Is it a sin (not honoring my father) to call my father whom abandoned me by his first name in prayer?

[Riot42]

My father abandoned me when I was a child and Ive only seen him twice in my life as an adult when he went to my cousin's graduation and my grandmothers funeral.

I do not like calling him "Dad" or "Father" as he never filled that role for me, it makes me cringe to call him that even in this thread. My father is in heaven. To this day I have abandonment issues, though I will credit him that he has made me the best father I know as I am the Dad I wish I had.

I pray for him nightly and thank God for him and his family using his first name. Ive been wondering if this is dishonoring him and have asked the holy spirit for guidance on this and while I do not feel convicted of it as I do other sins I feel uncertain. So just wanted to see what other people's thoughts are if it is not honoring your father by praying for them with their first name.

Funny story, when I was young I held alot of hate for him. I would say childish things like "If I ever see him again ill knock him out." When I was 19 I was visiting my grandmother and we were watching home movies and he was in some of them. That night I prayed and forgave him, felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. The next day I went to my other grandmother's home and they were like "come on in we have a surprise for you" and there he was for the first time in 10 years... Awesome how God works isnt it? "Oh you forgive him huh? Lets see!"

 

[turkle]

Not at all. He is a sperm donor and a stranger to you, not a father. It's wonderful that you pray for him at all. Call him whatever makes you comfortable. God knows.

 

[Riot42]

Not at all. He is a sperm donor and a stranger to you, not a father. It's wonderful that you pray for him at all. Call him whatever makes you comfortable. God knows.

Thank you for your response.

 

[PloverWing]

My church's tradition in its Sunday prayers is to pray for an assortment of people by their first names. This includes parishioners, some of our loved ones, and also some public figures. So, we pray for "Joe, our president" (previously, "Donald, our president"), "Phil, our governor", "Sally, our bishop", and so on. The idea, I think, is that whatever our grand titles might be in the world, in church we are known by our baptismal names. Your prayers for your dad fit this pattern.

Like @turkle , I think it's wonderful that you pray for your father, by whatever name you need to call him, and I am glad you are starting to find healing.

 

[biblelesson]

My father abandoned me when I was a child and Ive only seen him twice in my life as an adult when he went to my cousin's graduation and my grandmothers funeral.

I do not like calling him "Dad" or "Father" as he never filled that role for me, it makes me cringe to call him that even in this thread. My father is in heaven. To this day I have abandonment issues, though I will credit him that he has made me the best father I know as I am the Dad I wish I had.

I pray for him nightly and thank God for him and his family using his first name. Ive been wondering if this is dishonoring him and have asked the holy spirit for guidance on this and while I do not feel convicted of it as I do other sins I feel uncertain. So just wanted to see what other people's thoughts are if it is not honoring your father by praying for them with their first name.

Funny story, when I was young I held alot of hate for him. I would say childish things like "If I ever see him again ill knock him out." When I was 19 I was visiting my grandmother and we were watching home movies and he was in some of them. That night I prayed and forgave him, felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. The next day I went to my other grandmother's home and they were like "come on in we have a surprise for you" and there he was for the first time in 10 years... Awesome how God works isnt it? "Oh you forgive him huh? Lets see!"

I have had issues with my father to the point it was hard to say the word father - even to call God father.

But I have learned that God requires us to forgive - from our hearts. We are to be like our Father in heaven and forgive those who hurt us because He forgave us.

We are to honor our father and mothers - God did not put provisions on that honor. Yes there are bad parents, but we have to get to the place of true forgiveness and turn the situation over to God.

What if something happening to your father that was so painful, it caused him to abandon his children. What if it tears him apart inside for what took place when you was a child, but he don’t see a way to reconcile his wrong just now. What if he prays to God each night about the situation and he himself ask God to forgive him.

There are a lot what ifs. We don’t know what circumstances our parents had to deal with when we were children, and we don’t always know if our parents suffered abuse. Don’t judge your father. God can soften your heart to forgive all situations of hurt.

My story is worst than most. I was given an overdose of barbiturates at five years old by family members who hid me from the paramedics and left me to die. I had only a few minutes to live by the time I was found and rushed to the hospital. I know who did this to me, but I pray to forgive them all, because I would rather express the love of God than hate.

May God bless you and please, find love in your heart for your father.

 

[biblelesson]

My church's tradition in its Sunday prayers is to pray for an assortment of people by their first names. This includes parishioners, some of our loved ones, and also some public figures. So, we pray for "Joe, our president" (previously, "Donald, our president"), "Phil, our governor", "Sally, our bishop", and so on. The idea, I think, is that whatever our grand titles might be in the world, in church we are known by our baptismal names. Your prayers for your dad fit this pattern.

