The thing about online dating?

[Messy]

I seriously tried online dating for several months this past winter and spring. I'm not going to question their accuracy or anything, I was usually appealed by the matches that I received from both eHarmony and Match, but in my experience it is easier to find someone in real life. Also, in my own experience, the majority, not all, of people on online dating are usually there because they cannot find a date either because their expectations are too high or some other reason (too busy or somehow undateable).

People my age who are there are mostly divorced after 20 years. Where can you meet people if you're not in a big church? The rest of the people you meet is almost always married or not saved.

 

[SnowyMacie]

People my age who are there are mostly divorced after 20 years. Where can you meet people if you're not in a big church? The rest of the people you meet is almost always married or not saved.

Coffee shops, restaurants, parties, your kids' events, stores, the street, work, the bank (I have a friend who met is wife at the bank), etc.

 

[Messy]

Coffee shops, restaurants, parties, your kids' events, stores, the street, work, the bank (I have a friend who met is wife at the bank), etc.

Almost noone is christian here.

 

[Tess]

I tried a couple back in the winter, but I only had it for like three days, I just felt embarrassed by the whole thing and I realised I would probably be too chicken to go meet anyone, haha.

That said, I think for some people they work really well. I mean, logically, it's a pretty good way to see a wide range of people and see whether you're compatible.

 

[ReesePiece23]

the bank

"Hi. I'd like to make a withdrawal..."

*Music starts.*

But no, on a serious note. I'm sure you can sift through the crap to find the nuggets. Normal people DO use these sites. My mother met her husband on POF in 2008 - so it can work for some.

 

[sundewgrower]

I've noticed this a lot with my region on OKCupid and such. You have a lot of women who got pregnant at a young age and for whatever reason they're single moms. I regret to say I'm not very trusting of these women, even though they say they work hard to support their kid(s), it sometimes feels like they're looking for a sugar daddy.

I see a plethora of them in Hawaii since culturally you just sleep around, and then eventually they'll decide to have a kid without marrying.
My sister's 18 year old friend at church is having a kid and the BF doesn't know if he wants to be involved.
Happens so much. Only way I'd EVER consider it is if the circumstances were very specific, and even then I'd probably not since I'm only 23.

I'm not sure with it anymore. I just relaunched my profile and have been getting hits. All from the Philippines since I'm in Hawai'i and a few elsewhere on a profile or two I saw. Nothing wrong with them, they're just really into marriage, are usually set back due to their country, are far away, and biased on moving here to the US. Since I'm moving to Texas, I want a casual friend I can help out.. Maybe give advice about US dating culture, pray with them about finding a good spouse, and eventually wish them good luck when I begin to move then become busy..

 

[Messy]

I see a plethora of them in Hawaii since culturally you just sleep around, and then eventually they'll decide to have a kid without marrying.
My sister's 18 year old friend at church is having a kid and the BF doesn't know if he wants to be involved.
Happens so much. Only way I'd EVER consider it is if the circumstances were very specific, and even then I'd probably not since I'm only 23.

I'm not sure with it anymore. I just relaunched my profile and have been getting hits. All from the Philippines since I'm in Hawai'i and a few elsewhere on a profile or two I saw. Nothing wrong with them, they're just really into marriage, are usually set back due to their country, are far away, and biased on moving here to the US. Since I'm moving to Texas, I want a casual friend I can help out.. Maybe give advice about US dating culture, pray with them about finding a good spouse, and eventually wish them good luck when I begin to move then become busy..

Sooo. Maybe. I'll message somebody who's into a friend, and wants some cultural experience. That'd be good since I'm down (had one online friend for 8 months from OKC) to one friend in Hawaii that's usually busy and he's off to the navy soon. Plus I have this higher end Skype crap I'd like to either sell or use. Trying to get rid of old memories

On the international site I visited for a while all I got were Nigerian scammers and men from the USA were complaining about female scammers from the Philippines.
Watch out. They first say you're so fantastic, sweet words blablabla and then they come with a sad story and need money.
http://retiringtothephilippines.com/guide/about-the-philippines/philippine-dating-scams/

 

[SnowyMacie]

But no, on a serious note. I'm sure you can sift through the crap to find the nuggets. Normal people DO use these sites. My mother met her husband on POF in 2008 - so it can work for some.

They definitely do use the site, but I've had more success IRL than online dating.

 

[MiniEmu]

I know online dating gets all the bad reviews, but everything people complain about can be found away from it too.

Once in a while I'll reactive my OKC profile (does anyone remember when it had loads, and loads, of quizzes? They were brilliant), then remember that means an inbox full of copy pasta, and many young gentlemen hoping for some milk in exchange for charm .

None of that is too dissimilar to the lines used elsewhere in this great wide world. It's just when it's presented as text you have more time to think about it, which is not always a good thing.

 

[sundewgrower]

On the international site I visited for a while all I got were Nigerian scammers and men from the USA were complaining about female scammers from the Philippines.
Watch out. They first say you're so fantastic, sweet words blablabla and then they come with a sad story and need money.
http://retiringtothephilippines.com/guide/about-the-philippines/philippine-dating-scams/

I definitely won't consider it. I might have a perspective that's more understanding and conducive but I won't do that since there is such a massive gap in the social economic status between the places. Other countries where the wages aren't so sharply contrasted would interest me. But as it stands I'd rather invest into a girl that's in my city when I move, than distance, and hoping it'll work.

