Worthless

[knw1991]

Thank you jsimms.

I thought I was doing better but I'm struggling now. I have hurts and disappointments I don't know how to deal with. I prayed but I don't know if God hears me and if anything will change. My present circumstances are hurting me, being alone and not having money. My mind keeps going back to people who have hurt me like the men who only spoke to me because of lustful intent. I have never met anyone who wanted to know me for who I am. I'm losing hope that I'll ever meet that person. I should just give up on love completely but I don't know how to let go or maybe it will take time. If I do I won't be able to have children. My heart goes out to others who are hurting And I pray for you all. I wish that you all would have peace and feel God's love. I thought I was doing better but all of a sudden I'm crying so much. I wish God would help me feel better right away sometimes waiting feels like nothing will change.

 

[knw1991]

I just give up, it's meant for me to be depressed. I can't fight this off. My life is pointless. I should just prepare myself for more pain. Year after year since 2011 I've been hurting, 2014 will be no different

 

[Arcwood]

No Christian friends. no church.
And numb is better than blasphemy.

however. Jesus Lives in us. You don't have to pray in words or on your knees to be with him and understand him, and receive his blessings.
When you ask for things demons will immediately see if you are poor in faith, and they will take away even what you have.

So. If Jesus is in you there is no need to talk to him.
and your not opening your heart to God, your opening your heart to Jesus**

 

[knw1991]

No Christian friends. no church.
And numb is better than blasphemy.

however. Jesus Lives in us. You don't have to pray in words or on your knees to be with him and understand him, and receive his blessings.
When you ask for things demons will immediately see if you are poor in faith, and they will take away even what you have.

So. If Jesus is in you there is no need to talk to him.
and your not opening your heart to God, your opening your heart to Jesus**

Maybe you should try to find a church home. I think demons don't want you to pray that's why they are bothering you. But the bible tells us to always pray that's the only way we can find comfort, peace, and direction. Without prayer we would be living off of our own perception of things. Ask God to fight these demonic forces that are bothering you. Even though Jesus is inside you you should still talk to him.

 

[knw1991]

Feeling very down

 

[knw1991]

Does God hear my cries for help? I can't take this anymore

 

[Spunkn]

I believe He does. What are you feeling right now that makes you want to give up?

 

[knw1991]

No matter how much I beg for help nothing happens. I tried to go about things slowly like you all suggested but I feel like I'm not doing enough and I can't reach God. I think the enemy took the message I received from my pastor and twisted it to torment me. He said that I would be a missionary but one morning I woke up wondering how I could ever have a family then. I was told that its possible. I don't know how to be what God may be calling me to be. I want to help others and help people who have are being sold into sex trafficking and help the poor etc. I can't even get my spiritual life off the ground, how could I ever help anyone and truly share a gospel that I don't feel secure in. How could I tell anyone about Jesus if I don't even know him?
I told God that I'm tired of hurting and barely making it through life. When will this end? Don't we deserve a chance to have joy?

 

[Viren]

No matter how much I beg for help nothing happens. I tried to go about things slowly like you all suggested but I feel like I'm not doing enough and I can't reach God. I think the enemy took the message I received from my pastor and twisted it to torment me. He said that I would be a missionary but one morning I woke up wondering how I could ever have a family then. I was told that its possible. I don't know how to be what God may be calling me to be. I want to help others and help people who have are being sold into sex trafficking and help the poor etc. I can't even get my spiritual life off the ground, how could I ever help anyone and truly share a gospel that I don't feel secure in. How could I tell anyone about Jesus if I don't even know him?
I told God that I'm tired of hurting and barely making it through life. When will this end? Don't we deserve a chance to have joy?

You don't have to reach God. He is always there. He said, "never will I leave or forsake you" Jesus was also a person of sorrows and understands what you're going through. It's at exactly these times that God desperately want to come in a heal you and show you his face.