Like @turkle , I think it's wonderful that you pray for your father, by whatever name you need to call him, and I am glad you are starting to find healing.

I want to share something from the Bible a lot of Christians are not clear on.

When it comes to authority, we give the same honor that we give to God! So, to call a president, for example, by his first name is not pleasing to God.

These are the reasons:

Mark 12:17 KJV says, “And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's…”

If it would be disrespectful to stand in front of a king and call him by his first name, and even the president and call him Joe, then that is not rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s: to do so is evil before God, so to pray in this manner is an abomination to God.

Romans 13:1-2 KJV
1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
2 “Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.”
7 “Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.”

Psalms 75:6-7 KJV
6 “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.”
7 “But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.”

Daniel 2:21 KJV
“And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:”

Proverbs 21:1 KJV
“The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.”

If the kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, and He sets them up, then we must respect the authority God Has given him. If we are to pray for kings, presidents, governors, etc, we go to God in respect for those God Has ordained to hold those positions. To call them by their first name before God is disrespect, and God is not pleased.

In the epistle of Jude, a stark warning is given, which requires some breaking down:

Jude 1:8 KJV
Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.

What Jude is saying here is when we don’t respect God’s commands in regards to the honor due to dignitaries, we are acting out in our carnal nature, and in fact are despising them and despising God’s authority over them. To say Joe, the president is in fact speaking evil against the president because it shows no respect for the position of the President that God established, at all.

Jude 1:9 KJV
“Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.”
Even the angels had to respect Satan, although Satan was condemned by God. This is because Satan had great authority in heaven, and the angels respected that authority: the angels were obedient and simply told Satan God rebuked him, but they did not disrespect him.
Jude is letting us know of the importance of respecting those in high positions by showing how the angels dealt with Satan. This is to be our positions with all in authority, although there are some who will be judged by God.

Jude 1:10 KJV
“But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves.”

The thing that’s not know is the authority given to dignitaries, set up by God, which is due all honor and respect, just like we are to give all honor and respect to God. To dishonor dignitaries, dishonors God and His authority. This is why Jude says this practice makes us brute beasts, and we naturally (natural corrupted self man) corrupt ourselves.

I would read the rest of Jude 1:10-12 KJV

Revelation 19:16 KJV
And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.

Jesus is King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, so we respect the authority Jesus Has over all kings and dignitaries, and the authority Jesus Has given them.

Study, read, and pray about this, and God can raise you up to bring awareness to your church about this issue.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I want to share something from the Bible a lot of Christians are not clear on.

When it comes to authority, we give the same honor that we give to God! So, to call a president, for example, by his first name is not pleasing to God.

These are the reasons:

Mark 12:17 KJV says, “And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's…”

If it would be disrespectful to stand in front of a king and call him by his first name, and even the president and call him Joe, then that is not rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s: to do so is evil before God, so to pray in this manner is an abomination to God.

Romans 13:1-2 KJV
1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
2 “Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.”
7 “Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.”

Psalms 75:6-7 KJV
6 “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.”
7 “But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.”

Daniel 2:21 KJV
“And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:”

Proverbs 21:1 KJV
“The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.”

If the kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, and He sets them up, then we must respect the authority God Has given him. If we are to pray for kings, presidents, governors, etc, we go to God in respect for those God Has ordained to hold those positions. To call them by their first name before God is disrespect, and God is not pleased.

In the epistle of Jude, a stark warning is given, which requires some breaking down:

Jude 1:8 KJV
Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.

What Jude is saying here is when we don’t respect God’s commands in regards to the honor due to dignitaries, we are acting out in our carnal nature, and in fact are despising them and despising God’s authority over them. To say Joe, the president is in fact speaking evil against the president because it shows no respect for the position of the President that God established, at all.

Jude 1:9 KJV
“Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.”
Even the angels had to respect Satan, although Satan was condemned by God. This is because Satan had great authority in heaven, and the angels respected that authority: the angels were obedient and simply told Satan God rebuked him, but they did not disrespect him.
Jude is letting us know of the importance of respecting those in high positions by showing how the angels dealt with Satan. This is to be our positions with all in authority, although there are some who will be judged by God.

Jude 1:10 KJV
“But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves.”

The thing that’s not know is the authority given to dignitaries, set up by God, which is due all honor and respect, just like we are to give all honor and respect to God. To dishonor dignitaries, dishonors God and His authority. This is why Jude says this practice makes us brute beasts, and we naturally (natural corrupted self man) corrupt ourselves.

I would read the rest of Jude 1:10-12 KJV

Revelation 19:16 KJV
And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.

