am I living a sinful lifestyle?

[S.O.J.I.A.]

i'm just gonna put this out there...




i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is. while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

 

[Paidiske]

I think it's one thing to think that you're not doing enough, but it's another thing to have a positive sense of what you might do. I think when you find the thing you're gifted and called to do, the motivation will be there; but the trick is working out what that is.

Have you maybe thought about seeing a spiritual director?

 

[Job3315]

i'm just gonna put this out there...




i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is. while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

I used to be an avid gamer for about 4 years until the owner of the game pulled the plug. I found myself lost. I wasnt a christian then though, so I was lost lost.

After that terrible death of the game (wont lie, I miss it) I started seeing God’s hands in my life and how His Spirit started opening doors. I was condemning myself because I wasn’t in Africa with Heydi Baker or I wasn’t street evangelizing like Todd White, but then I realized that’s not where the Lord sent me to be or made me to be. That’s when I started learning about who I am and my identity and slowly I’ve been learning to lean on to Him and to be happy with who I am even if it means to be holding someones hand while they die (I care for the elderly in this season of my life). I feel He is perparing me for something, I don’t know what but one of the best things that happened to me was to stop gaming and learn about myself.

 

[St. Helens]

It seems to me that you are good with interacting with people online. This could be a ministry opportunity for you. God could use you in interacting with people here on CF. That is a form of ministry. Working online can be a lot easier with people dealing with ASD. It is not cowardice if ASD does affect your relationships when you deal with people person to person. God will not hold that against you. God's grace will be sufficient for you. As the old saying goes bloom where you are planted and use what you have. God will reward you for it.

It is a good thing that you hate things that are filthy and vulgar. That is an asset in your favor.

 

[Call me Nic]

Does your church have an evangelism/outreach program you could get involved in?

I can only speak personally, but I've struggled with the same convictions in my own spirit regarding my own faith. You and I are both considered late bloomers, friend, but the Lord can work miracles amongst even the most ungodly and excuse-ridden people if they have a heart to hearken unto the Lord. Just keep praying, and I will keep you in my prayers.

However, in regards to the evangelism: what I've found is that spreading the good news of Jesus Christ to people is a very fulfilling and rewarding work. It's always difficult to start out, but it isn't hard to get good at with a little work and diligence, and the Lord desires all his people to go and teach the nations and all people the gospel. I think there is a good place to start, because that is seeking first the kingdom of God, which will allow all other things to fall in place for you. I wish you Godspeed on this, and highly suggest it if it is something that you find you have a heart for. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions regarding it.

God bless!

 

[Kaon]

i'm just gonna put this out there...




i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

The above part is your (continual) realization that the meat sack you occupy is defunct - according to the design of the Most High God. Everything you mentions isn't important; the reason they happen (corruptibility) is the issue. You clearly know this.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is.

You think? These words (and below) sounds like the literal Wisdom of God encouraging you to think about, meditate and reconcile your life (while you still can.) Perhaps you were doing well for the level you were at, but God says it may be time for you to upgrade your spiritual thinking. Now, things that weren't a spiritual issue for you may become one - for the purposes of refining you, and making you white as snow.

while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

Clearly you are being refined if you truly believe the Word of God is who He says He is. There will be instances where other entities will exploit your insecurities in yourself, and the Most High God. That is when you run to the Most High God (not us.) You will notice it; it technically already happened.


To answer your question: Yes, you are living a sinful life. (But, we all are; one sin pollutes the entire body.) God is trying to show you the fine points of your iniquity - for the purposes of refinement.

 

[royal priest]

i'm just gonna put this out there...




i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is. while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

It's really good that you are examining yourself in light of God's Word. That's a fundamental part of being a Christian in order to discern what the will of Christ is for you. The more you study it and pray over it, the more you will mature in your understanding of God's will for you.
1 Peter 2:2
Psalms 119:59-60

 

[.Mikha'el.]

i'm just gonna put this out there...




i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is. while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

Just because we feel the nudge to move forward to a different place in life doesn't mean that where we are at currently is a sin. It just means He has better plans for us, and we'd best listen to what they are.

