Hi, Brinny
It is good to see you; God bless you
I believe the unforgivable sin has to do with how the evil people were claiming that the works of Jesus were not being done by the Holy Spirit, but by Satan's kingdom. Included in their such horrible and hateful and blasphemous stuff like that was how they loved money and the praise of humans. Also, they did not want Jesus to forgive people; so at the root of their blasphemy was unforgiveness, included.
Unforgiveness can keep a person from being forgiven > Mark 11:25.
So, I consider that blaspheming the Holy Spirit could be connected with love of money and unforgiveness and loving the praise of humans more than the approval of God.
Now . . . yes - - there are people who say that the real unforgivable sin is refusing the Holy Spirit to the point when the person dies without Jesus. Well, this, too, is refusing forgiveness, even if the person has not spoken in plain words against the Holy Spirit. And possibly the person who refuses Christ has been judging about who can be forgiven and who is not worth loving and forgiving. But love "hopes all things", we have in 1 Corinthians 13:7. The Holy Spirit has us having hope for any and all people, I consider from this scripture, Brinny.
So, included in Judas' problem, I would say, was he was not having hope and caring for any and all people. So, whether he in plain words spoke against the Holy Spirit or not, Brinny, he was against the Holy Spirit, by his nature. And our Apostle Paul says "we all" "were by nature children of wrath, just as the others," in Ephesians 2:1-3. So, the problem was not just if he did an actual blasphemy-speaking thing against the Holy Spirit, but how he was in his evil and selfish nature which could make him able to do that. Even if he did not, still he was of such a Satanic nature.
But even though we are children of God and we feel we would never speak against the Holy Spirit > still, there are things which we can get into, and which do grieve Him > our Apostle Paul does say >
"And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." (Ephesians 4:30)
And in the next verse Paul gives a list of things which I understand can grieve the Holy Spirit, even if we do not actually blaspheme Him with words >
"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice." (Ephesians 4:31)
And in the next verse, we have how the Holy Spirit will have us relating, instead . . . in God's own love >
"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)
So, the Holy Spirit in us has us lovingly, tenderheartedly, forgiving one another - - - "even as God". So, it is good to not only be worrying about if we have blasphemed the Holy Spirit, but be busy with how the Holy Spirit has us lovingly forgiving, "even as God"
The way our Father forgave us was not only that He gave us a clear record, but also He lovingly adopted us and is now sharing His very own love with us, "in our hearts" (Romans 5:5). So, we need to not only avoid speaking badly against His Holy Spirit, but also avoid being unforgiving, and instead be loving and tenderly caring for the ones we forgive, the way the Holy Spirit has us relating affectionately as family in Jesus