Would a Christian man date an ex-prostitute.

VozNocturna said:

I'm going to say this as someone who spent a lot of her life worrying about people's opinions and who has had to fight for my life (spiritually)...

Perhaps this is a question of age/maturity. But, if you seriously spend your life this way (theoretically), you will die (emotionally, spiritually, etc.). YES, people are judgmental. But, honestly, you have to reach a point your life where you no longer let other people's opinions dictate your decisions. The only standard you should have is God (and his Word). There comes a time when you have to stand up and do what is right by God and no one else. If Christ our Lord approves of your decisions, then who can be against you? I would seriously leave any church that applied wordly standards to judge my life, without a doubt.

If you don't want to date someone who was sexually loose at one point in time, then I think that is a perfectly valid decision. No one should condemn you for having your own standards. But make sure you are doing it because of your own Biblically-based convictions (Romans 14) and not the opinion of "church folks" who, as you admit , "don't study the Bible daily".

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Oh I agree. Its a tough call for me, fortunutly its not one that I've had to make at this point. Hopefully its not one that I will ever have to make. Its a troubling thing either way.

Either I resign and don't stand up for the Gospel and save the church.

Or I stand up for myself and the gospel and possibly cause the church to crumble. The leadership would for the most part stand up for the Gospel I think. Perhaps by talking to them I would gain the courage to stand up for myself and the Gospel too.

Either way I think with me given that I have a position of responsibility within the church this might cause a bigger issue and scandle then a lot of people recognize. I'm naturally going to be held to a higher standard then others (Although not as high as staff or council members) Things like this have a tendency to turn into bigger deals then they are.

VozNocturna said:

I'm going to say this as someone who spent a lot of her life worrying about people's opinions and who has had to fight for my life (spiritually)...

Perhaps this is a question of age/maturity. But, if you seriously spend your life this way (theoretically), you will die (emotionally, spiritually, etc.). YES, people are judgmental. But, honestly, you have to reach a point in your life where you no longer let other people's opinions dictate your decisions. The only standard you should have is God (and his Word). There comes a time when you have to stand up and do what is right by God and no one else. If Christ our Lord approves of your decisions, then who can be against you? I would seriously leave any church that applied wordly standards to judge my life, without a doubt.

If you don't want to date someone who was sexually loose at one point in time, then I think that is a perfectly valid decision. No one should condemn you for having your own standards. But make sure you are doing it because of your own Biblically-based convictions (Romans 14) and not the opinion of "church folks" who, as you admit , "don't study the Bible daily".

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eeeevil rep system won't let me rep you

LittleladyinChrist said:

must be the ball and chain that made me think you were eccentric, if thats the right word.

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It's a Staff thing.

Luther073082 said:

Hey I agree with you guys on this.

But I'm trying to be a realist here and in real life a lot of people are going to have problems with this.

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You know what? You say that you agree with us, but with all due respect, you clearly are not in complete agreement with what we are saying.

You express concern about being drummed out of ministry work for dating an ex-prostitute. We are saying that no self-respecting church should do such a thing and no self-respecting Christian should let such matters worry him.

So what if the church makes you leave your Sunday school teaching position? If they do that, then they clearly have not grasped the very basics of the gospel message. That church is not worth attending, and the opinions of its people mean absolutely nothing.

Luther073082, I urge you to be very careful with what you are saying. Think about how a repentant ex-prostitute would react to your words. I don't know this for sure, but you may be causing a great deal more pain than you realize.

When you are a new creation, especially someone like Mary Magdeline (an ex-prostitute) you love God with your whole heart...

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BTW, I hate to be pendantic, but... there's no evidence that Mary Magdalene was an ex-prostitute. Luke does mention a prostitute (Lk 7:36-50), but that's a separate individual from Mary the Magdalene. Indeed, Mary Magdalene is intoduced in the very next chapter (Luke 8:2), with no indication that the two women were the same individual.

The notion that Mary Magdalene and the prostitute are one and the same originated with Pope Gregory in AD 591. Clearly though, Pope Gregory was playing loose with the Scriptures when he said that.