 

[Kevin Snow]

I'm glad to hear you are not engaging in inappropriate contentography and you should never start. It took over my life and destroyed me and it has that power, so you can thank God for that blessing and mercy.

Nevertheless, gaming is an addiction and creates very different expectations about work ethic since you accomplish something so easily in a game. It also messes with your sense of time. I've played video games all my life and am glad to be free of them.

The one most important thing you should surround your day with is reading scripture both night and day. As it says,

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. ~Joshua 1:8

I, myself, read my bible both day and night and it helps to stabilize everything. Besides this is exactly how you get started in living a more meaningful life. It says that the scriptures are:

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.
~2 Timothy 3:16-17

This training is what you can begin to do; knowing that God will equip you for the work he has made you for, for his glory.

Lastly, you are absolutely right that it's about serving people and being connected. Start looking for ways to become involved in your community. There are many homeless on the streets. There are the lonely and crying out in prison. There are avenues to finding out how you can make a difference in someone's life.

I ask God for you that you will be given a clear head for what you are about to begin and that you devote it to the Lord as an offering of praise and thanksgiving to the glory of God.

Peace brother and may God's face shine upon you in your endeavor to be zealous for good works.

He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds. ~Titus 2:14

 

[Christfan]

Seeing as you’re a close to ten year older me, I can tell you that you are living in sin. We were not made to be content with our life(which is a bad sign), but continue growing and working for the Lord. You seem to know this as well, but actually doing something or having the spark of motivation is a different story and it eludes me from changing.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

Have you maybe thought about seeing a spiritual director?

being so far off the social grid I don't know where i'd find one who I could trust and would actually be helpful

It seems to me that you are good with interacting with people online. This could be a ministry opportunity for you. God could use you in interacting with people here on CF. That is a form of ministry. Working online can be a lot easier with people dealing with ASD. It is not cowardice if ASD does affect your relationships when you deal with people person to person. God will not hold that against you. God's grace will be sufficient for you. As the old saying goes bloom where you are planted and use what you have. God will reward you for it.

I put my 2 cents in here and there.

Does your church have an evangelism/outreach program you could get involved in?

i'm attending the service at a church local to me. I don't plan on becoming a member here as there are various doctrinal discrepancies that would keep me from doing that. I'm attending simply because I need to get out of the house and be around other people outside of when i'm forced to do so for work.

The above part is your (continual) realization that the meat sack you occupy is defunct - according to the design of the Most High God. Everything you mentions isn't important; the reason they happen (corruptibility) is the issue. You clearly know this.



You think? These words (and below) sounds like the literal Wisdom of God encouraging you to think about, meditate and reconcile your life (while you still can.) Perhaps you were doing well for the level you were at, but God says it may be time for you to upgrade your spiritual thinking. Now, things that weren't a spiritual issue for you may become one - for the purposes of refining you, and making you white as snow.



Clearly you are being refined if you truly believe the Word of God is who He says He is. There will be instances where other entities will exploit your insecurities in yourself, and the Most High God. That is when you run to the Most High God (not us.) You will notice it; it technically already happened.


To answer your question: Yes, you are living a sinful life. (But, we all are; one sin pollutes the entire body.) God is trying to show you the fine points of your iniquity - for the purposes of refinement.

the first 5 years after being saved the LORD established in me a good spiritual foundation. in the next 5 years He desires to build upon that foundation.

Just because we feel the nudge to move forward to a different place in life doesn't mean that where we are at currently is a sin. It just means He has better plans for us, and we'd best listen to what they are.

not listening would be the sinful part..

Seeing as you’re a close to ten year older me, I can tell you that you are living in sin. We were not made to be content with our life(which is a bad sign), but continue growing and working for the Lord. You seem to know this as well, but actually doing something or having the spark of motivation is a different story and it eludes me from changing.

I hear ya..

 

[AvgJoe]

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong.

Romans 14:23b (NLT)
If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.

 

[Paidiske]

being so far off the social grid I don't know where i'd find one who I could trust and would actually be helpful

I don't know where you are in America, but perhaps you could ask the minister of the church you're going to if he knows of someone?

