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Xbox... Use wisely, or will this only bring evil into our home?

GraceLoveHope

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I was initially a little upset to learn that my husband had bought an Xbox... not so much that he brought it into our home, but that he'd made such a large purchase without consulting me!

I was also worried about the distraction from our family. We are newlyweds, expecting our first baby in 2 months, and we have plenty of friends who turn away from thier families to play video games. These men have strained relationships with their wives and children. We also know families where the older children play video games for many hours a day. These families also have strained relationships, and the children addicted to these games are not being raised to love God, only video games.

After talking about this, my husband wished to return it right away. I also had a change of heart... after all, winter is very cold where we live, it is a rural area, and we have trouble finding fun things to do together during our long, snowy winter. Building a snowman in 8 degrees is only fun so many times. We will spend most of this summer holed up with a newborn baby, and when he's old enough to go out, it will be winter again. I asked, "maybe this is something that we can use together?" After all, technology is like money, not inherantly evil, but something that needs to be used with care. We do enjoy watching family sitcoms together on our cable box, and it seems like everyone here likes their internet alright.

Now, I can't see our family becoming like the others we know. By the time our son is old enough to play, Xbox will be a thing of the past. My husband doesn't play video games often at all, and we both easily agree that very violent games will not come through our doors ever. I have always been fairly conservative with technology, and my husband has adopted my minimalist life without much complaint. He's been a good sport, and works hard, and it just seems fair for him to have something that he has wanted for such a long time. We only have one television, and neither of us carries a cell phone. We're the only 20-somethings I know with a landline phone!

However, we were both disappointed with the lack of 2 player games at the video game store (one player racing games? REALLY?). We were surprised that the console only came with one controller... thought video games were a social thing like they were when we were young? I'm not naive, but was still shocked to see how inappropriate some of the games are (a busty girl in a cheerleader outfit on a killing spree with a chainsaw? a mentally ill teddy bear that can't stop killing all the other stuffed animals?!?). Then again, we could slide something equally evil into our DVD player, but don't.

We did have fun playing the clean two person game we picked up... reminded us of the board games that we play so often. But we are both equally on the fence about if this thing should stay or go back to the store. We're worried that if using it in a manner becoming of a young Christian family, it might just sit there and collect dust. And it was very expensive.

How do you feel about the Xbox? Do you have one? Would you?
 

Barricade24

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I do indeed have an X-box. If you are looking for more social games I might recommend Minecraft. I would have to check if it has the peaceful setting or not. But if it does you can play it without any of the creatures/violence. This game mainly focuses on creativity, which is a very good thing. I know it has a multiplayer feature so you and your husband can both play it at the same time.

I can agree that some games, (like Lolipop Chainsaw you mentioned) are definietly things I would not want my kids seeing (if I had any). So my suggestion is that maybe you should place a duration on how long your kids play (if that is a factor at all). Minecraft would be my top suggestion. It is remarkable all the things you can create in it.

If you want, I can look into any E rated games that have multiplayer that you might enjoy. I am sure there are some out there.
 
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HIS Geeky Girl

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If it's a gaming console you want, I'd return it and get a Wii. Wii is designed for multiple players, and has TONS of fun, clean, family-friendly games. It also gets you off your butt and moving around with some of the more sporty or adventurous games. Of course, there's the Kinect option with the X-Box, but you mentioned that you're watching your finances, and the Wii is old enough that you can find them used for a much cheaper price.

There are also a TON of family-friendly PC games. You really don't even need a gaming console at all these days, unless you just want one. Also lots of clean, G-rated online multi-player games like Minecraft and Roblox, you just need to do a little research and find them.

Nothing wrong with owning an X-Box as long as you communicate clearly about expectations and limits about games and play times, and it sounds like you two have got that down already. Just go to Amazon and do a search for X-Box games, then filter them by rating to find appropriate stuff :)
 
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GraceLoveHope

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Thanks for the reply. Since our son is due in March, we have a very long time before we have to worry about parental controls. We don't watch violent movies or play inappropriate video games because we feel it is not conducive to our own walk.

I am interested to know how you set boundaries with gaming, and how it has been a blessing or hindrance in your own relationships?
 
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GraceLoveHope

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I, too, probably would have picked a Wii for its more family-friendly approach. However, the Wii is kind of girly, and a little lacking in the kind of sports games that he likes to play. He has talked about returning it for a Wii, but I would like to see him have something that he can play with his guy friends with, too.
 
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HIS Geeky Girl

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I don't have any set-in-stone boundaries for my own gaming. I'm not a natural couch potato, so sitting still for hours on end does NOT appeal to me. Even when I'm playing WoW (not really family-friendly, but I love it lol), I get twitchy and restless if I sit there too long, so I get up and take a break and do something else for a while. It hasn't been a hindrance on my relationships, because I'm not isolated while playing (keeping the game in a public area is a great idea to monitor usage at first), and I don't favor the game over time with family. I'd much rather be out doing something with my fam than sitting home playing WoW :)

I guess you need to look at each player's personality and tendencies. If they seem prone to game addiction, nip it in the bud immediately. If someone has trouble getting off the games, if they stay up late or get up early to play, if they get irritable when they can't play or when you interrupt them, if they're playing the games instead of doing chores or participating in family activities... all those are warning signs.

