A man dies. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter says: "Heres how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things youve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"Thats wonderful," says St. Peter, "thats worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "Thats certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!! I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, thats good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!?!!" Exasperated, the man cries, "At this rate itll just be by the grace of God that I ever get into heaven."
"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"
St. Peter says: "Heres how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things youve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"Thats wonderful," says St. Peter, "thats worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "Thats certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!! I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, thats good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!?!!" Exasperated, the man cries, "At this rate itll just be by the grace of God that I ever get into heaven."
"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"