 

[knw1991]

Thank you Viren how do I allow him to heal me. I've asked him to heal me but I always give up because it seems like nothing is happening or my prayers aren't going through. I look at some of the Christians who went to college with me and they are truly Christians and are joyful. They were able to have progress in their spiritual walk and connect with God. I have not, I felt forgotten and like an outcast around them and I still do. I feel forgotten, why couldn't God help me and connect with me when I tried to know him. It's been over 2 years and nothing has changed in my life spiritually. That's why I feel worthless and forgotten. What's the use in trying anymore, so I can be rejected again ? maybe I was never saved or I'm just not worth it

 

[knw1991]

It seems like no matter how sincere I try to make my prayer or how serious I am about my spiritual life, I get nowhere, I can't get ahead or find God, maybe it's just impossible for me. Sorry to be negative but that's how it seems, every time I try again I fail and get depressed. I don't know where I belong in the world. I struggle with fitting in and then when I try to find security in God I can't find it. I just won't try anymore. I guess I'm responsible to find purpose and take care of myself

 

[RuthD]

I don't know what to say. I'm feeling depressed, too. Merry Christmas to you. You are in my prayers.

 

[Spunkn]

No matter how much I beg for help nothing happens. I tried to go about things slowly like you all suggested but I feel like I'm not doing enough and I can't reach God. I think the enemy took the message I received from my pastor and twisted it to torment me. He said that I would be a missionary but one morning I woke up wondering how I could ever have a family then. I was told that its possible. I don't know how to be what God may be calling me to be. I want to help others and help people who have are being sold into sex trafficking and help the poor etc. I can't even get my spiritual life off the ground, how could I ever help anyone and truly share a gospel that I don't feel secure in. How could I tell anyone about Jesus if I don't even know him?
I told God that I'm tired of hurting and barely making it through life. When will this end? Don't we deserve a chance to have joy?

Nothing happens that you can see visibly, but each day we are changed in ways that we often do not notice. On TV and facebook, we see everything as being instantaneous, but that's not how things work. It takes time, and often you will take a few steps backward while trying to go forwards. I relapsed into depression so many times over the years I lost count. Even though I still deal with it at times, it's different now. I know it's exhausting and it's tiring, that's why it's so important to have people around you who can support you when you feel as if you can't go on.

I wouldn't worry about becoming a missionary right now, or a mission field such as sex trafficking. That doesn't mean those things won't come later, and perhaps God is preparing you for those things now, I don't know. You can help someone, because you know what it's like to feel hopeless and depressed. You know what it's like to not see anything but a dark cloud day after day. Many people experience that, and they have no hope. But when someone else knows what they've gone through it makes a difference. You don't have to be perfect to share the gospel. You don't have to know everything about God to share about Him. No Christian is perfect, we all have our flaws. God delights in shining through our weaknesses. He often picks the least qualified in order to carry out His will in order to show His power.

Telling others about Jesus doesn't always mean walking up to strangers and telling them about God. Sometimes it simply means making relationships and being a part of people's lives in a way that reflects Christ. That also doesn't mean you won't fail or have a hard time, because those come to everyone.

 

[emilie mayer]

Maybe you are suppose to be in ministry. But i dont think it would be right now while your a baby christian just learning so much yourself. Change doesnt happen overnight its a slow thing in most cases. When you recieve Christ its like a seed was planted. After awhile you start changing little by little sometimes we just cant see the growth. I do believe some people struggle longer than others but those people are learning patience and perseverance. Let me ask you a question. Have you ever seen a piece of paper on the ground in a public place and you walk past it. Then you think to yourself i need to go pick it up and put it in the trash so you go put it in the trash and you feel good inside? That could have been a test. I heard Joyce meyers say that little things like that is a way God gets us use to hearing Him and that He tests people that way. Once you start obeying the little things God has you do then He starts bigger ways in comunication. Does this make sense?

 

[knw1991]

Emilie, yes what you described does make sense.

 

[knw1991]

I'm scared of the future. Every time I pray it's like I don't think my prayers are being heard. I can't get out of bed because I don't see the point. My life is not worth living

 

[Spunkn]

Try and focus on one day at a time. When you're depressed it's easy to think you need to accomplish big goals right away, but that just leaves you feeling worse. Try and give yourself some smaller goals each day instead of worrying about the big ones right now.

It's okay to be afraid of the future. Most of the time I still feel like I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing and that I'm just stumbling along.

 

[knw1991]

I wish I could be happier around my family today but its hard to pretend to be happy

 

[jamesup7777]

Happiness has always been and will always be A Choice.

I wish I could be happier around my family today but its hard to pretend to be happy

 

[Spunkn]

I wish I could be happier around my family today but its hard to pretend to be happy

It's hard being around family when you're depressed. I used to avoid eating with the family, or disappear to a room on my own whenever I could. Just try and do the best you can. Try to engage in some stuff, but don't push yourself to be involved in everything. Take some time and space away for yourself so you don't get overwhelmed.