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Silver-winged Flyer

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I hate myself and I feel like life isn't worth living.
I am a Christian, go to church twice on Sundays and am involved in my church but God seems distant. I don't have any interest in reading the Bible but if I do I never get anything out of it, as if it doesn't relate to me. My prayers are routine. I have no close friends I can really talk to. I used to ask God for good friends for years but then gave up asking when He never provided.
 

s_gunter

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"Ask, and you shall receive."

I know that you don't know me, but I read your post and my heart goes out to you. I understand that it doesn't feel like this now, but you are not worthless, and your life is worth living.

I understand the feeling of not getting anything out of the Bible and that God doesn't answer. I also understand the feeling of it His promises, especially the good ones, applying to me too, I've been there, and it is very possible for me to get there again. But it's okay. This too shall pass (I can speak from experience here...) Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that that when He says all, he means all!

If you need someone to talk to, please PM me, or respond here. I do not know what you are looking for in a friend, but it's been my experience that people that search for friends like you are have been hurt by those that they thought were friends. Like I said before, you don't know me, but I am not judgemental (how can I be, when I have my own mistakes, sins, vices, etc?) I don't want to be judged but by the standard I have judged. So, I try my hardest not to judge at all...
 
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SFBUK

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TLB said:
I hate myself and I feel like life isn't worth living.
I am a Christian, go to church twice on Sundays and am involved in my church but God seems distant. I don't have any interest in reading the Bible but if I do I never get anything out of it, as if it doesn't relate to me. My prayers are routine. I have no close friends I can really talk to. I used to ask God for good friends for years but then gave up asking when He never provided.

Even though you probably don't feel like it, you are priceless. God made you for a unique purpose, and loves you very much, just the way you are - even though you feel so bad. He is your friend, and you don't have to do anything for him to accept you, even if you feel that others don't. Just hold on to that thought and know that he is with you even when it feels as if you are far away from him. He has you in his arms and things will get better.

:hug:

SFB
 
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UnitynLove

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Recently, the Lord gave me this Word for a meeting I was preparing for, and I believe He wants me to give it to you. He said:

"So many are in prison because they won't accept themselves. So many are so gifted and talented, but they won't express themselves because they fear rejection. They fear man. They fear what people will think.

I want to love My people, but they hold Me at arm's length and won't let Me really love them because they have been hurt by others. They fear I will reject them because of their weaknesses like people have. But I will never reject them. TELL THEM I LOVE THEM . Ask them to stop trying so hard to be acceptable to Me and to realize I accept them where they are. Tell them I don't want PERFECT PERFORMANCE from them. I want them to love Me and to let Me love them."

The Lord has been having me minister to the body of believers concerning how He looks for a perfect heart and not perfect performance. We will not impress God with our works unless our heart is pure. A lot of people think God won't use them until every area of their life is perfected. That type of thinking keeps people from allowing God to use them. He uses us in spite of us, not because of us. This doesn't mean that we should have a loose attitude and not desire to live a holy life. A person whose heart is perfect towards God is always going to earnestly and zealously desire to please God in all things. But we must also remember that Hebrews 4:15 teaches us that we do not have a High Priest Who is unable to understand and sympathize and have a fellow feeling with our weaknesses, infirmities and liabilities to the assaults of temptation, but One Who has been tempted in every respect as we are, yet without sinning. Verse 16 encourages us in light of verse 15 to draw near to God's throne and receive mercy for our failures and to go ahead and get grace to help us in our time of need. This is one of God's ways of saying He won't reject you because of your weaknesses or because of your mistakes.

Most of us have grown up on a "merry-go-round" of trying to please people so they won't reject us. We all have an inbred need to be loved. People usually love you based on your performance. If you do what they want you to do, they accept you. But if you don't, they reject you. This is the operation of human love, and none of us know how to do anything else until we taste of God's agape or His type of love that is not based on man's performance but is based only on God. He loves you and accepts you because He decided to, not because of what you do or do not do. Once again let me say, this doesn't mean you shouldn't desire holiness; but you'll never arrive at new levels of holiness if you think God rejects you and withholds His love every time you fail. Remember Hebrews 4:15-16. He knows you're weak. Admit you are and let Him help you anyway.

II Chronicles 16:9 says, "... the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong in behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward Him- " (KJV)

I Corinthians 1:27-29 says God purposely chooses the weak and foolish things of the world to confound the wise.

