Yet another masturbation thread..

[kraftwerk]

What a strange way to start my time here at this forum, but I'm currently struggling with, you guessed it.. I've read all the relevant passages in the Bible concerning the topic (I think), but I still don't know where to go:

From what I gather, Onan & his little tale has nothing to do with masturbation, so we can scratch that off the list off the bat..

There's also the passage in the Old Testament concerning seminal emissions and such, and washing your garments, etc etc.. I'm sorry for not having the right citations, but anywho..

I'm a 25 year old dude who basically has no chance ever being with a woman (due to being extremely ugly and financially destitute) yet I still have the urge (very rarely mind you! my sex drive is quite low for a youngish man, especially since finding God.) I haven't masturbated in quite awhile, and feel like I'm going to explode.. no, not literally.. but, the sexual urge can sometimes be very powerful, and I don't want to sin. The Bible says that God is a hateful God, and I really don't want Him to hate me any more than possible. I'm sure He hates me enough.

Now, my dilemma.. from what I garner, the problem with masturbation (at least in men) is that it always involves lustful thoughts about women, not really in the act itself (so-called onanism). And as Christ said, if you commit adultery of the heart, you're pretty much the same as a john picking up prostitutes from the Redlight District.

I just don't know what to do. I've thought about everything from masturbating to imaginary women, to tasteful nudes, to cartoons (hentai specifically).. but it's all lustful thoughts. There seems to be no outlet.

Perhaps self-castration is the answer? LOL J/K. I have no idea. Any help & prayers?

 

[Katarinea]

Hi, Kraft! It's probably a little awkward to see a post from a girl, but I promise it won't be (well, too much, anyway).

The problem with masturbation is, indeed, lust; and not just for guys, but for girls too. No sin is gender-specific! I understand completely how you feel about being ready to explode because of the strength of the urge. I used to be addicted to phone sex, and I just had to have it sometimes. I've recovered from that, but I find that when the urge for something along those lines comes up, it's best to either focus on God, or put myself in a situation where it's impossible for me to give in. I don't have any specific advice, because my old addiction was slightly different, but I can promise that if you ask God for help and spend time with Him in prayer and His Word, you'll see mountains of change!

And I promise you that if God has a wife for you, she'll love you no matter what -- ugly is a viewpoint thing, and money is. . .well, money: it's useful but not necessary. My boyfriend considers me beautiful, even though I'm not, and he loves me even though he knows he'll be getting debt if he marries me!

I'm not sure where you're getting this about God being hateful -- He is wrathful towards sin, but He is also just, infinitely loving, and kind; if you're saved, then all your sins are forgiven! This doesn't give you a license to sin, but it's very comforting, especially in tough situations. And sin, while it does make God angry, also saddens Him. . .I've always found disappointing those who love me is a better motivator than anger. To think about God, who loves me infinitely much, being sad because I went back to how I used to be is a sobering thought.

I'll try to remember to pray for you (that sounds worse than it is); hopefully my faulty memory will not go kaputz! God bless -- and if you ever need to talk to anybody, just shoot me a message or something!

 

[F.S.K.]

I'll offer what advice I can-I'm no genius, but hopefully I'll be able to give you something useful.

First off, God is capable of more than one emotion. Meaning that, yeah, though He has the capacity to hate, He has just as much of a capacity to love, and as His children, He certainly does love us. Sometimes I get the same idea of Him in my head too, an image of God as a "Volcano God" that's going to strike me down with lightning if I step out of line. But it's not so. If you can get your hands on anything by C.S. Lewis, He depicts and explains God's love ever so eloquently and brilliantly.

Anyway, on what you posted about-there's never gonna be a one-time fix. (I totally wish there was.) Temptation's going to happen, the only thing to do about it is to choose how to respond one way or another. And as rational as it seems to indulge the urge in the hopes that it'll just go away, I speak from experience that it only does the exact opposite. No matter what 'outlet' you choose through masturbation, in the end, it's a (really rather annoying) self-perpetuating cycle.

So the only real way out is getting closer to God. Corny, I know. But it's the only thing that really works, building a better relationship with Him. Sure, there are all sorts of various methods to trying to quit-giving rewards for milestones, taking away things when failures happen, none of which are bad in and of themselves, just insufficient. The only real solution is to follow God. Not saying that it's all going to be easy sailing, but drawing near to Him in prayer, worship and the like is the only way to overcome any temptation for any substantial duration of time.

IMHO, I'd recommend visiting the awesome people over at Setting Captives Free. I went through one of their courses, and it was truly one of the most insightful experiences I've had. I'll be praying for you, I know victory isn't easy, but it's possible.

Also, if I might ask, what anime is the character in your avatar from? Or did you draw that yourself? (If so, major props. And if not, still, props for anime. )

 

[Johnnz]

The Bible says that God is a hateful God, and I really don't want Him to hate me any more than possible. I'm sure He hates me enough.

That is a very wrong view of God. You won't work through to any healthy attitudes and values with such a distorted set of beliefs about your Father.

That verse in Matthew is probably one of the most misunderstood and badly misused scriptures, consigning too many to cycles of despair, guilt and disgust. PM me if you want another insight into what those verses probably do mean and I will send some further exposition of them to you.

John
NZ

 

[sphsjags]

I went 14 months and 10 days without masturbating, between senior year of high school and freshman year of college. The reason I started again is because I had proved to others, and myself that I can do without it. Why I started again, I don't know. The only side effect of stopping was a wet dream on the 14th of every month, like clockwork. You can stop. I believe in you.