For whatever it's worth, I tend to think of prostitutes as victims. You hear about "the sex trade" in the news, and it seems like many prostitutes are just young women who are duped into selling their bodies. In cases like that, they may as well be virgins to me. The real sin is what's done to them. Also, many are addicted to drugs. They don't sleep with men for the fun of it, they sleep with men in order to buy their latest fix. Cure the drug addiction, and the odds are good that she will stop prostituting herself.

jubilationtcornpone said:

You express concern about being drummed out of ministry work for dating an ex-prostitute. We are saying that no self-respecting church should do such a thing and no self-respecting Christian should let such matters worry him.

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No self respecting church or Christian should go out to a gay rights parade with a "God hates gays" sign but lots do. No self respecting church should ignore or look down upon an unwed mother but lots do that too. I'm just saying that these things tend to get blown out of proportion by Sunday Morning Christians who are legion in every church.

So what if the church makes you leave your Sunday school teaching position? If they do that, then they clearly have not grasped the very basics of the gospel message. That church is not worth attending, and the opinions of its people mean absolutely nothing.

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I'm not too worried about being forced out. Even if I do date the wrong person it wouldn't be a huge loss to me. I just know politically speaking there is a good chance for problems if it was public knowledge.

Luther073082, I urge you to be very careful with what you are saying. Think about how a repentant ex-prostitute would react to your words. I don't know this for sure, but you may be causing a great deal more pain than you realize.

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Then read what I say here. A repentant ex prostitute is a repentant sinner like everyone here is. However she should know that she will be unfairly judged by a lot of people. This should not happen but its just going to if people know about her past. While she is just as unworthy of christ as the rest of us she will not be treated this way by all people.

And yes a good Christian man would date her but only if he has courage. Its easy to say that we should only worry about what God thinks of us and not what other people think of us but its harder to actually live it. I would pray that if I where ever in that situation that I would have that kind of courage. I admire that kind of courage.

Judging her is not right but its still gonna happen.

Luther073082 said:

No self respecting church or Christian should go out to a gay rights parade with a "God hates gays" sign but lots do. No self respecting church should ignore or look down upon an unwed mother but lots do that too. I'm just saying that these things tend to get blown out of proportion by Sunday Morning Christians who are legion in every church.

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And you should stay away from those churches as well, so what's your point?

Why are you so concerned about the opinions of self-professed Christians who reject the Bible's teaching on forgiveness? If they reject you for dating an ex-prostitute, then their opinions matter for NOTHING. Nothing whatsoever.

I'm not too worried about being forced out. Even if I do date the wrong person it wouldn't be a huge loss to me. I just know politically speaking there is a good chance for problems if it was public knowledge.

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Does the Bible promise a life of comfort for those who serve Christ? Heavens, no!

Do you want to avoid "problems"? Then reject Jesus Christ now and serve Satan instead.

Then read what I say here. A repentant ex prostitute is a repentant sinner like everyone here is. However she should know that she will be unfairly judged by a lot of people.

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Nobody here is contesting that. Absolutely nobody, so what's your point?

This should not happen but its just going to if people know about her past. While she is just as unworthy of christ as the rest of us she will not be treated this way by all people.

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Again, nobody denies that.

What we object to is the notion that the opinions of your churchmates should have any bearing on whether you choose to date an ex-prostitute. If that's how one's churchmates feel, then their actions are glorifying Satan rather than the Lord.

Judging her is not right but its still gonna happen.

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Then repeat after me:

LittleladyinChrist said:

jubilationtcornpone,

I think that was just something I assumed, I do not mean to mess with scriptures.

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Believe me, I don't blame you for that. For years, I also thought that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute as well. It's a common, albeit misguided, belief in Christendom.

LittleladyinChrist said:

Never the Less, Rahab the Harlot was forgiven of God and her whole family saved for her faith in the God of Israel. There are promises in the Word of God for harlots!

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Another excellent example! Bravo!

For me, not so much of an issue. I don't believe that one's sexual activities in the past should be used as a mode universal mode of judgement any more than past eating, study, or other relational habbits.

