Would a Christian man date an ex-prostitute.

jubilationtcornpone · Apr 8, 2007

twistedsketch said:
Some would. I personally would not, since I'm a virgin and all that would be weird.

I'm a virgin by choice, and I would be willing to consider it.

Would there be baggage? Sure... but if they person has truly repented and has the right kind of character, then I would at least consider it. The way I see if, if Christ is willing to overlook these things, then so can I.

Sketcher · Apr 8, 2007

jubilationtcornpone said:
I'm a virgin by choice, and I would be willing to consider it.

Would there be baggage? Sure... but if they person has truly repented and has the right kind of character, then I would at least consider it. The way I see if, if Christ is willing to overlook these things, then so can I.

The difference between that thinking and mine is that I recognize that I am not Christ. I am not a healer of all wounds. That is something I've tried to be, and I won't go there again. God would need to do a LOT of healing in her life for me to consider it. I want my future wife to love me and enjoy having sex and otherwise being intimate with me. If God has healed a woman to the point where she could do that, I would consider her.

bluebird88 · Apr 8, 2007

If I were a man I might be concerned that she might do the same thing in the future. I'm just paranoid to believe that the past of a person is a mirror of his/her future...I know it might not be biblical to judge people like this, but you can't tell whether they would go back to the old life style when evil spirits put temptations on them.

I know a guy with a rough past keeps falling again and again, although every time he asked God for forgiveness. Everybody sins but if one keeps falling on the same sin there would be an issue.

Luther073082 · Apr 8, 2007

I only pray that I would have not only that capacity to forgive but also the courage to do that.

I know as a sunday school teacher in the real world if I where to start seeing an ex prostitute and the congregation knew about it they would probably want to have me removed from teaching.

But Christ forgave and I know Christ would want me to forgive that. I don't answer to the congregation as much as I answer to God. So I only hope I would have that faith, forgivness and courage.

I want to go to a place where I fear nothing but God himself.

Sketcher · Apr 8, 2007

Luther073082 said:
I know as a sunday school teacher in the real world if I where to start seeing an ex prostitute and the congregation knew about it they would probably want to have me removed from teaching.

This isn't right at all. If she repented and converted, it would be unfair to both of you.

jubilationtcornpone · Apr 8, 2007

Luther073082 said:
I know as a sunday school teacher in the real world if I where to start seeing an ex prostitute and the congregation knew about it they would probably want to have me removed from teaching.

With all due respect then, that doesn't sound ilke a church that's serving God faithfully. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think it's the truth.

I wonder what such a church would have said about the Apostle Paul? Paul, after all, was a persecutor of the brethren. He assisted in the stoning of believers such as Stephen, which is many times worse than a life of prostitution would be. I wonder how many churches initially tried to spurn Paul, saying, "He used to be a horrible sinner! Don't let your daughters go out with this man!"

Blank123 · Apr 8, 2007

my honest opinion? If he's the right man he will recognize that she is a sinner saved by grace whose sins are all nailed to the cross and those sins aren't something she's carrying anymore. He will recognize that whats in the past is just the past and cannot be helped and therefore there is no good on dwelling on it or holding a grudge against that woman because of it. He will just see a Godly woman whose life story is a testament to the glory of God's love and mercy and he will love her unconditionally.

so my advice to that woman would be not to worry about it. The right guy is not going to make her past an issue or a barrier to a healthy and Godly relationship.

Luther073082 · Apr 8, 2007

twistedsketch said:
This isn't right at all. If she repented and converted, it would be unfair to both of you.

Your right it would be. But thats an ideal world in an ideal church.

This is the sinful world in a good but still sinful church. And even in the best of churches people still judge and people look down upon certain past sins and fail to forgive them.

And when they judge like that and can't forgive sins like that then they have trouble with someone associated heavily with that person teaching their 8th graders.

With all due respect then, that doesn't sound ilke a church that's serving God faithfully. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but I think it's the truth.

I wonder what such a church would have said about the Apostle Paul? Paul, after all, was a persecutor of the brethren. He assisted in the stoning of believers such as Stephen, which is many times worse than a life of prostitution would be. I wonder how many churches initially tried to spurn Paul, saying, "He used to be a horrible sinner! Don't let your daughters go out with this man!"

Again this is the real world. There are a lot of good christians in my church and others who can overlook those things. But there are always the sunday morning christians who don't have that capacity to forgive or look past those things.

I think if this really happened here is how it would play out. My pastor, the youth director and most of my friends and the church coucil would support me. But this would create a huge ruckus amoung the sunday morning christian crowd who are the parents of those 8th graders. This would create a problem because the pastor and church council would have two choices. One get rid of me and cave in on something that is important to our Christian faith. Or two fight it and face losing half their congregation.