 

[Bobber]

i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

BUT did Jesus Christ hesitate to put forth 100% effort for you to provide Salvation? Yes for you! Did he hesitate or turn down having spikes driven into his hands and feet and a spear thrust into his side, and stripes laid on on back? Yes for you! Wow! Looks like the Lord as I said put in 100% effort for you...don't you think we should return the favor?

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Romans 12:1-2

You know why it's a reasonable thing for us to give our all for God? For the reason that he gave his all for us! Please give it some serious thought.

 

[Kaon]

the first 5 years after being saved the LORD established in me a good spiritual foundation. in the next 5 years He desires to build upon that foundation.

That is what is it sounds like. You may be growing. I didn't realize you were a [relative] newborn compared to your age.

Yea, then with that perspective I would consider myself highly blessed to have Him call and convict you after five years - with an apparently sober mind. I squandered my first years as a hypocrite, and then learned all my lessons I was supposed to learn then fast and hard. The last thing I would say is don't do the same thing.

Also, without being arrogant, give yourself some credit for actually listening (if you are, in fact, listening.)

 

[Lukaris]

The Lord tells us to abide in Him by keeping His commandments.

John 15:1-10

Basically He wants us to be charitable and pray.

Matthew 6:1-15

Keep his commandments for daily living.

Matthew 19:16-19
Romans 13:8-10
Ephesians 4:28

This seems to be our basics; there is more here than we may often realize. We work out our salvation in fear & trembling ( Philippians 2:12-13 ). Our works are necessary but the Lord just expects this of us ( Luke 17:1-10 ).

 

[Kit Sigmon]

i'm just gonna put this out there...

i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is. while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

I'm one of the few who believe that if you can live at home and contribute why
not do that if you be single and can get along with family?

I believe in saving money for the future and would tell any hopeful singles who want to live away from home they should have at least one year's salary saved up and invested in a good, low risk investment before they move out to establish they own home(s)... granted, there be some situations that may call for different measures but for now this is about things being "fine" and if a single wants to move out and have his or her own place... BUT don't go buying a place that you peg for a "marriage home"... get a place that's economical and be for someone flying solo(single).

A "marriage home" is a place you and your wife pick out together.
This be why I have a guy friend living in a one bedroom economical apartment and he's stacking paper(saving money/investing) for the future, his car is paid for
and he has just the usual monthly bills... no loans, no previous marriages and no children to put the squeeze on him for money.
He's looking for a woman who is the same(no loans, no previous marriages and no children) for he got zero interest in raising another man's children... as he's
had many years experience dealing with lady friend's who had children by other men, none of it works... dads out of the picture, but shows up causing trouble when he gets news that his baby's momma is dating somebody.

Three years solo isn't enough time living on your own...those be establishing good pattern years... that is, living godly, being ambassador for the Lord, working
your job and properly investing your time, some of your money and effort in Kingdom work and investing some of your money for the future)...it usually
takes a body that long to get that routine firmly established, then comes
preparing yourself for marriage, getting godly mentorship from mature married guys who be long established in the faith and have at least 30+ years of marriage to the same woman and be willing to teach "single young brothers" some godly marriage points/giving godly marriage advice.

Don't matter if you got ASD or Hong Kong Virus(can't be nowhere long)... there
women out there looking for someone who will respect them and that needs them.
My husband has learning disability and a couple other health issues that make
him unsuitable for some but not for me, 'cause I have my own issues, my back
is trashed due to working decades as a caregiver, I have anxiety/panic attacks
and I can't have children...lot of men would pass me by, but the man I'm married
to didn't.
Our disabilities compliment, where he's weak, I'm strong and where I'm
weak, he's strong.
Both of us be from failed marriages due to having cheating spouses who wouldn't stop having affairs.
Like I said, I can't have children, he came with 3 grown married children who
produced for us a truckload of grand-babies.
We all family, the ex-spouses and their current spouses, all the children and grand-babies....we also of different ethnic groups, so we look like the UN when
we all get together.
How we got here... we all came to put our faith in Christ and strive to live
godly lives.
We ain't perfect, but we trusting in the One who is!