That's not to say there wouldn't be a consideration of existing habbits that might affect the relationship. ie alcoholism, drug addiction etc - but if we are talking about issues that have been dealt with, then I don't see an issue at all.

Littlelady, I read your testimony on your profile and it is amazing! I too have been healed of depression and no longer need meds so I can relate to that.

I honestly have trouble believing some of the posts in this thread (although, I haven't gotten all the way through it yet). It is great if all these guys really would date a prostitute, but I just can't help remembering all the threads we've had in Singles Ministry in the past, asking questions such as "would you date a non-virgin", "would you date a disabled person", "would you date a person who was overweight", "would you date someone who had a mental illness", "would you date an ex-homosexual", etc. If I recall correctly, none of those threads turned out to be very pleasant.

maycontainnuts said:

Littlelady, I read your testimony on your profile and it is amazing! I too have been healed of depression and no longer need meds so I can relate to that.

I honestly have trouble believing some of the posts in this thread (although, I haven't gotten all the way through it yet). It is great if all these guys really would date a prostitute, but I just can't help remembering all the threads we've had in Singles Ministry in the past, asking questions such as "would you date a non-virgin", "would you date a disabled person", "would you date a person who was overweight", "would you date someone who had a mental illness", "would you date an ex-homosexual", etc. If I recall correctly, none of those threads turned out to be very pleasant.

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Well I'll guess you'll just have to forgive. Like I said I think dating an ex-prostitute takes courage that I admire and I definatly approve of. Courage that I hope I would have! But I don't think you can blame someone for such things on multiple levels.

In terms of the other questions.

Non-Virgin: I think I've reached a point where I'll have to. I'd still prefer a virgin like me but thats idealistic and at my age there are not many left.

Disabled: Depends on how disabled I think. Technically having glasses or contacts qualifies as being disabled and if its just that then of course I would! I'd probably date an amputee too. But I think there is some point where I'm not sure I'd want to start a relationship with them. I'll be quite honest I'm not sure I'd want to start daing a parapalegic. Its fine if you do. But do not forget hon that I think someone should be real and candid first. Its easy to say that yes you would but its not so easy to MEAN it. I have seen a lot of people both men and women talk a big talk about how looks and money don't matter to them. And yet I see these same people constantly going for other people who are also attractive and/or wealthy. We're all human and shallow to at least some point if we are willing to admit it or not.

Overweight: Yes and I have! But I will tell you I wouldn't date someone who is obese. (Not just overweight but VERY overweight) My mother is obese and it nearly cost her life at 55 years old. She just got back from a month in the hospital because she led an inactive lifestyle. I love her and am afraid of becomming like her so I've always been very active. And I will literally die of starvation before I become obese. I don't want to date someone like my mom and I think that I want to be someone who's at least fairly active. Obese people rarely are.

Mental Illness: Not one of any severity. I just know in my heart that it would not work. I know a few people with mental illnesses at my church that are married to eachother. God bless them and I have nothing but respect for them. But I know me being with one would not work. If thats shallow so be it, I am shallow but you know at least that I am telling you the honest truth and I'm not making up things just to prove that I'm not shallow.

Ex-homosexual: I probably would if they are at least a few years seperated from their homosexuality. I'd like to know that she was at least stable in being heterosexual. But as long as that was true then I doubt I would have major issues with this.

And like I said dating a prostitue would take a lot of forgivness and a lot of courage that I could hope and pray to God that I have. But I am human and while the ideal that I strive for is to "Have no fear but God himself" it is still an ideal one that I don't think I will ever perfectly meet.

What can I say, I'm a work in progress.

Luther073082 said:

Well I'll guess you'll just have to forgive. Like I said I think dating an ex-prostitute takes courage that I admire and I definatly approve of. Courage that I hope I would have! But I don't think you can blame someone for such things on multiple levels.