I would think (in my natural thinking) He would look for a perfect specimen—someone who has it all together; a strong person who would never fail Him or let Him down, but instead He looks for a person WHOSE HEART IS PERFECT TOWARDS HIM.

God desires to heal His people from past hurts caused by rejection. He wants you to know HE WILL NEVER REJECT YOU. He says in Matthew 11:28-30, "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." This is referring to those who are laboring at trying to be perfect and then beating themselves (with guilty feeling) when they fail.

Jesus was talking to the people who were trying to live under the laws of the Pharisees. It takes a lot to please a Pharisee, and they are still around today. I'm sure you all know one—someone who conveys to you the message, "I'll accept you if you perform perfectly and please me. I'll reject you and withhold my love if you don't." Jesus is not a Pharisee. He says in John 3, he that believes will never be rejected. Believe in Him, love Him and desire His will. You'll be off to a good start. He will bring you across the finish line. And remember, you may not be performing perfectly; but if you have a perfect heart towards Him, He counts you as perfect while you are making the trip. Oh yes, one main thing I need to say. "Be sure you are not a Pharisee." God has placed people all around you who need love and acceptance. Give it to them, and you'll help them to become all they can be.

 
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BOJAX

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TLB said:
I hate myself and I feel like life isn't worth living.
I am a Christian, go to church twice on Sundays and am involved in my church but God seems distant. I don't have any interest in reading the Bible but if I do I never get anything out of it, as if it doesn't relate to me. My prayers are routine. I have no close friends I can really talk to. I used to ask God for good friends for years but then gave up asking when He never provided.

I would be lying if I said that I did not ever feel this way at one point. As I am sure we all have at one time or another. But the best thing is to not solely focus on the things you are doing that you think will score you points with God. The thing is to develop a more personal relationship with God. Devote yourself to Him. Before you read the bible, pray. Ask god to minister to you through His spirit to help you gain as much knowledge and wisdom from what you are about to read. Place God first in your daily life. Don't worry about friends because people come and go. Believe me I know what this is like. God may want you all to himself before he brings someone into your life. He doesn't want you to be physically alone in the world (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Perhaps God want to train you and teach you to discern who your friends are and aren't right now. He doesn't want you to depend solely on people for things. I personally don't have a church right now either, but God is closer than ever. You can get close to Him by loving him with all you body, mind, strength, and then loving your neighbour as yourself. Keeping His commandments but most of all devoting yourself to Him. Might I suggest fasting for maybe 3 or 4 days? It is a great way to draw closer and deny yourself for God. It made such a HUGE difference in my life and I am sure I can for yours as well. Here's a site with a bit of info...http://www.kingdom-connection.org/

Don't give up! God has a purpose for your life and you are worth a little if God hand picked you to join Him in eternity! Don't let anything or anyone rob you of this!
 
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Silver-winged Flyer

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It's difficult to love my neighbour when I don't love myself.

I have one friend that does care but I can't trust him, I'm too scared of getting hurt. I can't change. This is who I am and I just have to accept it. Thanks for all your comments but I'm too tired to try and fight depression anymore.
 
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Mayflower1

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TLB said:
I hate myself and I feel like life isn't worth living.
I am a Christian, go to church twice on Sundays and am involved in my church but God seems distant. I don't have any interest in reading the Bible but if I do I never get anything out of it, as if it doesn't relate to me. My prayers are routine. I have no close friends I can really talk to. I used to ask God for good friends for years but then gave up asking when He never provided.
I use to feel that way all of the time. More and more though I am beginning to turn to God and He is leading the way for me. He loves you and He is listening to you and wants to come in and make it better but to be sanctified you must keep trying and asking God, talking to Him... He can just make you a world better. I know what it is like to not have many close friends either. God will provide though, if you just have faith... He is a beacon of light and as many shows have said, "Go towards the Light!";) Best Wishes to you. Please know that you are NOT worthless. There is something inside of you that just needs to be worked out. Don't give up. You have people praying for you. Lily:angel: :pray: :crossrc:
 
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trinitygrace

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TLB,

Please don't give up on your faith. God will provide you with friendships and close relationships. I will be praying for you. I think if you prayed for God to come close and give you a thirst for the Word, He will come through. "Ask and you shall receive". Please don't lose your faith TLB.

Continually praying for you,
TrinityGrace
 
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BOJAX

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TLB said:
It's difficult to love my neighbour when I don't love myself.