I've lived in Filipino sugar cane camps before that were made in the old times when we had sugar cane fields and trucks with areas where the workers were housed. I know all too well how they can act once they move here compared to how they are online. When making less than $600 a month, the logistics of living in the US, or emotionally enslaving somebody with money becomes an enticing concept..

Now some are very nice, usually Mormons though. Others aren't as nice and have a clucky bantam rooster like attitude. My brothers know several insults in Filipino since they were given several names when they played with the kids in the camp.

 

[sundewgrower]

Holy cow. I've heard some stories but that's pretty bad there.

 

[CCHIPSS]

The thing I dislike about online dating is how is it so impersonal and does not show the real you. What person can write their life in a few words. If you do not have a good job or make a lot of money women will pass over you.
I feel like it would easier to find someone in person and you don't have to pay to message someone who you met in real life.

Well it is a online profile that you can take you sweet time to write. And you can pick the best 8 picture from 1000s. So most likely the online profile represents a better version of the real you.

I have a very hard time meeting church ladies in real life. I do make an effort to meet them but for whatever reason the church ladies I met in real life lose interest in me very quickly. The "next time" I walk up to say hi, they just say hi and then walk away to talk with someone else. It seems they cannot wait to "get away" from me. So they rarely are even interested in being anything more than a "hi friend". So never mind any potential relationships.

I met my ex online. So it works for me. But I am biased because I had such terrible luck and result with face-to-face meetings.

I read that 33% of the wedding couples met first online. So it isn't all the strange anymore. So I say go ahead with online dating. =)

 

[sundewgrower]

I'm crafting a profile up slowly. I'd just like a friend though but usually good friends always lead to more confusing times.

 

[Goodbook]

Hmm. I try and think of all the places Ive met guys Ive gone out with.

On a backpacking tour in my own country, same bus
Backpacking in another country, same guesthouse
At the theatre, i was ushering
At work, a workmate..but that was friendly date not serious, obviously
At home(!) he had come to fix the bathroom, and asked me out, I couldnt really say no, was put on the spot
Through a friend at school, it was her old bf
In the park...(but he seemed kinda dodgy so I stood him up)
At a dorm room..this guy came to fix my laptop


I have never just met someone at a party, coffeeshop, restaurant, the street.
And the last place, Ive never met anyone in church. Lots of girlfriends, but no boyfriends.

Ive never gone anywhere with the intention of, im gonna meet someone. it just happens.

 

[sundewgrower]

Hmm. I try and think of all the places Ive met guys Ive gone out with.

On a backpacking tour in my own country, same bus
Backpacking in another country, same guesthouse
At the theatre, i was ushering
At work, a workmate..but that was friendly date not serious, obviously
At home(!) he had come to fix the bathroom, and asked me out, I couldnt really say no, was put on the spot
Through a friend at school, it was her old bf
In the park...(but he seemed kinda dodgy so I stood him up)
At a dorm room..this guy came to fix my laptop


I have never just met someone at a party, coffeeshop, restaurant, the street.
And the last place, Ive never met anyone in church. Lots of girlfriends, but no boyfriends.

Ive never gone anywhere with the intention of, im gonna meet someone. it just happens.

Sometimes you're faced with the fact few singles are around like in Hawai'ii.
But when I move I hope to have a life, and more or less do what you've done to randomly meet people without knowing it.

 

[KitKatMatt]

I feel more comfortable talking to people online than in real life (unless I already know them), so I find online dating suits me well. I like the extra level of protection just in case someone turns out to be really creepy, in that they don't know what car I drive or what places I like to frequent.

As far as what they have on their profile, I mainly just look for red flags in their profiles and answers. Anything that hints to someone being controlling, manipulative, or abusive makes me run to the hills. If they make it clear that they don't like certain things that I have a big interest in, I'll leave them alone as well because that wouldn't be worth it for either of us.

Otherwise, I am open to talking to just about any guy on there. I met a really cool friend this way and I'm hoping to meet more. Online dating isn't for everyone, for sure, but it's not all bad.

 

[MehGuy]

The dating sites I use usually have people naked in their profile picture.

Turns me off, but what can I do? Lol.

 

[sundewgrower]

The dating sites I use usually have people naked in their profile picture.

Turns me off, but what can I do? Lol.

Ha-ha!
OKC is fine from what I've seen but I've filtered by match %.
I'd run for the hills if they aren't modest since I see otherwise as bad news.

 

[MehGuy]

Ha-ha!
OKC is fine from what I've seen but I've filtered by match %.
I'd run for the hills if they aren't modest since I see otherwise as bad news.

I hate okcupid.

I just use that site to see who likes me. And test what works, and what doesn't lol.

 

[sundewgrower]

I hate okcupid.

I just use that site to see who likes me. And test what works, and what doesn't lol.

What do you use?
Why do you hate OKC?
Share me your wisdom