Young Marriages

[SarahAblaze06]

well whaaahooo!!! ok remember holy attitudes! if that entails discussion then thats great! go for it, but don't do it in an unwise/undiplomatic way. hmm *hoping this doesnt sound condescending*

i think there are people getting married at all ages, yes in the christian world there is alot of pressure to get married... there are many reasons for it, and yes, in many churches it's harder to be single than married in the eyes of people sometimes. they often question your interity more and you spiritual state. i am very aware of this cuz my mom's sorta in this situation and it has taken a long time for some people to warm to her, probly longer than if she was married. maybe its just that alot of people hang with others who they have things in common with and that is totaly understandable. personally i would love to get married young!! you'd hAve more of the journey with that persona dn there are pivotal moments especially in your younger years that having someone there to go thru them with would make it funner. who knows. i dont know why i have that deep desire inside me, maybe its that ive seen my mom go thru being single, in her own eyes and most of all the eyes of other people, and i so want to be with someone at a younger age. for me i think it means security and having someone to be with and be there for. to love and be loved by... teh whole idea of marriage is so beautiful to me. lalala and i justkeep talking LOLl... maybe i'll post more lata

 

[Sascha Fitzpatrick]

At our church this year we have 9 couples who have or are just about to get married - the youngest were 21 and 20, and the oldest are very early 30s. The average age of those getting married were about 23/24, and the early 30s ones were feeling VERY old during the 'engagement period' that was being experienced by the church...

I have no doubts that these couples will succeed, because you could see during their discussions with mutual friends that they had thought seriously about the relationship and marriage as whole - none of them were doing it just so they could have sex - as most of them said, if that was the defining reason to get wed - what would we wait??

The only hassle with all these young marriages as we call them, is the fact that there is some unspoken pressure on people like me, who are in that age range and dating someone, to discuss things like marriage, when frankly, neither of us (or the others that are dating) are ready for that yet... it's not that we don't want to, but because we have some plans we want to fulfill before we settle down and make a commitment as big as that...

That's my only 'beef' with the young marriages - they do put a mindset in the church that puts pressure on the rest of us couples!!!

Sasch

 

[kayanne]

Like I said before...I will say it AGAIN...I never said God looked at our premarital sex as a good thing. Our relationship as a whole did and still does have God as the ruler. Yes, we fell short and had sex MANY, MANY times before we were married. That matter has been forgiven along time ago. What matters the most is that we had and still have a relationship of commitment to only each other with God as our ruler.

in your original post you said nothing about realizing the premarital sex was a sin, or that you had asked forgiveness for it. when i first read that original post, it did come across sounding like you still considered the premarital sex ok and in keeping with having God as the ruler of your relationship.

We have two teenage daughters...14 and 15...We have told them that they should wait for sex before they get married. We have told them that it is something that God desires us to do..I was never told that it went against God...just that it was wrong. Our daughters have been pointed to scriptures pointing out that fact.

amen! glad to hear you are giving them the right reasons to do the right thing. i've told many young girls that they cannot expect God to bless their relationship with a guy if they willingly conduct that relationship in a sinful way.

Paul said to help fellow Christians in need of help...not to condemn and try to take over the attitude that you do no wrong. God is the one who judges what is right or wrong...not my fellow Christian brothers or sisters. If I need guidance from a fellow christian...my husband is in the living room and my communication line with God is wide open with God each and every day.

sorry, i gotta stick up with cutekid on this one. cutekid was very clear that she struggled with the very same sin in earlier years. she also pointed out that it is indeed scriptural for christians to hold other christians to God's standards. like her, i was concerned based on your original post that you were publically stating that, because you were already committed to each other, then the sex was ok and God was ruler in the relationship. after reading your subsequent posts, it sounds like you didn't mean to imply that, but cutekid wanted to be sure anybody reading this thread got the message that premarital sex is not part of God truly ruling the relationship. it's easy to step out of God's will and do what the flesh desires, but if a couple is regularly, intentionally, unrepentantly having sex, their relationship is being ruled by themselves and not God.

Lastly, our premarital relations happed almost 17 years ago...why would I need you to point out that it is wrong?

as i said above, because it wasn't clear in your first post that you thought it was wrong. this generation needs to hear it loud and clear: sex outside of marriage is a sin against God.

I have a very happy and healthy marriage...OBVIOUSLY, the pre marital sex didnt harm the relationship...

i am glad to hear that your marriage is strong, but i don't think it's consistent with scripture to say that any sin we commit is without negative consequence. we may never know in our lifetime what effects our sins have in our own lives and others. i'm not saying you should beat yourself up forever over a sin, but i would never dare to say to God or anyone else that my sin did no harm.

I'm not concerning myself today, what I did 17 years ago...Today, I'll concern myself with what I do today.

the only reason cutekid (and I) are giving any thought to what you did 17 years ago was because you brought it up in the first place. i just wanted to give cutekid some support in her defense, and let you know that your first post did sound nonchalant about the sin. it's more about what you said in your first post than what you did 17 years ago.

Thanks for your interest in my personal life though!
Have a great, God filled day!

sarcasm noted.
i think anyone on a public message board can expect to have others involved in their "personal lives" when details are being shared. i never detected any judgementalness in cutekid, just good biblical viewpoint.
can we just be nice and helpful now?