Christian widowhood and celibacy

[ThyLovingkindness]

Good morning to all you sweet dear friends,
I hope you are having a blessed Friday. As I was reading all the posts on this particular thread, I wanted to share the dream I had in my earlier days of being widowed. My husband was in Heaven for about two months already, and my heart was aching so much. I just wanted to see him again. I cried to the Lord that night and asked if I could just see him one more time. I went to bed and in the middle of the night, my husband walked up to my bed, put out his hand and told me to hold his hand. I told him I couldn't do that because he wasn't real. He said hold my hand. I reached out and touched his hand. How real it was. The next thing I remembered he was laying next to me in the bed and talking to me. I couldn't hear what he was saying. Shortly after that, I woke up and the tears came. I crawled out of bed and fell on my knees and worshipped my Heavenly Father, thanking Him for answering my prayers. I felt so comforted. It was such an overwhelming feeling of love from my Saviour. To this day, I can still remember the dream and the wonderful comfort the Lord gave me that night. I also remember telling my children about the wonderful dream I had. I cried with tears of joy as I told them about it and what a wonderful God we have. Oh how He loves us.

On the other subject of meeting someone else - as a human being, I would have moments of wanting someone else in my life. Then I would think of all the stuff that comes with that, and then I would say foreget it. I would go back and forth with my emotions. Not that there was anyone in my life to make me even have these emotions. It was just part of my journey that I was on. Like a yoyo. One day I wanted to meet someone, and the very next day I wouldn't. Can any of you ladies relate? Anyway, at this part of my pilgrimage, I am content (for now). As I am typing this, I have one of my favorite Scriptures in front of me. "But as it is written, Eye hath no seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." I Corinthians 2:9 I'm chosing to wait on Him.

On another subject - I wanted you girls to know I have been enjoying reading your posts. They are refreshing, encouraging, and a blessing.

Christian Widow

Hi Christianwidow, what you wrote about the visit from your late-husband touched me deeply. As I read your post a memory sprang to mind. It's healing, being able to share these things.

Anyway, about the memory, something happened around a month after my husband's demise. When he was alive, he always mowed the lawn. But afterward I had to hire a gardener because I couldn't do it. One particular morning I was sleeping, and a lawn mower powered up in the back yard, awakening me. I suddenly sprung out of bed and ran to the bedroom window, opened it and shouted, "Bill!" That was my husband's name. But it wasn't Bill mowing the lawn. It was the punctual gardener that I'd hired to do the job that was no longer my husband's chore. When I realized that it wasn't Bill, I burst into tears. And here I am, tearing up over it again.

Isn't it funny as a widow, and I'm sure this is true for widowers as well, how, especially at first, we talk about our respective spouses in the present tense, as if they're still with us. It took me along time to get over doing that.

Absolutely I relate to the yo-yo thing you describe. It's like, I'll meet someone occasionally and find myself attracted. But when it comes right down to it, I don't think I'm ready, and God hasn't indicated otherwise. Despite bumps in the road, I'm once again wary of the allure of sexual sin. Sometimes being lonely and simultaneously drawn to the opposite sex can be so deceptive, in that it can cause a person to fall in not love, but lust, not to mention the ensuing pain. Paul says in Corinthians to flee from sexual immorality. And on those rare occasions when flight from such sin wasn't an option... I in retrospect became convicted, and reminded in no uncertain terms that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, and not a playground.

Thanks for the scripture Christianwidow, here's the cross-reference for it from the KJV,

"For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him." Isaiah 64:4

Here's another really cool one,

"For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind." Isaiah 65:17

Blessings!

 

[blackribbon]

I "experienced" my husband after he died. It is hard to explain because I "saw" him without using my eyes, I "heard" him without using my ears, and once I even smelled him...though I think I did use my real nose there. I believe that there is just a thin veil between us and where ever death/heaven is. I now believe that sometimes we can be allowed to see through. I know that these experiences were real because the amount of peace I felt at the time was overwhelming...and Satan doesn't possess that kind of peace. I also know that I didn't imagine them because they came when they wanted to not when I thought I needed them. I only wish I could imagine those experiences.

I will share the smell one. At six month, I took my kids to my mother's and decided to just drive where ever the wind blew me for two weeks. I needed time to grieve and time with God and time to think. It was just what I needed at that point...time to myself without any responsibilities. I was overwhelmed with life and exhausted with trying to bring life back to normal for my kids.

After almost too weeks, I suddenly missed my kids and knew it was time to go home...as I drove through the state I was born and raised in, I had an interesting experience. The radio began to play one of the songs I had picked for my husband's funeral...I had never heard the song before he died and I have never heard it played on the radio except that one single time. While the song was playing, my car suddenly was filled with the smell of my husband's hands. Until that moment, I did not remembered his hands had a very distinct smell...it was a mix of oils from his job and faded cigarettes and just him. I could smell that smell when he held my face in his hands. The smell lasted until the song was over and then it faded away. I was within just a few miles of my birthplace...somewhere I haven't been near in almost 40 years...

For anyone interested...here is the song...I can remember that smell when I hear it...however, I actually smelled it that day...

Vince Gill - Go Rest High On That Mountain - YouTube

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

I "experienced" my husband after he died. It is hard to explain because I "saw" him without using my eyes, I "heard" him without using my ears, and once I even smelled him...though I think I did use my real nose there. I believe that there is just a thin veil between us and where ever death/heaven is. I now believe that sometimes we can be allowed to see through. I know that these experiences were real because the amount of peace I felt at the time was overwhelming...and Satan doesn't possess that kind of peace. I also know that I didn't imagine them because they came when they wanted to not when I thought I needed them. I only wish I could imagine those experiences.

