I'm a Christian, and believe that gay sexual homosexual acts are a sin, it's lust out of control, not love... However, I also believe that abnormal heterosexual sexual acts, beyond the normal sexual use intended by nature, is also sin, and that it pure lust and not love... I also believe that almost everyone nowaday's sexual acts are sin... I believe that, if they're only because of primal, selfish, lustful urges only, or ego driven, which most are, especially with men, but now more women too, my opinion is that this is really what it most actually is in most cases, including being honest about my own past experiences... Most are deceived, as I was, into thinking it was because of love, but, most usually, it's really not, it's just lust...
That being said, it's all the sin of "lust"... And not real, true, "love"... Real true love to me, is loving and taking care of a mate who's very sick, paralyzed, or terminally ill... To me, these are examples of expressions of Agape Love, cause it includes serving and sacrifice, even if you have to change their diapers for life, and loving them, under these conditions, and never, hurting, mistreating or abusing them, but loving them in these kinds of conditions down to the very end, even if or when they get temper-mental, is one of the highest forms of love to me... No sexual acts can compare to this, their totally different...
That being said, Two years ago, I had to go live with my 89 year old grandfather, and, one of my older cousins, who was gay, and had mental health issues that he wouldn't acknowledge or get or seek help for, anyways, I went to go stay with him/them, and three days after I did, my grandpa fell and had to go to the hospital and broke his hip, they had to do surgery, even though they didn't want to cause they didn't think he could handle another surgery at his age and with his health problems at his age, and it turned out he couldn't...
Anyways, After about a month in the hospital, trying to rehabilitate him, which wasn't going well, he wanted to die at home, and everyone knew that, so, he got sent back home, where I and my homosexual cousin was staying, and had to be on hospice till three months later, when he died... Me, my cousin, and one of my aunts who used to be a nurse had to take care of him till he died, feed him, change him, wash him, the whole bit... Going through that and dealing with my very unstable emotionally gay cousin, taught me a lot, about love, and love for homosexual's...
That was about a year or more ago... My cousin and I had developed a relationship with each other during that time, and it wasn't easy for me with my belief's... But, I learned how to have compassion for him and even did my best to help him and advise him, not about being gay, but with his unstable emotions and, well, basically dealing with life, issues... We even would hug each other, and I'm not gay... It taught me a lot...
About a year to six month's ago, I wound up homeless and was staying at a local mission, I now have my own apartment... But, while I was staying there, there came along this gay guy, who couldn't hide it, nor tried to anyway, cause his voice gave him away... Anyways, he would try to talk to people, and nobody would talk to or with him, or the ones that would, would make and poke fun at him and crack jokes... I don't ever do that, but, I felt sorry for him... So, when he came up to me and tried talking to me, I talked with him like he was just another person and didn't treat him any different or crack jokes either...
We became friends... I tried to advise and help him with life issues and emotions just like I had done prior with my cousin... I treated him like a little brother who was gay...
But, as time went on, he did a few things that I thought was inappropriate to do, and, I wrote him this letter:
"What's this I hear about you about to get 86'ed from this place for "abuse of services" calling the ambulance unnecessarily too many times? There could be some truth to that... You could be a bit of a hypochondriac, and possibly a drug seeker too, like they are thinking you are... I think it's for the attention you seek and seem to need in your life... You could be blowing-up or over-exaggerating your problems just to get the kind of attention you want and seem to "need"... Like a woman..."
"I'm not trying to be mean, and, I'm not saying this cause your a homosexual either, male or female, gay or straight, doesn't matter... It's just that, I've met your type before... Why does your type seem to require so damn much attention...? I'm betting your not very good or fine on your own, or alone, are you...? I'm trying to "help" you... I've tried to get you to be more responsible, grown-up, and mature... I've tried and am trying to, light a fire under your butt with this in mind... You need to get more serious in life and in looking out for and taking care of number one in your life, and, stop expecting or wanting everyone else to feel for you or with you... Because, in the end, in your situation especially, they just "won't", so, stop expecting them too..."
"You have an income, most people here do not... You could take care of your own self and get your own self set-up in life if you really wanted to, and got serious about it, which I've been trying to get you to do... Another thing, male or female, gay or straight, most people, especially most heterosexual men, like myself, have a "bubble" of personal space around them, that they don't like violated, without inviting someone into it... It's an unsaid boundary and line with most people that shouldn't be crossed... Yet, you, and those like you do not respect that and it needs to be respected..."
"Other, many other, unsaid lines of personal boundaries that many people have, myself included, are "crossed" and not respected by people like you and your kind that really do need to be respected and thought of, and considered by people like you and your kind... Another thing; you and those like you are "unstable"... Your really "up" and "high" and very happy one moment, then, in the next, your very "down" and "low" and despondent and depressed in the next, like a roller-coaster ride...? Don't you get tired of that? I know many heterosexual men, like me, definitely do... Reminds me of my ex-wife... Men are supposed to be more stable, grown-up, and mature in this way, in my view and opinion of what a man is anyway... Different than say, most women, or "feminine dominant" people, instead of "masculine dominant" people, like myself, are..."
"I don't like unstable people... They freak me out sometimes, I think they're dangerous... And, I don't like the roller-coaster ride...? Do you...? You need to "slap yourself", wake-up and start being more grown-up, mature, and responsible and stop craving or needing attention so much, or else I fear what will happen to you and you should as well..."
I'm not saying this to be mean, but to help you... I say it cause I care... I hope you can see that...? It's time to "wake-up"...
God Bless!
He didn't talk to me and avoided me for a couple days, and he seemed to step a little more lightly around me after that when he did... He was only there for about a month and a half, then he went to a different town...
I wrote him another letter when he did something I thought was inappropriate and not respecting people's boundaries and I'll share that one too if you want me too...
But for now, cause I don't want to type more right now, there's this one...
God Bless!
