Would You Rather Have Your Marriage Arranged?

[aReformedPatriot]

These days, dating just seems so ridiculous. Would you have rather had your marriage arranged before hand?

I for one would have.

 

[Redguard]

Nope.

I remember the girls that my parents tried to push me towards when I was younger. No thanks!

 

[Wheezy]

Hmm. Depends on who's picking the guy out for me! My youth pastor's wife had a NICE guy picked out for me (older than me, in his 30's), but he lives in Oregon so it just isn't gonna happen! But it's nice to dream about. If the person choosing the guy had good taste, I'd go the arranged route!

Fight on -- Wheezy

 

[fishstix]

No I wouldn't. If my parents had arranged a marriage for me I would probably already be married - and I do not want to be. I'm enjoying being single. I suppose it would be ok if they were to suggest people if I was looking (although that could get annoying in a hurry) but I would not want them to have gone ahead and arranged a marriage for me. In my opinion, being forced to marry someone against one's will - either because they don't want to marry that particular person ever or marry anyone at that point in time - is just the same as being raped - repeatedly.

 

[boilerblues]

I figure my marriage is arranged......by God

As to the idea of someone taking an intentional part in that process, I'm not sure. It would first depend on who was setting it up. My dad I'd maybe be ok with doing it, not my mom. probably not anyone else in my family, maybe a couple of people who know me well at church.

At my brother's wedding his bride's mom tried to set me up with a girl. I was not interested in anyone at that time, and didn't really have any interest in this girl. I chatted with her some, made polite conversation, and exited the conversation at an opportunity that wasn't terribly rude. I didn't run into her again. My dad told me back at the hotel that she had asked him for my email address. He didn't give it to her. I love my dad

In foreign countries there are still some that do arranged marriages. I don't think they should necessarily switch to our jacked up methods. But I think it would take a strong faith for someone in our culture to trust someone else to make that decision for us and also to be able to love that person without evaluating the relationship in light of our own culture.

 

[OhhJim]

These days, dating just seems so ridiculous.

No offense, but there's something...odd...about a 21-year-old using the phrase, "these days". What, like things were so different back in the good old days when you were...19? "Yeah, 2002, now THERE was a year!! Things were so different back then!!"

Take it from me, dating has been ridiculous (and sublime) for years. Since about 1970, anyway!

 

[Speluncher]

No offense, but there's something...odd...about a 21-year-old using the phrase, "these days". What, like things were so different back in the good old days when you were...19? "Yeah, 2002, now THERE was a year!! Things were so different back then!!"

Take it from me, dating has been ridiculous (and sublime) for years. Since about 1970, anyway!

Now that I don't see the "Find all posts by..." it will be tricky to find all of your posts, OhhJim, which I appreciate so much. You have a very interesting approach to life, so you're going to have to PM me each time you write on a thread.

 

[TriptychR]

I certainly wouldn't want someone picked out for me against my will, but to make my parents or someone I trust a concrete part of the selection process might not be such a bad thing, as long as both of us agreed to marry at the end.

But then again, there might be a lot to regret in that as well.

 

[aReformedPatriot]

No offense, but there's something...odd...about a 21-year-old using the phrase, "these days". What, like things were so different back in the good old days when you were...19? "Yeah, 2002, now THERE was a year!! Things were so different back then!!"

Take it from me, dating has been ridiculous (and sublime) for years. Since about 1970, anyway!

Ha, I've always got along better with older people than I do with my own age group. It's odd.

 

[waterbear]

No, I'm generally not attracted to the girls people/my parents try to set me up with. They find girls they like, not one's I'd like.

 

[eutychus]

If my parents were hardcore Christians, then yes. Marriage is about serving God through committing your life to another person. Out of the commitment, there is love. Especially if, as an above poster commented, God is sovereign, and already has these matches made, then the person getting married has nothing to worry about 'cause there not only will be an attraction (no matter what the world thinks), but authentic love, and great sex.

 

[halifaxhoney]

I don't think I would want an arranged marriage. I don't think that my grandparents would've picked out someone I really liked.

Crystal

 

[aReformedPatriot]

I dont think thats the point of an arranged marriage. Love always comes later, not first. And I think its what makes those relationships stronger

 

[krstg]

I figure my marriage is arranged......by God

hehe


About my No vote: I'd rather not have my marriage arranged. I haven't really dated, but I know that I would like get to know someone through my own eyes, which would include dating. I want to believe that a man loves me before seriously considering marriage.

 

[AveMaria]

Definately not, and if my family had tried, I think I'd be happily in a convent by now.

On a side note, while some arranged marriages work out happily, not all do.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

TLE we see completely eye to eye on this issue. Love is a commitment, not butterflies in your stomach. If people rely on those fuzzy feel-goods as a "sign" they're meant to be, I'm afraid they will fall prey to the "I've lost that lovin' feeling" phase at some point in the marriage. That is one reason there are so many divorces these days.

I would prefer my parents to arrange a marriage, to be quite honest. Other than God, who knows me better than my parents? They are Christians and know exactly what sort of man God would want me to be with. I have terrible taste when it comes to picking men.

 

[wvmtnkid]

I voted maybe. It depends on who does the arranging! If it were left up to my mom, I would say no. I have never cared for those fellows she thought I should go out with. And I think if she were asked to arrange my marriage, she would gracefully decline, knowing how we don't see eye to eye!

However, if it were left up to some of my friends, then, yes, I think they know me pretty good and would make a good choice.

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

my parents, as awesome as they are, are on a completely different page when it comes to the ladies. I value their input and I talk to them about GFs/friends of mine. I value their opinions above anyoe elses, but I want to make my own choices.

 

[divinewind2]

Actually, I Used To Work For An Indian Lady Whose Mother Had A Husband Chosen For Her. She Said That The Family Is Very Supportive And That Arranged Marriages Work Because Of The Support Given By The Extended Family....incidentally.....she Ran Away To Australia....

 

[Spicy McHaggis]

Actually, I Used To Work For An Indian Lady Whose Mother Had A Husband Chosen For Her. She Said That The Family Is Very Supportive And That Arranged Marriages Work Because Of The Support Given By The Extended Family....incidentally.....she Ran Away To Australia....

too funny