Would you date an unbeliever?

[FlyerBoy]

relationships have a way of playing with your thoughts and feelings. before you enter the relationship you may have your mind made up that she will either come to salvation, or the two of you will break up, but have you considered the very real possibility that she could end up dragging you down and pulling you away from your faith? it happens much more than you might think.

or the other thing that could happen is she'll say that shes accepted Christ just to please you, but she hasn't actually made a decision. that is also a very common thing for unequally yoked couples.

missionary dating is incredibly dangerous for a believer, if you want to witness do it as a friend.

I understand what you are saying. But I am just so involved and made so many friends at my church they would catch on to me getting pulled away and keep me in my place with the church. I am doing so well with my relationship with God right now it just got a lot better this weekend when i went to Accuire the fire which i recommend anyone who is trying to find god to go.

 

[rayzor]

I think that if you find a girl or guy that you like and they are not a christian but they are believer then you should go head and date but if they are not a christian or a believer then maybe you should date them and try to save them...

 

[Glorianna]

Not only am I engaged but I would never date an unbeliever because I would only ever date men who I can see myself getting married to. And I definitely can't see myself as the wife of an unbeliever!

 

[renaistre]

I think that if you find a girl or guy that you like and they are not a christian but they are believer then you should go head and date but if they are not a christian or a believer then maybe you should date them and try to save them...

If I may hazard a guess, I think in the OP "unbeliever" refers to someone who is not a Christian.

 

[Blank123]

I understand what you are saying. But I am just so involved and made so many friends at my church they would catch on to me getting pulled away and keep me in my place with the church. I am doing so well with my relationship with God right now it just got a lot better this weekend when i went to Accuire the fire which i recommend anyone who is trying to find god to go.

and if you fell in love with such a girl, what are the chances you would listen to your friends when they tried to warn you? most people would be blinded to that sort of thing, and wouldn't be able to see what it is that family or friends are talking about.

 

[hockeysistah12]

I think that if you find a girl or guy that you like and they are not a christian but they are believer then you should go head and date but if they are not a christian or a believer then maybe you should date them and try to save them...

What kind of thinking is this? its like playing with fire and when you play with it, you get burnt. You cannot "save" an unbeliever, because they have to make it up in their mind that they will accept christ and follow through with their decison, this intails going to a good healthy well balanced church. These kind of relationships, are not healthy at all.

 

[Love&Pain]

missionary dating is dating an unsaved person with the intention of bringing them to Christ.

oh... cool term! thank you for teaching me the definition of that word.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Closed for moderator review.

 

[wvmtnkid]

Thread re-opened

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

then maybe you should date them and try to save them...

*pulls hair* We do not have the power within us to "save" people. In fact, I am adamantly opposed to terms such as "soul winner" and phrases such as "I went door to door handing out tracts and I saved someone". Only Jesus Christ can save those who are lost. Some of us are planters, others waterers, and others nurturers. The problem many Christians have is that they feel they have to "save" a lost person, but it's almost like being a car salesman. Once they "seal the deal" (when the lost person says the sinner's prayer in their presence) they're gone - out looking for the next person they think they can save.

The problem with dating someone in hopes of them accepting Christ is that the relationship is risky. The odds of them tearing down your moral resolve and botching up your relationship with Christ are far greater than your odds are of "saving" them. Personally, I'm not sure why a non-christian would want to be with a Christian (save for the occasion in which two people get married as lost people and then one spouse accepts Christ) in the first place. When I was lost, I didn't want to have anything to do with Christians, let alone date one. Had I dated one, I know I would have been tempted to drag them down with me because I wouldn't want to hear any of their "holy rollin'" which would totally ruin my fun.

It's one thing to befriend a lost person in hopes of getting them to be receptive of the Gospel message. That's just being a good witness. Dating a non-christian in hopes of them getting saved is a bad situation all the way around.

 

[anett]

Sorry I didn't have time to read all the posts through, though I really wanted to share my opinion so sorry if I will reapeat something.
By my opinion the answer is a huge NO, since I don't date anyone just to have fun only if I see the chance to develop a deep relationship. My question is: how can you really talk about deep things and about your most precious thing (hopefully it is God since you are a christian) with an unbeliever??? If he hasn't met God personally, he isn't saved, so he is dead spiritually. How could I share my deepest spiritual thoughts or dilemmas if he has no idea about it at all.
Also how can you really have a close relationship if in most of the things you'll disagreee?? And you will since you see the world and the things according to the Bible and he most probably won't. And I'm not even talking about minsitry which is also a big issue at least for me.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

there was a time when i would have dated a non-believer hence in part the user id womanatthewell and why i won't date a non-believer anymore. there are too many important differences - spiritually, our roles, finances, beliefs - political and or otherwise. relationships are hard enough without the single most important element (spiritual) being "off."