Communication is the key! Agreeing on the time limits, the types of games allowed in the home, etc... and holding each other accountable if someone starts slipping... are most important.
 
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HIS Geeky Girl

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I, too, probably would have picked a Wii for its more family-friendly approach. However, the Wii is kind of girly, and a little lacking in the kind of sports games that he likes to play. He has talked about returning it for a Wii, but I would like to see him have something that he can play with his guy friends with, too.

I can't believe you just called my Wii "girly"!!! :p
 
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BFine

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You may not like this but I advise that you return the XBOX and get
your money back while you can.

Don't create a hardship or change set rules about consulting your spouse
before making a large purchase.

Is this a good thing?
Such a large purchase was made without your knowledge and you can't
comfortably afford the XBOX and those games...at this time.
You have a new baby coming and that usually means one of you won't be working
outside the home for awhile.
Your situation seems pretty "tight" financially.

If you want fun games to play together I suggest Word Thief, Scrabble,
Settlers of Catan etc. We picked up a few PC games like: Create,
Scrabble, Bejeweled 2 on clearance for less than ten dollars. I also
have some other PC games too.

If it is a help to you, I can send you some games for your PC for free,
let me know if this is something you would like?
 
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L

Life2Christ

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I'm notoriously anti-video games for grown men over 20 years of age. My ex-husband used to play Xbox until 3 in the morning because he would play with the headphones and challenge different people. It helped drive a wedge between us. I used to go to bed alone. On Saturday mornings, I'd get up early to do laundry and stuff so we could spend the day together but he would be hung over from Xbox. He would get up in the afternoon.

I would NEVER marry a man who played video games. EVER. My co-worker's husband (who is 40 something) plays Xbox in the basement and she has no problem with it. But it has to do with your own personal boundaries.

I would also like to add that, spending time in prayer is so important in the Christian life. Its so easy to get distracted and so easy NOT to find the time to be alone with God.
 
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I have my own personal views or perceptions about my Xbox 360 videogame console, and how is this billion dollar industry is able to show all the thrills of our human positive emotions from fans all over the world, who want to experience the thrilling moment of being a super-winning hero - without fear, without misery, without depression, and how our thrill-positive thinking and feeling minds are much-needed in difficult challenging circumstances in the real world, especially when it comes to avoiding stress at work, home or school.:
I always think about the wonderful and ultimate gadgets and devices in our future-coming community-built, free city accommodation: the kingdom of God where such videogame console might exist, and where videogames could be made towards infinite levels of a never-ending number of Earth-like worlds where weird-looking plants and animals never stop to amaze our eyes and ears besides our other senses such as touch when feeling the vibration in the control pad.:
I very much doubt there would be any violence - after watching the scifi movie Avatar - I believe Jesus will equip our future-transformed minds to be focused towards Earth-like planets too numerous to count as we will travel and discover the weird wonders of our alien planets, plants and animals, as if we are space-travelling biologists.;*;.
Currently playing Lost Planet 2 sometimes, as most of the time it's watching the TV news besides work and relaxation in the lounge .;*;.

:liturgy:
 
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Scott1979

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I would keep it and talk with your husband about running through a test phase with it so to speak. I've talked to people who are having relationship issues due to video gaming. It always starts out with good intentions, a few hours here and no more. Then the amount of time spent playing video games starts to increase. If your husband understands that his responsibility is to God, you, and your coming baby then let him keep it and have his fun. I would talk to him though and make an agreement with him that if he starts to play to much then it's time for it to go.
 
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HIS Geeky Girl

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Agreed - you need to discuss and lay down the rules BEFORE the gaming begins. Agree to hold each other accountable, so it's not just one person coming down hard on the other. Keep the original agreement handy, whether verbally or written down, and refer back to it if needed. The OP sounds like a pretty mature young lady, and her husband sounds (from her description) like a reasonable guy who is more than willing to listen to his wife, so I think they'll be fine.
 
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Spunkn

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Xbox themselves are not inherently evil. Computer games are not evil in themselves (although certain ones definately have an anti-God message, you still have to use some common sense when choosing what games to play)

Golf is not evil. Football is not evil. You get the point. None of these activities become evil until they truly control your life and that's all you never think about.

As the person above me said, if you think it's going to become a problem choose rules and boundaries before you get it. Make sure you stick to them. If it becomes a problem to follow those rules and boundaries THEN I would choose to get rid of the xbox.
 
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CounselorForChrist

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Purchase wise, yes he should have told you. Its a marriage not a "This is mine and thats yours" thing lol. Christian wise its only bad if he lets it distract himself from the marriage or if he "changes" from what he plays on it. I own a Xbox 360 and likely am selling it before my fiance comes here. I don't want it to get between us. I'm choosing the soon to be marriage over my pleasure.

