction.

Well, there is also a scientific stand point of kissing. I was watching a documentary on kissing and "why we do it". In this documentary its posed a stance that said we are drawn to kissing because of germs and the body building up a tolerance/acceptance to that persons germs for mating purposes. (So that the body no longer sees these "invaders" as the enemy and eliminating them.)

How much of that is fact, it did make a compelling argument for the importance of kissing. If true, two people that dated that step into marriage while kissing the whole time, would be in much better standing for mating than the two people that abstained from it. I don't remember the name of the documentary off hand, but will have to search for it and post if I find it.

 

[SarahsKnight]

But wait because you want to, not because it's what is expected of you. That goes to both men and women. Abide by your conscience, not the will of a destructive "purity" culture.

That, too. Totally agree. And I assume that is what Incognito meant, that he does this because he wants to according to his own personal conscience.

 

[CCHIPSS]

myself and the two other people who think it's not such a bad idea to save the first kiss for the alter, we are speaking from experiences of not waiting (as in having sex before marriage), and what kinds of safeguards can be put in place to help us wait next time.

I support 100% the idea that it is the right thing to do to save sex till marriage. I say this because God said so. However it would be falsehood (or cult of purity as another poster called it) to say Christians should not hold hands or kiss while dating. That isn't in the bible.

Because if we want to start discussing what is sexual act, I can argue that it is adultery (sexual act) to just look at any women on the street lustfully that isn't your wife. I say this because Jesus said it. So I can argue that no one on earth is pure.

 

[CCHIPSS]

God doesn't run this world. Satan is the God of this world.
So don't think that this world is a sitcom for your benefit.

Satan cannot do jack unless God allowed him to. We can see that in Job.

 

[LoveDivine]

I support 100% the idea that it is the right thing to do to save sex till marriage. I say this because God said so. However it would be falsehood (or cult of purity as another poster called it) to say Christians should not hold hands or kiss while dating. That isn't in the bible.

Because if we want to start discussing what is sexual act, I can argue that it is adultery (sexual act) to just look at any women on the street lustfully that isn't your wife. I say this because Jesus said it. So I can argue that no one on earth is pure.

I disagree. Jesus never said that to look at a woman that isn't your wife is sin. He said that a man that looks at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery. There is a very big difference between the two. The human brain is very observant. We process things constantly. Noticing a person and making the mental assessment that they are attractive is not lust. Lust occurs when a person allows that assessment to progress to fantasy and desire.

 

[LoveDivine]

I don't think any of the guys in this thread, who advocated the idea of waiting to kiss till marriage, have stated that the Bible condemns kissing before marriage. What they said was that they find it easier to remain pure if they don't excite desires through kissing/physical contact.

I also really disagree with the concept that no one is pure. While it is true that all of us are sinners and impure apart from the grace of God, that statement seems like a cop out. I am not condemning guys who do kiss, etc before marriage. I don't personally think that is a sin. (I do think that what the guys in this thread are advocating is a higher standard and safer). I just don't agree with the concept that since none of us are pure, we shouldn't try to have some standards.

 

[historyincognito]

by the who made this world and the devil is not the god of this world there is only one God and that is the Great I Am. The devil is doomed and he knows it so he is trying with all his being to bring as many other being with him to death.

 

[EazyMack]

Nobody said saving kissing for marriage is in the Bible.

Also, I'm pretty sure I can handle holding hands before marriage without being tempted to run all the way around the bases.

 

[EazyMack]

!

 

[historyincognito]

The idea of being pure is not that we are pure is that we are trying to get purely. We will never be truly pure until we are in heaven with Jesus.

 

[historyincognito]

Im not lol

I mean at my church

 

[CCHIPSS]

I disagree. Jesus never said that to look at a woman that isn't your wife is sin. He said that a man that looks at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery. There is a very big difference between the two. The human brain is very observant. We process things constantly. Noticing a person and making the mental assessment that they are attractive is not lust. Lust occurs when a person allows that assessment to progress to fantasy and desire.

When I look at a beautiful lady, and my eyes hold onto her for a moment, I consider it lust. Or when I see her I quickly look away, I also consider it lust.

I have a hard time not doing the above even when I am on a date with a lady.

Because something is happening inside of my heart. That lady is not my wife, but yet I "want and desire" her. I am not sure you understand. But guys cannot look at an attractive lady and not desire her in their heart.

If my future wife can read my mind in those moments, she will be hurt. That's why it is a sin.

The worst part is I cannot stop myself. And no man can stop themselves from this. That's why we need forgiveness and understanding from the ladies. We men are all broken. But it doesn't stop us from trying to do the right thing when we can.

I think going into fantasy (e.g. imagine taking her clothes off) would be a step to far. That's pretty much just like watching inappropriate content. Only the guy create his own inappropriate content for himself in his head.

 

[historyincognito]

The Lord Jesus said in the sermon on the mount, "blessed are the pure in Heart" this sets a high standard for us humans.

 

[LoveDivine]

When I look at a beautiful lady, and my eyes hold onto her for a moment, I consider it lust. Or when I see her I quickly look away, I also consider it lust.

I have a hard time not doing the above even when I am on a date with a lady.

Because something is happening inside of my heart. That lady is not my wife, but yet I "want and desire" her. I am not sure you understand. But guys cannot look at an attractive lady and not desire her in their heart.

If my future wife can read my mind in those moments, she will be hurt. That's why it is a sin.

The worst part is I cannot stop myself. And no man can stop themselves from this. That's why we need forgiveness and understanding from the ladies. We men are all broken. But it doesn't stop us from trying to do the right thing when we can.

I think going into fantasy (e.g. imagine taking her clothes off) would be a step to far. That's pretty much just like watching inappropriate content. Only the guy create his own inappropriate content for himself in his head.

I won't lie, I wouldn't be overly thrilled if my date was checking out all the other women instead of talking to me By checking out, I don't mean a guy noticing an attractive woman that walks past. It would become a little awkward if he was staring at her or drooling over her, lol. Perhaps this is something you are currently struggling with. I don't think though that you can state that all men desire every attractive woman they notice. Also, you are a single guy. It is a little different if a single guy checks out potentially available women and is attracted to them. That is normal and in my opinion part of the process in finding women who are potentials to date. Married men are already committed to their wives and they have to exercise more caution and control to prevent sinful thoughts from creeping in. I would also say that feeling attraction isn't a sin in itself either. If feeling attraction is a sin that would mean that a person sins when they feel temptation. You only sin when you yield to temptation.