There's some truth to this. For example, I know someone who was turned down for a ministry position after he conceived his child with a new partner before his divorce from his first wife. I think that was appropriate.
What concerns me is that petty or normal or healthy behaviours by children might be judged "insubordinate" or "failures" when that is very far from showing the same kind of issues of character.
And on her way to live apart from her parents. Maybe not quite technically an adult, but also a situation where a bit more independence would be normal and healthy.
I'm not vilifying them. I'm looking at the situation you presented and asking, Is this good practice? Is this fair to the parties involved? Does it offer adequate protection from bullying and abuse? Is it going to be healthy for the children or parents in this situation?
And my answers are no, no, no and no. This particular family might be happy with their outcome; great for them. This is not a model I would want to see adopted more widely.
It leaves me with questions like, say my autistic child has a meltdown at a parish event. Is that judged as "insubordination"? Am I then seen as an unfit parent? Are people going to demand that I step down until... what, she's not autistic any more? I can guarantee she won't melt down? Or what?
It's too subjective, too open to power plays by lay church leaders, leaves ministry families needing to perform for the church (exactly one of the things we want to minimise for our children, thank you
@seeking.IAM for pointing out just how harmful that can be), and leaves them vulnerable to every whacky idea about parenting out there.
If - and that's a very big if - we wanted to set some sort of standard of good parenting as a condition of ongoing ministry, I would want to see some very robust safeguards, along the lines of something like a clinical recommendation from practicing professional therapists that this person is an unfit parent who is harming their child, being a prerequisite of being stood down.
Then why on earth did you raise this as an example of the situation you wanted to consider in the OP, where "the leader must step down"? Or say, in your post #11, "he Christian leaders there took the scripture very seriously and would not allow a brother to continue in Christian leadership with a child in rebellion"?
Lots of people, especially in churches, engage in controlling and abusive behaviours and call it love.