Not to mention theres really not alot a couple can play together on it. Alot of the games that have coop (you play together) are games like Dead Space or Borderlands 2 which aren't exactly christian oriented. If anything if you want enjoy it with him get a Wii. Not only can you use it to stay fit (buy a Wii Fit) but it almost always has something to play for families. Its system made for young, the old, couples...etc. And since its by Nintendo its relatively family friendly.

Also Wii and its stuff for it are way cheaper and don't require monthly fees. Also you can do other things on it like browse the web, watch Netflix, use facebook...etc. You can do tis on Xbox and PS3 also but just saying Wii is the better choice for family.
 
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Barricade24

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You may not like this but I advise that you return the XBOX and get
your money back while you can.

Don't create a hardship or change set rules about consulting your spouse
before making a large purchase.

Is this a good thing?
Such a large purchase was made without your knowledge and you can't
comfortably afford the XBOX and those games...at this time.
You have a new baby coming and that usually means one of you won't be working
outside the home for awhile.
Your situation seems pretty "tight" financially.

If you want fun games to play together I suggest Word Thief, Scrabble,
Settlers of Catan etc. We picked up a few PC games like: Create,
Scrabble, Bejeweled 2 on clearance for less than ten dollars. I also
have some other PC games too.

If it is a help to you, I can send you some games for your PC for free,
let me know if this is something you would like?

I love Bejeweled 2! Jewel Quest is also really nice. They have great story lines. Both games have great music too.

How could I forget Burger Shop? That game is awesome too!

There are a whole bunch of non-violent games that are really fun. You just got to know where to find them.
 
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wmpratt

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I was initially a little upset to learn that my husband had bought an Xbox... not so much that he brought it into our home, but that he'd made such a large purchase without consulting me!

I was also worried about the distraction from our family. We are newlyweds, expecting our first baby in 2 months, and we have plenty of friends who turn away from thier families to play video games. These men have strained relationships with their wives and children. We also know families where the older children play video games for many hours a day. These families also have strained relationships, and the children addicted to these games are not being raised to love God, only video games.

After talking about this, my husband wished to return it right away. I also had a change of heart... after all, winter is very cold where we live, it is a rural area, and we have trouble finding fun things to do together during our long, snowy winter. Building a snowman in 8 degrees is only fun so many times. We will spend most of this summer holed up with a newborn baby, and when he's old enough to go out, it will be winter again. I asked, "maybe this is something that we can use together?" After all, technology is like money, not inherantly evil, but something that needs to be used with care. We do enjoy watching family sitcoms together on our cable box, and it seems like everyone here likes their internet alright.

Now, I can't see our family becoming like the others we know. By the time our son is old enough to play, Xbox will be a thing of the past. My husband doesn't play video games often at all, and we both easily agree that very violent games will not come through our doors ever. I have always been fairly conservative with technology, and my husband has adopted my minimalist life without much complaint. He's been a good sport, and works hard, and it just seems fair for him to have something that he has wanted for such a long time. We only have one television, and neither of us carries a cell phone. We're the only 20-somethings I know with a landline phone!

However, we were both disappointed with the lack of 2 player games at the video game store (one player racing games? REALLY?). We were surprised that the console only came with one controller... thought video games were a social thing like they were when we were young? I'm not naive, but was still shocked to see how inappropriate some of the games are (a busty girl in a cheerleader outfit on a killing spree with a chainsaw? a mentally ill teddy bear that can't stop killing all the other stuffed animals?!?). Then again, we could slide something equally evil into our DVD player, but don't.

We did have fun playing the clean two person game we picked up... reminded us of the board games that we play so often. But we are both equally on the fence about if this thing should stay or go back to the store. We're worried that if using it in a manner becoming of a young Christian family, it might just sit there and collect dust. And it was very expensive.

How do you feel about the Xbox? Do you have one? Would you?

Minecraft: Xbox 360 Edition - Xbox.com
 
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GraceLoveHope

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Thanks for the help! A variety of opinions, as I anticipated. We are already planning to keep it for the weekend, rent a few games, and decide if we like it. Ultimately, I will be letting my husband make the decision on this one. He has wanted one for awhile, and if he enjoys it, I would rather see him keep it.
 
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CounselorForChrist

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Minecraft: Xbox 360 Edition - Xbox.com
I love Minecraft. Its simple yet complex (well to learn everything at once). And its REALLY fun to play with someone. Its a game where you do what you want essentially. You harvest materials by chopping down trees, digging for iron, gold...etc. This can happen in thick jungles, in grassy plains, on snowy mountains or deep within huge caves. Then you build things with some of this stuff. Like doors, axes, bowls for food...etc. You can even use animals around the area. Such as milk a cow, or wait for a chicken to lay an egg.

It may sound basic but it gets your creative juices going. You can create the house of your dreams (to some degree lol) in the game and you and the hubby could live in it!

Any of the possible bad stuff (for those who are offended by it) can be turned off like giant spiders, zombies...etc. Newer versions have a book you can craft that puts "spells" more or less on objects. But as stated you don't have to build that thing. Its why its a game where everything is your choice! I really love the game and have spent many times escaping into it.
 
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