 

[Luke 1:45]

Not anymore. After a year of dating off and on, waiting for him to receive Christ, I realized God wanted me to "loose that man and let him go." So I just did. And I don't know what will happen next, whether he'll accept Christ down the line, and come back for me, or whether God has someone else in mind that He's been waiting all this time to bless me with. But I do know that either way, I'll be alright.

 

[BeautyForAshes]

With Christ, there is no middle ground - no little bit saved or 65% saved. You can know everything there is to know about Christ, the Christian faith, the bible, etc. - even the enemy knows this much. All this "knowledge" will not prevent someone from going to hell.

It is the fact that believers have a personal relationship/salvation with Christ (the acknowledgement of being are sinner, humble and true repentance, belief and acceptance that Christ's dyed on the cross so that we could be reconiled with God, and whoemever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life) and that He is the Lord and Saviour or our lives. "Book knowledge" does not automatically make someone a believer.

 

[Thithy]

My thing is, I would probably say yes to someone before I really knew if they were a christian or not. Because if I don't know the person I can't say no, unless they are giving me weird vibes. I figure everyone deserves a chance. I may suggest a group date if I don't know them that well, just so I'll feel more comfortable. Saying yes to a date isn't saying that you'll be their girl/boyfriend, it's just a date. And who knows, it may start a friendship, which could then lead them to Christ. However, if there was no chance that the person is going to give their hearts to Christ I'll still be nice to them, but a deep relationship (even just a simple friendship) wouldn't be able to happen.

 

[Tenorvoice]

The Bible says that we are not to be unequally yoked, in any way shape or form. So NO I would not even consider dating an unbeliver!!!! God Forbids it!

 

[Love&Pain]

*pulls hair* We do not have the power within us to "save" people. In fact, I am adamantly opposed to terms such as "soul winner" and phrases such as "I went door to door handing out tracts and I saved someone". Only Jesus Christ can save those who are lost. Some of us are planters, others waterers, and others nurturers. The problem many Christians have is that they feel they have to "save" a lost person, but it's almost like being a car salesman. Once they "seal the deal" (when the lost person says the sinner's prayer in their presence) they're gone - out looking for the next person they think they can save.

The problem with dating someone in hopes of them accepting Christ is that the relationship is risky. The odds of them tearing down your moral resolve and botching up your relationship with Christ are far greater than your odds are of "saving" them. Personally, I'm not sure why a non-christian would want to be with a Christian (save for the occasion in which two people get married as lost people and then one spouse accepts Christ) in the first place. When I was lost, I didn't want to have anything to do with Christians, let alone date one. Had I dated one, I know I would have been tempted to drag them down with me because I wouldn't want to hear any of their "holy rollin'" which would totally ruin my fun.

It's one thing to befriend a lost person in hopes of getting them to be receptive of the Gospel message. That's just being a good witness. Dating a non-christian in hopes of them getting saved is a bad situation all the way around.

I enjoyed reading your posts. I value your Godly wisdom and understanding. You are right, we can't save people only God can. I remember when I was unsaved people would ask me to go to church. I went a couple of times but I never accepted Christ into my life. I accepted in my life when it was my decision and I didn't feel pressured. I cried out to God and told him, "Forgive me of my sins Father. Come into my life..." I was thinking about the subject of trying to convert an unbeliever so you can date them but then I remembered my theory. If you are going to date someone that means you accept them for who they are. You shouldn't date someone and hope to mold them into your perfect mate. Awesome post, thank you for sharing with us!

 

[waterbear]

Date for a little while at least, sure. I won't date people who have something very undesirable which cannot be changed, but one's faith is certainly mutable. That said, if I thought her values were very different in signficant ways I'd let it be known that I'm not going to continue a romantic relationship with someone whose values are as hers are. If she's interested in changing herself, okay. If not, the dating ends.

 

[carmi]

Yes I am real.
I am being serious. The morality of a man should be held in higher esteem than many choose to hold it. Many marriages end in a split and in order to avoid this a man with high morality should be chosen. This means a serious christian.

But I would like to know why it is more immoral for a woman than for a man. The way you wrote one might think it is okay for man to marry a non-christian. This is what you wrote:

"It is immoral, and much more immoral for a woman to engage in this sin. they should learn how to choose a good christian husband, not being held ransom over their hormones for some smooth talking non christian who will probably leave them for welfare taxes to bring up the children."

 

[Blank123]

oh... cool term! thank you for teaching me the definition of that word.

no problem