Jesus is King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, so we respect the authority Jesus Has over all kings and dignitaries, and the authority Jesus Has given them.

Study, read, and pray about this, and God can raise you up to bring awareness to your church about this issue.

i do not believe that the intention of the pastor was to be disrespectful. Calling someone by their first name is not a sin or against any law of the Bible. To add to the law already given is to do what the pharisees did and to: "7...their teachings are merely human rules.’
8 You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” Mark 7:7-8

If they do things without the intention of disrespect or sin their thoughts excuse them according to Paul Romans 2:15 "They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them"

 

[biblelesson]

i do not believe that the intention of the pastor was to be disrespectful. Calling someone by their first name is not a sin or against any law of the Bible. To add to the law already given is to do what the pharisees did and to: "7...their teachings are merely human rules.’
8 You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” Mark 7:7-8

If they do things without the intention of disrespect or sin their thoughts excuse them according to Paul Romans 2:15 "They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them"

I never said the pastor intentionally was disrespectful. I simply provided scripture relating to the subject, and it is the scriptures that clearly shows why the practice is disrespect to authority.

However, God’s commands are absolute, there is no getting around God’s righteous demands; that’s why Jesus died for our sins. Paul says, Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? He says, Gods forbid! Romans 6:1-2 KJV. We are to yield ourselves as instruments of righteousness, Romans 6:13 KJV

The issue is not related to calling someone by their first name. The issue is about respect for those in authority in terms defined by God. Praying to God for the president or a dignitary who has a title, thus calling him by his first name when that would be considered disrespectful and against societal norms among the people, would also offend God, because it is God who set up those in authority who we must respect.

God is not someone we can just play games with. He is a Sovereign God. It’s just like people who say, JC, instead of Jesus Christ, which removes the honor due to Jesus and His name. They do this simply to follow other people without knowing what the Bible says about such practices. Even if they disrespect Jesus unintentionally, they still are committing a sin. Now, should a brother tell another brother about a sin, or should you tell that brother God excuses them? To say God excuses them would be wrong on your part as a servant.

As a servants of God, you should never use Romans 2:15 KJV to tell someone they are excused from a sin just because they did it unintentionally. You are to show people scripture to help address any sin to help them overcome it.

For better clarity, here is the King James Version of Romans 2:15 KJV, which you have misquoted the meaning.

It’s unfortunate you have used a scripture that you don’t understand, and yet, you have used it to offer some biblical knowledge.

To explain the scripture: Romans 2:15 KJV
1) First who did Paul take the good news under the new covenant to? Gentiles, Acts 9:15 KJV
2) Was the law prophesied to be written in our hearts under the new covenant? Yes, according to Jeremiah 31:33 KJV, which is what Romans 2:15 KJV is speaking of.
Another scripture that relates to Romans 2:15 KJV, is Hebrews 10:16 KJV, which explains that God puts His laws in our hearts under the new covenant.

The laws written in our hearts is the work of the Holy Spirit Who we receive when we come to Jesus.

Conscious bearing witness is talking about the laws written in our minds, Hebrews 8:10 KJV, and God’s Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, Romans 8:16 KJV

As we are under the Ministry of Christ, being transformed/conformed to the image of God’s Son, we are to have patience - for our growth as well as our brother and sister’s growth in the Spirit.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

I never said the pastor intentionally was disrespectful. I simply provided scripture relating to the subject, and it is the scriptures that clearly shows why the practice is disrespect to authority.

However, God’s commands are absolute, there is no getting around God’s righteous demands; that’s why Jesus died for our sins. Paul says, Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? He says, Gods forbid! Romans 6:1-2 KJV. We are to yield ourselves as instruments of righteousness, Romans 6:13 KJV

The issue is not related to calling someone by their first name. The issue is about respect for those in authority in terms defined by God. Praying to God for the president or a dignitary who has a title, thus calling him by his first name when that would be considered disrespectful and against societal norms among the people, would also offend God, because it is God who set up those in authority who we must respect.

God is not someone we can just play games with. He is a Sovereign God. It’s just like people who say, JC, instead of Jesus Christ, which removes the honor due to Jesus and His name. They do this simply to follow other people without knowing what the Bible says about such practices. Even if they disrespect Jesus unintentionally, they still are committing a sin. Now, should a brother tell another brother about a sin, or should you tell that brother God excuses them? To say God excuses them would be wrong on your part as a servant.

As a servants of God, you should never use Romans 2:15 KJV to tell someone they are excused from a sin just because they did it unintentionally. You are to show people scripture to help address any sin to help them overcome it.

For better clarity, here is the King James Version of Romans 2:15 KJV, which you have misquoted the meaning.

It’s unfortunate you have used a scripture that you don’t understand, and yet, you have used it to offer some biblical knowledge.