 

[salt-n-light]

i'm just gonna put this out there...




i'm 36 years old and I am staying with my folks after having moved back in from being on my own for 3 years. I work a remedial job that pays decent and I help out with bills and repairs whenever I can. the reason I moved back was because my ambitions to become a married man fell through and for good reason. I thought I was in a position to support a family and I was totally wrong as some of my interpretations of scripture(matthew 6:25-34, 1 timothy 6:6-8) regarding such things were misguided. realizing this, I decided to just let go of the possibility.

I found out several months ago that I am on the spectrum(ASD). this explained why relationships have never worked for me throughout my life and gave me another layer of peace on top of the LORD saving me in 2012 and taking the misery of loneliness away.

i'm still pretty much a isolated individual(I am a rock...I am an island). I have my personal hobbies that I engage in and that are satisfying(avid gamer). I have no friends or anyone to talk to, I am completely estranged from my family, and if I died tomorrow I don't think anyone would care. hopefully someone will put my body in a compost heap or something as I find expensive funerals that are thousands of dollars to be ridiculous.

i'm not writing this for pity(give me none!) as I am not depressed, despaired, nor saddened at all about where my life is. in fact, as long as I have my hobbies to be able to engage in i'm perfectly fine where my life is. I'm not into inappropriate content, violent programs, or vulgar music, I actually detest such things, but I can't say that my life matters much at all. in fact, it's pretty irrelevant. no one would lose anything if I died tomorrow.

there in lies the issue.

I feel like the LORD has been convicting me the last few months about where my life is. while I am, indeed, comfortable and content with who I am and where i'm at, I'm starting to think the LORD is not. I've been checking out sermons online as well as some messages from the church i'm going to currently along with stuff from non-believing sources that have all been saying things on laziness, cowardice, and living lives that matter. they've got me thinking that I need to do better. I need to live a life that impacts other people, not for my own glory and fame but for the LORD's glory and for the benefit of my neighbor. I was not created and saved to have an utterly irrelevant existence and die.

I've looked at the tales of the talents and minas in Matthew and Luke and see myself as the 3rd guy who did nothing with what he was given. I've combined this with 1 Corinthians 12 and the gifts of the Spirit and how all those who are God's children have something of benefit to give to the church.

I've also looked at revelation 21:8 and how the first two people on the list of those who will be cast into the lake of fire are the cowardly and the unbelieving. I combined this with how the LORD told Moses to go and free His people. Moses made numerous excuses about how he couldn't do what the LORD asked him. every time the LORD came up with a solution for Moses' excuses but on the last one Moses told God to just find someone else and the LORD was angry with him for that because Moses was acting in cowardice and unbelief.

again, I am totally content with where my life is and am not looking for pity, but I'm starting to believe the way i'm living is wrong. i'm rounding 40 and am stuck in my ways and it's gonna take a lot of effort for me to change my life, more effort than I'm willing to put in.

maybe I should have put this in prayer wall as i'm not sure what advice would be helpful, but prayers would be appreciated.

My sister is actually in the same position as you, in her 30s moved in back about 5 years ago after becoming a widow in a 3 year marriage. During that marriage she gave her life to Christ (not sure about the late bro in law) and shes been an avid studier of the Word to this day. She finished school and turn her life back around spritually and financially. She's content with just gaming on the computer after a long day at work.

She's on Second Life, and there shes able to minister to people in her spare time, since her schedule isn't so solid. She also feels like she needs to be involve more on a more in person basis. But thats not to say that she hasn't touched lives where she is right now at the moment.

I guess I said all that to encourage you to not feel like a failure, God uses anyone at any moment at any time. It may not be like the poster child missionary or evalengist, but even the simple encouragement online you never know how much of an impact it can bring to a person. Its just a matter of being open to unilize any moment you have to bring God glory, whether big or small. If you want to do more, go for it, if you want to do something more online, go for it. But don't do it out of guilt, do it because you have the passion for it and see it as a tool to bring others to know God.