I have one friend that does care but I can't trust him, I'm too scared of getting hurt. I can't change. This is who I am and I just have to accept it. Thanks for all your comments but I'm too tired to try and fight depression anymore.

The solution to loving yourself is easier than you think. All you have to do is love God, spend your time with God and make Him your primary focus. Spend time in His word. Learn more about Jesus Christ and where he came from, why he came, what he did while he was on Earth, what he did at the cross. Then you will begin to know how much God loves you.

(John 3:16) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

Who you are now doesn't have to be who you will become unless you want to. It depends on how badly you want out. If you can't face your giants and talk to them rather than about them. They will defeat you every time.

I am going to be very blunt just now, but it is my job to tell you what you need to know, not what you want to hear...

Perfect love casteth out ALL fear...

(1 John 4:18) There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out all fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.

You are being tormented by your fears. Why? because your godly love, that is in you right now and has been in you ever since you accepted Jesus Christ as your saviour. when God poured His Spirit onto you is weak. God is love (1 John 4:7,8) If God is in you then His love is in you because God is love. Where there is no love, there is no God. Where there is no God there is no love.

Additionally...

Where there is no love there is fear. Where there is love there is no fear. Where there is fear, there is selfishness. Where there is selfishness there is fear. Fear is rooted in selfishness and vice versa. Selfishness is all about self-preservation. In your case. You want to preserve yourself because you don't want to get hurt again. The only relationship you will ever have that you will not get hurt from is a relationship with God. Why? Because God is perfect, people are not. People are fickle. People are wavering. We are born ruled by our emotions. How we feel dictates what we do. If we feel afraid we refuse to love. If we feel threatened we refuse to love. If we feel hurt or angry, we refuse to love.

Thankfully God is not like us.

This is why God gave us the Holy Spirit. This is why God gave us His Word. We as Christians are no longer guided by our emotions (and rightfully should not be). Emotions are feelings and feelings are of the flesh. We are to crucify the flesh...

(Galatians 2:20) I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live: yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

(Galatians 5:24,25) And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

When we begin to walk in the Spirit of God, which IS love. We no longer submit to the flesh. Our spirit will begin to rule our emotions. Our spirit will begin to take precedence over our flesh. When that happens. You will be immune to the things that would have defeated you when you were still operating in the flesh.

(Matthew 22:37) Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

This is the key to walking in love. Spend more time in God's Word and spend more time speaking or praying to Him. Remember, every thing you do is a seed. When you sow a seed of love you will reap love. In your case. If you want a friend you have to sow a seed of friendship by being a friend. If you want someone to trust you, you have to sow a seed of trust. If you want change you have to sow a seed of change.

Please read (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) and use that passage as a checklist to see if you are operating in true, godly, agape love.

I would also suggest reading (1 John 4:7-21).

Remember, we do not do things to seek gain. We do things to bless others. Love travels in one direction only. It went from God to you when He sent His only Son to die for you on the cross. That love came from God to you through His Spirit. Now it is up to you to take that and give it to others.

Please consider this as having a foundation of love is of fundamental imporrtance in your walk. If that foundation of love is not there then it will affect everything we do because the foundation of selfishness will be there. The two cannot abide together. It is either one or the other. One leads to eternal life, the other death.

(Deuteronomy 30:19) I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:
 
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trinitygrace

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Wow, awesome words Bojax! While reading your words the Holy Spirit really spoke to my heart. I will definitely read some of the scripture passages you suggested. Thanks for taking the time to post such wonderful, encourging words of Scripture.
 
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Silver-winged Flyer

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If I rededicate my life to God and nothing changes then what? I've been battling along on my own for too long, not letting Him take control of my life but it doesn't mean that I'll start feeling better once I've handed my problems back over to Him.
I've rededicated my life to Him often in the past but then something will happen and I'll be right back where I am now. I don't have the energy to keep going on anymore.
 
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BOJAX

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TLB said:
If I rededicate my life to God and nothing changes then what? I've been battling along on my own for too long, not letting Him take control of my life but it doesn't mean that I'll start feeling better once I've handed my problems back over to Him.
I've rededicated my life to Him often in the past but then something will happen and I'll be right back where I am now. I don't have the energy to keep going on anymore.

Thank you TG:), I could not have passed along anything if someone had not taken the time to tell it to me.

TLB. What you are feeling is understandable and believe it or not is common and normal based on the line of thinking you have chosen...