To explain the scripture: Romans 2:15 KJV
1) First who did Paul take the good news under the new covenant to? Gentiles, Acts 9:15 KJV
2) Was the law prophesied to be written in our hearts under the new covenant? Yes, according to Jeremiah 31:33 KJV, which is what Romans 2:15 KJV is speaking of.
Another scripture that relates to Romans 2:15 KJV, is Hebrews 10:16 KJV, which explains that God puts His laws in our hearts under the new covenant.

The laws written in our hearts is the work of the Holy Spirit Who we receive when we come to Jesus.

Conscious bearing witness is talking about the laws written in our minds, Hebrews 8:10 KJV, and God’s Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, Romans 8:16 KJV

As we are under the Ministry of Christ, being transformed/conformed to the image of God’s Son, we are to have patience - for our growth as well as our brother and sister’s growth in the Spirit.

They just said that they prayed for the president by their first name. If someone prayed for me by my first name i seee no problem. In fact we pray to the Father by JESUS's first name, and HE IS GOD. He has no problem with that. There is no scripture that supports your stance that saying someone's first name is disrespectful sorry. That is a rule you made up.

 

[biblelesson]

They just said that they prayed for the president by their first name. If someone prayed for me by my first name i seee no problem. In fact we pray to the Father by JESUS's first name, and HE IS GOD. He has no problem with that. There is no scripture that supports your stance that saying someone's first name is disrespectful sorry. That is a rule you made up.

You are not a president, nor are you a king, nor are you a dignitary, so you wouldn’t mind.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

You are not a president, nor are you a king, nor are you a dignitary, so you wouldn’t mind.

Jesus is God, and He doesn't mind.

 

[TPop]

I want to share something from the Bible a lot of Christians are not clear on.

When it comes to authority, we give the same honor that we give to God! So, to call a president, for example, by his first name is not pleasing to God.

These are the reasons:

Mark 12:17 KJV says, “And Jesus answering said unto them, Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's…”

If it would be disrespectful to stand in front of a king and call him by his first name, and even the president and call him Joe, then that is not rendering to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s: to do so is evil before God, so to pray in this manner is an abomination to God.

Romans 13:1-2 KJV
1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
2 “Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.”
7 “Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.”

Psalms 75:6-7 KJV
6 “For promotion cometh neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south.”
7 “But God is the judge: he putteth down one, and setteth up another.”

Daniel 2:21 KJV
“And he changeth the times and the seasons: he removeth kings, and setteth up kings: he giveth wisdom unto the wise, and knowledge to them that know understanding:”

Proverbs 21:1 KJV
“The king's heart is in the hand of the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.”

If the kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, and He sets them up, then we must respect the authority God Has given him. If we are to pray for kings, presidents, governors, etc, we go to God in respect for those God Has ordained to hold those positions. To call them by their first name before God is disrespect, and God is not pleased.

In the epistle of Jude, a stark warning is given, which requires some breaking down:

Jude 1:8 KJV
Likewise also these filthy dreamers defile the flesh, despise dominion, and speak evil of dignities.

What Jude is saying here is when we don’t respect God’s commands in regards to the honor due to dignitaries, we are acting out in our carnal nature, and in fact are despising them and despising God’s authority over them. To say Joe, the president is in fact speaking evil against the president because it shows no respect for the position of the President that God established, at all.

Jude 1:9 KJV
“Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.”
Even the angels had to respect Satan, although Satan was condemned by God. This is because Satan had great authority in heaven, and the angels respected that authority: the angels were obedient and simply told Satan God rebuked him, but they did not disrespect him.
Jude is letting us know of the importance of respecting those in high positions by showing how the angels dealt with Satan. This is to be our positions with all in authority, although there are some who will be judged by God.

Jude 1:10 KJV
“But these speak evil of those things which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves.”

The thing that’s not know is the authority given to dignitaries, set up by God, which is due all honor and respect, just like we are to give all honor and respect to God. To dishonor dignitaries, dishonors God and His authority. This is why Jude says this practice makes us brute beasts, and we naturally (natural corrupted self man) corrupt ourselves.

I would read the rest of Jude 1:10-12 KJV

Revelation 19:16 KJV
And he hath on his vesture and on his thigh a name written, KING OF KINGS, AND LORD OF LORDS.

Jesus is King of Kings, and Lord of Lords, so we respect the authority Jesus Has over all kings and dignitaries, and the authority Jesus Has given them.

Study, read, and pray about this, and God can raise you up to bring awareness to your church about this issue.

Romans 13:1-2 KJV
1 “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.”
2 “Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.”
7 “Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.”

Absolutely!

Peace and Blessings