How do you know when its the one?

[Faithfulandtrue]

My boyfriend is the only bf I've ever had. We have been dating almost a year now and now he says he wants to marry me but hasn't officially proposed. At times i love the idea of us getting married and other times I'm not so sure. I don't really know what I'm doing being a 31 year old who never thought she would get a bf let alone get married. He's also a new Christian and I've been a Christian most of my life. I sometimes question if he's a real Christian and I think that's why I feel on the fence about the whole thing. He's a wonderful guy though and does things that a godly man would do, I just don't know if he has a real relationship with the Lord. We are dating long distance now so he hasn't plugged into a church yet but he has a Bible

 

[venksta]

Do you both spend time in God's word together? Based on the information you shared, you have more wisdom to discern your bf's relationship with God. Pray and encourage him to continue developing his relationship with God. If he hasn't joined a church yet, encourage that as well. Having other godly influences in his life will help him very much, as he meets other Christians. As for knowing if he is the one, my advice would be to not be in a hurry. Especially with your bf being a new believer. You also want to work on God's time schedule, and not the one you and your bf want. That way, you can enjoy God's best in both your lives.

 

[NBB]

Ask God fervently about this, and make sure is God what is helping you decide, one of the worst things you can do in life, is making bonds with the wrong people, more in marriage.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

Do you both spend time in God's word together? Based on the information you shared, you have more wisdom to discern your bf's relationship with God. Pray and encourage him to continue developing his relationship with God. If he hasn't joined a church yet, encourage that as well. Having other godly influences in his life will help him very much, as he meets other Christians. As for knowing if he is the one, my advice would be to not be in a hurry. Especially with your bf being a new believer. You also want to work on God's time schedule, and not the one you and your bf want. That way, you can enjoy God's best in both your lives.

Thank you so much for your advice. I definitely agree with you. I'm scared to marry him only to find out he was pretending to be a believer or if he would walk away from the Lord later on. I also don't want to do anything against what the Lord wants since He(the Lord) is my everything.

 

[Faithfulandtrue]

Ask God fervently about this, and make sure is God what is helping you decide, one of the worst things you can do in life, is making bonds with the wrong people, more in marriage.

I totally agree 100%.

 

[bèlla]

Why do you think he'd pretend? Are you allowing your fear to blind you to his character? While it does occur there's likely to be related signs of duplicity that were ignored. Deceiving someone to that degree takes intention and commitment. If he has demonstrated sound character thus far in other respects is it fair to make a leap in another without a reason to do so?

As a new believer he'll have many questions, periods of excitement, uncertainty and expected highs and lows until he gets his footing. The bigger question is whether you can handle it without wondering if he'll fly the coop when he stumbles.

Understandably, this requires patience and much prayer. If I were in your shoes I would have a day of fasting each week for the duration of the connection and keep the relationship and your mutual growth in prayer. Your spiritual strength and prayers will be a godsend. Be mindful of the parable of the sower and encourage his efforts. If he hasn't found a church recommend a podcast or channel with sound teachings he can listen to or suggest he look for local churches who stream their services online. That's a good way to get a feel for a place initially.

Most importantly, trust the Lord and rest in the certainty of His presence. Ask Him to order your steps and his and guide the union. And bless him with a book on prayer. There's several for men and it will bless his fellowship. Many feel they don't know what to say or how to pray and that's a great starting point.

~bella