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Just FYI my comment wasn't directed at you or anyone else in particular. I just felt my eyebrows raising as I was reading reply after reply of "yes I'd date an ex-prostitute". I was actually coming back in this thread to delete my comment but it has already been quoted so oh well. Me, I have dated someone who was disabled, I wouldn't date an ex-homosexual (because I do not personally believe that there is a such thing), I would date someone who had recovered from a mental illness and I would date someone who was suffering from a mental illness depending on what it was (for example some anxiety disorders I know I could handle but things like schizophrenia, I know I could not), I would date an overweight person but only if they were exercising and eating right (yes a person can be overweight even when they eat right and exercise), I would date a non-virgin but it would depend on how long they'd been abstinent and how many partners they had (amongst other things). I do not think I could date someone who was a non-virgin and had been sexually active with a lot of people (as in more than say, 5). I just don't think I would be comfortable with someone having slept with a lot of people. I've slept with two people, so I can't talk, and I understand there are plenty of people who would not be comfortable dating me because of my past.

But back on topic...

Yes, there are Christian men that would date an ex-prostitute.

maycontainnuts said:

Just FYI my comment wasn't directed at you or anyone else in particular. I just felt my eyebrows raising as I was reading reply after reply of "yes I'd date an ex-prostitute". I was actually coming back in this thread to delete my comment but it has already been quoted so oh well. Me, I have dated someone who was disabled, I wouldn't date an ex-homosexual (because I do not personally believe that there is a such thing), I would date someone who had recovered from a mental illness and I would date someone who was suffering from a mental illness depending on what it was (for example some anxiety disorders I know I could handle but things like schizophrenia, I know I could not), I would date an overweight person but only if they were exercising and eating right (yes a person can be overweight even when they eat right and exercise), I would date a non-virgin but it would depend on how long they'd been abstinent and how many partners they had (amongst other things). I do not think I could date someone who was a non-virgin and had been sexually active with a lot of people (as in more than say, 5). I just don't think I would be comfortable with someone having slept with a lot of people. I've slept with two people, so I can't talk, and I understand there are plenty of people who would not be comfortable dating me because of my past.

But back on topic...

Yes, there are Christian men that would date an ex-prostitute.

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Oh ok fair enough. And I would date someone who had recovered from mental illness but I thought that the question was if they where mentally ill right now.

With the overweight issue I agree with you however I was saying that I wouldn't date an obese person (very overweight) I have dated people who where overweight in the past.

With your past I want to re-assure you though. Its not ideal for me being that I'm a virgin but I don't belive in ideal people or ideal situations because no one is perfect. The only thing I would want or expect is that the person regret having slept with those people and secondly that should we get married she would never ever compair me to one of them. One of my greatest fears with marrying a non-virgin is being compaired to another one of their partners if even only in their mind. And if something like that is verbalized I think its perhaps the second most hurtful comment a wife could make to her husband. The most hurtful probably being that they wish they had not married them.

Anyways thanks for clarifying all of that.

God loves you and so do I. --Nicole Unrath (Friend of mine who was killed by a drunk driver God rest her soul)

IMHO if she changed her life around
And became a Christian, I would say yes.
It would be a risk though but maybe it is worth it.
Hopefully for the better, she did change her life around.

LittleladyinChrist said:

I think that sometimes it is easy for us to say yes, because Jesus himself saved prostitutes so in our phycie we can say yes, but in our flesh its like.... uh... you still have reserves.

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You make a valid point. I have had a relationship with an ex-stripper in my past. Not someone who had sex for money, but someone who nonetheless used their body to make money.

I didn't have a problem with the emotional aspect of the relationship, but I will admit that when it came to the physical there were those lingering questions in the back of the mind. Did she sleep around? If so, did she pick up any STD's? It wasn't so much a concern about whether she did sleep around or not as much as it was simply a concern if she had picked up a sexually transmitted disease. Having said this, it is only fair to say it only takes one time for someone to get an STD. A person could have a hundred partners and never pick up an STD, though, obviously, it does increase the risk.


Anyway.... to get to the point...Yes! I don't care about their past - all I would care about is the person standing in front of me today. We all have our sins to atone for... and no one sin is worse than the other.