For the good of the congregation I would then resign.

my honest opinion? If he's the right man he will recognize that she is a sinner saved by grace whose sins are all nailed to the cross and those sins aren't something she's carrying anymore. He will recognize that whats in the past is just the past and cannot be helped and therefore there is no good on dwelling on it or holding a grudge against that woman because of it. He will just see a Godly woman whose life story is a testament to the glory of God's love and mercy and he will love her unconditionally.

so my advice to that woman would be not to worry about it. The right guy is not going to make her past an issue or a barrier to a healthy and Godly relationship.

Yes thats theologically correct. But I have a ton of respect for a guy who can look past that and forgive that because I might be able to but I'm not sure that I can. I mean for me I've been waiting for marriage and she's been with literally hundreds of guys. Its not only something you have to forgive but also for me that would be drop dead frightening considering marrying someone who's been around the block that many times.

So I understand a guy who couldn't but I have a ton of respect for a guy that could.

TwistTim · Apr 8, 2007

Ok let us say I find myself in that hypothetical situtation you mentioned...

being a Sunday School Teacher to 8th Graders at a church where they would want you out for loving an EX(As in Once was, is No more)-Prostitute.....

my reaction? I'd ask the Pastor for a few minutes before one of the services and explain to them in no uncertain terms why they are wrong to be acting like heathens and judging this New Creation who has been changed by the Grace of God, and also how you have to teach their children the basics of the faith because 85% of Christian Parents don't even do that at home.... then rail against them all being sinners, having sinned various sins in the past, and some of them are most likely struggling with sins even now...who are they to Judge someone who has stopped sinning because of their past/present?

And then, I'd say something about how The Altar is always open for those who are repentant and want to pray about their sinful attitudes.....

Yeah, I know doing that, I'd possibly be asked to resign by the Pastor if he's the type to care more about bodies than souls...... if he did though, I'd tell him, ok, but then tell him I'm looking for a Church that actually preaches the Word of God and doesn't judge based on worldly standards but on heavenly ones......

just my thoughts on what I would do in that situation.....
again, I've been single for a long time(8 years this Sept) so it would be someone special for me to break being single and date.... and yeah I've given it a lot of thought.....

jubilationtcornpone · Apr 8, 2007

Luther073082 said:
Your right it would be. But thats an ideal world in an ideal church.

I strongly disagree. Even a NON-ideal church should recognize that a person's sins are in the past.

Do you think that the Corinthian church was ideal? Not at all; in fact, Paul had some pretty harsh things to say about all of them. Nevertheless, they were willing to overlook his past and welcome him as a brother.

What about the Thessalonians? Or the Galatians? or the Colossians? None of them were ideal churchs either, yet they recognized that Paul's sins were in the past.

This is the sinful world in a good but still sinful church. And even in the best of churches people still judge and people look down upon certain past sins and fail to forgive them.

Are there sinful people in the church? Certainly. All churches will have their shortcomings. Nevertheless, the teaching of Christ's forgiveness is basic, easy to grasp, and (most importantly) absolutely central to the gospel message. Any church that fails to practice this teaching is not a church that's worth attending.

And with all due respect to the readers here, I declare... If your church is the type that would demand your removal from ministry because you're dating an ex-prostitute -- even a repentant one -- then I think you should leave that church and never darken its door again.

Luther073082 · Apr 8, 2007

TwistTim said:
Ok let us say I find myself in that hypothetical situtation you mentioned...

being a Sunday School Teacher to 8th Graders at a church where they would want you out for loving an EX(As in Once was, is No more)-Prostitute.....

my reaction? I'd ask the Pastor for a few minutes before one of the services and explain to them in no uncertain terms why they are wrong to be acting like heathens and judging this New Creation who has been changed by the Grace of God, and also how you have to teach their children the basics of the faith because 85% of Christian Parents don't even do that at home.... then rail against them all being sinners, having sinned various sins in the past, and some of them are most likely struggling with sins even now...who are they to Judge someone who has stopped sinning because of their past/present?

And then, I'd say something about how The Altar is always open for those who are repentant and want to pray about their sinful attitudes.....

Yeah, I know doing that, I'd possibly be asked to resign by the Pastor if he's the type to care more about bodies than souls...... if he did though, I'd tell him, ok, but then tell him I'm looking for a Church that actually preaches the Word of God and doesn't judge based on worldly standards but on heavenly ones......

just my thoughts on what I would do in that situation.....
again, I've been single for a long time(8 years this Sept) so it would be someone special for me to break being single and date.... and yeah I've given it a lot of thought.....

Oh I'm certain he would make it clear in a public speech. But I don't think it would change a lot of minds. My pastor has a lot of backbone so I don't think he would cave on this. He wouldn't ask me to resign neither would the church council, or the youth director. However I would resign of my own decision for the good of the congregation. I would be the one that would cave, it wouldn't be them. Because I know they would stick up for me. But I'm not going to take down a church that has been around for 150 years (Literally this is our 150th anniversary) because of who I decided to date.