(I Corinthians 10:13,14) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

And you are right, neither you, nor I, nor anyone has the energy or strength to fight these giants. But Christ does...

(Philippians 4:13) I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

But that is only if you allow and accept Christ to abide in you. Christ cannot abide in you unless you allow Him. Also, Christ cannot abide in you if your Spirit is unclean so make sure it is clean.

(Galatians 2:20) I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.

(II Corinthians 7:1) Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.

(I John 1:6-9) If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not know the truth:
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.
If we say that we have no sin, we decieve ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

It is not enough to merely speak of our problems. Speaking of them doesn't do much. All we are doing is talking or describing our problems. But if we want the burdens removed we have to humble ourselves before the Lord and call out to Him for help. The Lord abhors the proud but He delights in the humble.

(James 4:7-10) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
Be allicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.

God will only acknowledge honest and sincere repentance. That's why it says in the passage to 'be allicted', 'mourn', and 'weep'. Only when one is humble and surrenders completely to God will God answer them and lift them up.

To often we fall because something happens and then we turn around and accuse God for not doing enough of something or not doing something at all. But you MUST remember that God has your ENTIRE life planned out. It is up to you to choose His plan or to stick with your own...

(Deuteronomy 30:19) I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live:

Remember, if we are true believers and God is living inside us, the only thing that separates us from God is OUR leaving.

(Romans 8:35-39) Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.
Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors thorugh him that loved us.
For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing I, or anyone else says to try to convince you will have any effect. Much less will God move in your life without YOUR consent and YOUR approval. It is going to take an honest effort on your behalf to seek God.

(Matthew 6:33,34) But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Those 'things' which happen to you are tests. They will always come as we live in a fallen world. But you cannot grow in Christ and be able to pass these tests if you do not go through with them. If you run off and come back, that first test you ran away from will be right there waiting for you. Much like a school test. If I do not pass the Grade 10 exam, I would not be able to face Grade 11. Someone in this forum, I do not remember who, gave this GREAT analogy. God's tests are like school tests. Much like school tests our 'teacher' will keep silent until the test is over. Don't be discouraged if you don't hear God's response right away. Sometimes no answer from God is the BEST answer from God. Our tests are not over until we either pass them. Running away from them only postpones them.

Think of your Spirit as ground, and God wants to build your life upon it. Usually when we build large buildings we do a geological survey of the ground to check if it meets the conditions and requirements for building. Think of those tests and trials that God send your way as His geological survey of your heart...

(Matthew 7:24,25) Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.


Our foundation in our heart must be the Word of God. God is looking for this type of foundation to build upon. The house built of the rock of the Word of God meets the requirements of God's survey. If we have a foundation of the flesh and of selfishness even a foundation against the Word of God...

(Matthew 7:26,27) And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.


Like the Word of God says before, it is all your choice (Deuteronomy 30:19).

You can't just say your problems to God and expect them to just go away and the test is passed. Likewise, you would not say to your examiner, 'Teacher I do not understand these problems, therefore, let me pass anyway.' Instead, study the Word of God and let it change your thinking. That is the only way to fight off negative thoughts which lead to negative emotions. Which lead to a negative will contrary to God's will. Which governs your actions and ultimately leads you to your negative destination which is death (hell). But when we use the Word of God and allow it to transform our way of thinking it will then change our emotions, will, actions thereof and our end destination which is the kingdom of God. You must take every thought captive, examine it and see if it is in agreement with the Word of God. Use the Word of God to fight Satan's attacks. You cannot fight Satan, the trials, the pain, the suffering by simply accepting Jesus and giving your problems to him. Satan works by speaking to us. By getting our thinking changed from the Word of God. All it takes is one word. Satan even uses scripture twisted, contorted, or even in the wrong place to do this. A person who is not in the Word of God would not know the difference.

(II Corinthians 10:5) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

That is the key. We must be transformed completely by the renewing of our mind. Not by simply accepting Jesus and telling all our problems to him. Mountains cannot be removed by talking about them but by talking TO them...

(Matthew 17:20) And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

It takes effort, belief and faith on YOUR part. Not just God's...

(Matthew 21:21) Jesus answered and said unto them, Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast unto the sea; it shall be done.

(Matthew 21:22) And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall recieve.

Remember this verse...

(Isaiah 26:3,4) Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength:

May you decide to choose life and to seek peace and pursue it.:wave:
 
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