I will share the smell one. At six month, I took my kids to my mother's and decided to just drive where ever the wind blew me for two weeks. I needed time to grieve and time with God and time to think. It was just what I needed at that point...time to myself without any responsibilities. I was overwhelmed with life and exhausted with trying to bring life back to normal for my kids.

After almost too weeks, I suddenly missed my kids and knew it was time to go home...as I drove through the state I was born and raised in, I had an interesting experience. The radio began to play one of the songs I had picked for my husband's funeral...I had never heard the song before he died and I have never heard it played on the radio except that one single time. While the song was playing, my car suddenly was filled with the smell of my husband's hands. Until that moment, I did not remembered his hands had a very distinct smell...it was a mix of oils from his job and faded cigarettes and just him. I could smell that smell when he held my face in his hands. The smell lasted until the song was over and then it faded away. I was within just a few miles of my birthplace...somewhere I haven't been near in almost 40 years...

For anyone interested...here is the song...I can remember that smell when I hear it...however, I actually smelled it that day...

Vince Gill - Go Rest High On That Mountain - YouTube

Hi blackribbon, I've been busy on here customizing my profile, and just caught your post!

What a beautiful song, thank you, I sure did and will enjoy listening to it, and others no doubt will too. I can't express how touched I am by what you and others are sharing, this is cyber-fellowship at it's nearest, dearest, and deepest. It is an honor and a privilege to divulge my experiences of widowhood; and most sacred to read what you have to say.

Wow, I'd love to just hop in my car and take off like you did, like right now... but remembering back to those earlier times, I made the choice to stay home and fix up the place, my hubby would have been so pleased. Even with the price of gas, I daydream of driving up north, the redwoods are pretty... yet for now, I'm content sharing those dreams with you.

The way you describe your husband, I tell you I could almost sense his presence too. The Holy Spirit is at work here in a big way... can't find the words. Earlier I wrote about tears of glory in tribulation... methinks that this is occurring as I type, joyful tears. My goal in saying the preceding isn't to be maudlin, nor dramatic... praise Jesus. I can't think of anything better to do right now than that. God bless you.

 

[Christianwidow]

Dear sweet ladies, I am so enjoying this fellowship too. May we each continue to pray for one another during our journey. It's like we have known one another for a very long time. True Christian fellowship. I feel like we are all gathered together around the table fellowshipping. Such sweetness. Father, thank you for my new sisters in Christ.

Christian Widow

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

Dear sweet ladies, I am so enjoying this fellowship too. May we each continue to pray for one another during our journey. It's like we have known one another for a very long time. True Christian fellowship. I feel like we are all gathered together around the table fellowshipping. Such sweetness. Father, thank you for my new sisters in Christ.

Christian Widow

Amen Christianwidow, you bless me. Some of us have recently suffered loss, and others who've been widows longer might have more wisdom to offer because they've been through it. But you're right... we do need each other, all of us.

I recall when I was a new widow, there was this one upbeat woman who lead the grief group I briefly attended. She'd been widowed for about 5 years, and was carrying on about how she'd recently met another man to whom she became engaged, oh how thrilled she was. Her insinuation was that if this could happen to her, it might just happen to me. I just looked at her. I mean, my husband had just died days' before, what was she thinking? Where another male managed to fill the void for her at the time, all I wanted was my husband back. To this day, those comments of hers haven't resonated with me. Some women really think that to have a man in their life is the be all and end all. But it wasn't too long afterward that I realized that Jesus will never leave me nor forsake me.

Praise Him! Thanks Christianwidow, it's great that you stopped by.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Good afternoon Michelle, how are you? Ummm... clue me in, what does "BBM" mean? Still learning the jargon, be patient with the poor dear... {me... }...

Once again I relate to your post, I'm a sinner while a lover of Christ who loved me first... you know, as I answer you the following scripture infiltrates my head, so here it is,

Romans 6:1-4
1 What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound?

2 God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?

3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?

4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

I recall talking with a senior and saintly woman about life as a Christian, and she said that it's impossible for us not to sin while still on earth (Jesus, come quickly... Thy will be done!). This is a lady who along with her husband is active in music ministry and has been a Christian since the age of 12. She's now in her 80's... and still going strong. My point is, that regardless of the length of time we've been saved, we all have crosses to bear. So a sinner with a repentant heart and through our mediator, His name's Jesus, we can be reconciled to an holy God. Now that's praiseworthy, don'tcha think? Hallelujah!

BBM = Bolded By Me. What I meant by what I was saying about still learning (of course this IS a life long journey) is sometimes I forget or don't think about asking God should I get this or do this or not and in those situations I will have to ask for forgiveness afterward.

 

[ThyLovingkindness]

BBM = Bolded By Me. What I meant by what I was saying about still learning (of course this IS a life long journey) is sometimes I forget or don't think about asking God should I get this or do this or not and in those situations I will have to ask for forgiveness afterward.

Good morning Michelle, I have family visiting and a break in the action right now, just noticed your post. I appreciate the slight diversion!

Right, as long as we live on this floating rock, it's a learning curve,

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:9

So until the new heaven and new earth are revealed, we've faith that is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Blessings!