I like to teach sunday school but me teaching Sunday school isn't important enough to make it worth bringing down the congregation. So I would resign of my own free will.

I'm just guessing but I think that would be the political ramifications no matter where you go.

dluvs2trvl · Apr 8, 2007

jubilationtcornpone said:
I strongly disagree. Even a NON-ideal church should recognize that a person's sins are in the past.

Do you think that the Corinthian church was ideal? Not at all; in fact, Paul had some pretty harsh things to say about all of them. Nevertheless, they were willing to overlook his past and welcome him as a brother.

What about the Thessalonians? Or the Galatians? or the Colossians? None of them were ideal churchs either, yet they recognized that Paul's sins were in the past.

Are there sinful people in the church? Certainly. All churches will have their shortcomings. Nevertheless, the teaching of Christ's forgiveness is basic, easy to grasp, and (most importantly) absolutely central to the gospel message. Any church that fails to practice this teaching is not a church that's worth attending.

And with all due respect to the readers here, I declare... If your church is the type that would demand your removal from ministry because you're dating an ex-prostitute -- even a repentant one -- then I think you should leave that church and never darken its door again.

jubilationtcornpone...I couldn't have said it better myself.

Sin is sin - no sin is greater or less sinful than another...and ALL sin is forgiven when we come to the Lord with a repentent heart...

So if we follow the line of logic displayed by the church in Luther073082's post then NO ONE would be able to be in ministry...because again all sin is sin...so who would be worthy to minister.

The Lord sees things very differently. His grace and blood has redeemed us all...and He sees all (a forgiven liar, a forgiven thief, a forgiven ex-prostitute, etc) as worthy of spreading His gospel and being an example to the world of His mercy and grace.

Gimpy · Apr 8, 2007

Wow, I am so surprised at how much controversy this thread has stirred up. Does not anyone truely believe that once washed clean by the blood of Christ, any person, prostitute or otherwise is a new person?
Even I have put some criterion on top of that. Such as, being off drugs for some time and loving God to some degree. What is the real proof that I love God any more than ANYONE. Arent most of us different on the outside than on the inside? Do none of us have a sin we do not display to eachother here or anywhere else, or maybe some to display somewhere else and not here.
The real difference between a prostitute and anyone of us is she has displayed her sin, perhaps wrongfully but nonetheless, if she is saved and her lifestyle demonstrates as such, is she not as worthy as any of us? What of Mary of Magdaline? What was she when she first met Christ? Who of us would have chosen her to be the utmost of Christs female disciples and perhaps actually his premier disciple. What was she when she first met Christ?

Blank123 · Apr 8, 2007

Its not only something you have to forgive but also for me that would be drop dead frightening considering marrying someone who's been around the block that many times.

i don't actually even see that as something you'd have to forgive. Just recognize that that person has already been washed clean by the blood of the Lamb. Just like David who proclaimed that his sins were against God only, so would her sin would be against God alone not a person, so only He could forgive that sin.

So I understand a guy who couldn't but I have a ton of respect for a guy that could.

well no one is saying that everyone has to marry a non virgin or an ex-prostitute. I can understand why some people would prefer to only marry a virgin so there's no condemnation in that. But at the same time neither is there any condemnation for the man or woman who are open that if that should be where God leads them.

jubilationtcornpone · Apr 8, 2007

dluvs2trvl said:
jubilationtcornpone...I couldn't have said it better myself.

Sin is sin - no sin is greater or less sinful than another...and ALL sin is forgiven when we come to the Lord with a repentent heart...

So if we follow the line of logic displayed by the church in Luther073082's post then NO ONE would be able to be in ministry...because again all sin is sin...so who would be worthy to minister.

Actually, I don't think it's strictly true that al sin is equal in God's eyes. This article explains why I say that.

However, I do agree that this issue shoudl be a complete no-brainer. If we refuse to overlook one person's past, then none of us should be considered qualified for ministry work! Every single one of us has committed enough sins to disqualify us from Christian service. It is only by God's grace that we are allowed to serve him.

VozNocturna · Apr 8, 2007

jubilationtcornpone said:
I strongly disagree. Even a NON-ideal church should recognize that a person's sins are in the past.

Do you think that the Corinthian church was ideal? Not at all; in fact, Paul had some pretty harsh things to say about all of them. Nevertheless, they were willing to overlook his past and welcome him as a brother.

What about the Thessalonians? Or the Galatians? or the Colossians? None of them were ideal churchs either, yet they recognized that Paul's sins were in the past.

Are there sinful people in the church? Certainly. All churches will have their shortcomings. Nevertheless, the teaching of Christ's forgiveness is basic, easy to grasp, and (most importantly) absolutely central to the gospel message. Any church that fails to practice this teaching is not a church that's worth attending.

And with all due respect to the readers here, I declare... If your church is the type that would demand your removal from ministry because you're dating an ex-prostitute -- even a repentant one -- then I think you should leave that church and never darken its door again.

Wordy McWord! I LOVE the Pauline epistles for their forthright condemnation of [vile] sin and, at the same time, the HOPE they offer to even the vilest of sinners!!!!

Luther073082 · Apr 8, 2007

Hey I agree with you guys on this.

But I'm trying to be a realist here and in real life a lot of people are going to have problems with this.

You and I both know there are a lot of Christian in every congregation that are very judgemental. Sexual sins get judged very harshly by these people. And a lot may confess the teachings of Christ but in real life want nothing to do with sinners. I'm sorry but I think your being too ideal or blind if you can't recognize this.

The leaders of my congregation have that grace and it wouldn't bother them. But the majority of people in any church don't study the bible daily, cherry pick their passages, and are more willing to judge someone then forgive when it comes to that.

I'm not saying its right because it is not right theologically or any other way. However its real life.

edit: We teach it at Bethany but lets be real here how many people do you think practice it in their every day lives? In any church you have the actives and the inactives. The diciples and the Sunday Morning Christians. You can't make someone be a diciple if they don't want to be. And sunday morning Christians for the most often ignore things that are central to their faith but like to use it to pronounce judgement on others.

My pastor, and all the church leadership and staff I know would support me on this. They wouldn't comprimise the Gospel to preserve the church. However I feel a sense of duty to the church and for me standing up for myself in something like this is not important enough to risk the good things we do have going at the church. So perhaps I'm the one thats guilty of comprising the gospel or at a very least not having a backbone to stand up for the gospel. Its a tough situation but I think presevering the church more good can happen then fighting it and watching it collapse.

And perhaps I'm totally misreading my church and no one would make any bones about it. But I just think that you are going to have this problem no matter what church you go to.

songz777 · Apr 8, 2007

Yes I would as long as she was free of aids and truly set free from prostition and the desires for finantial gain.
The past is the past and what man is there who has not at some point had wrong thoughts (to think is to do in Gods eyes)

VozNocturna · Apr 8, 2007

Luther073082 said:
Hey I agree with you guys on this.

But I'm trying to be a realist here and in real life a lot of people are going to have problems with this.

You and I both know there are a lot of Christian in every congregation that are very judgemental. Sexual sins get judged very harshly by these people. And a lot may confess the teachings of Christ but in real life want nothing to do with sinners. I'm sorry but I think your being too ideal or blind if you can't recognize this.

The leaders of my congregation have that grace and it wouldn't bother them. But the majority of people in any church don't study the bible daily, cherry pick their passages, and are more willing to judge someone then forgive when it comes to that.

I'm not saying its right because it is not right theologically or any other way. However its real life.

I'm going to say this as someone who spent a lot of her life worrying about people's opinions and who has had to fight for my life (spiritually)...

Perhaps this is a question of age/maturity. But, if you seriously spend your life this way (theoretically), you will die (emotionally, spiritually, etc.). YES, people are judgmental. But, honestly, you have to reach a point in your life where you no longer let other people's opinions dictate your decisions. The only standard you should have is God (and his Word). There comes a time when you have to stand up and do what is right by God and no one else. If Christ our Lord approves of your decisions, then who can be against you? I would seriously leave any church that applied wordly standards to judge my life, without a doubt.

If you don't want to date someone who was sexually loose at one point in time, then I think that is a perfectly valid decision. No one should condemn you for having your own standards. But make sure you are doing it because of your own Biblically-based convictions (Romans 14) and not the opinion of "church folks" who, as you admit , "don't study the Bible daily".

LittleladyinChrist · Apr 8, 2007

The thing I dont get is that even Paul the apostle did something completely vile, killing Christians, but Peter and the rest of the Apostles forgave him, and he wrote 70% of the New Testament. I can understand that people would automatically think, oh well she must have STD's or something, or Oh she must have been a crack head. BUT WHEN GOD DELIVERES HE DELIVERS. When you are a new creation, especially someone like Mary Magdeline (an ex-prostitute) you love God with your whole heart, he has made you clean, a lady for the first time, and no matter what anyone says they cant take that away. God is a healing God, and I know people who are ex druggies, ex conartists, ex gang members, ex prostitutes, i even know someone who has killed before, but these people love God more then any Christian I know who thinks that they have walked the good life, the righteous life there whole life. He who has been forgiven much, loveth much. I myself would date any of those listed above if they were truly born again, because these people never want to follow their old ways, so all the more they cling to Christ!

Would a Christian man date an ex-prostitute.

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