Working Through Grief

[servant of Merciful Love]

This was received from a friend in an email; the source is unknown.

The focus is the loss of a loved one, but it can encompass the loss of friendships, jobs, health, home/property, limbs.... ANY MAJOR LOSS.

I post it in the hope that it will be a source of healing

What is Grief:

A Normal, Natural, and Necessary reaction to loss of any kind; especially the loss of a loved one.

When a loved one dies, you grieve their loss. Your grieving is a normal and natural reaction to your loss, and is necessary to the healing process. Jesus consoles us in John's gospel: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also."

Seek support, hope and healing from your faith, family, friends, and Church community. May the God of all consolation, mercy, and healing bless you with peace.

What are some normal grief reactions:

Grief is unique to each person, but there are some similarities. Grief affects us physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. You may feel:

Shock/Disbelief/Numbness
Loneliness/Emptiness
Fear/Anxiety
Anger/Hostility
Depression/Sadness
Lack of Purpose
Lack of Energy and Ability to Concentrate
Change in Eating Habits
Change in Sleeping Habits
Guilt/Regret
Jealousy of Others
Strengthen in Faith/Weaken in Faith
Relief
Survival/Healing/Acceptance

Reflections:

In order to experience healing, you have to experience grief.
Grief is the price we pay for love.
The sooner you feel, the sooner you heal.
Cry when you have to and laugh when you can.
Grief is a process and a journey.
You don't get over it (grief), but you do get through it somehow.
Pain is a part of healing.
Healing is making peace with your life.
Faith is the most important aspect of the bereavement process

Grieve and Hope:

After the death of a loved one, your life has been changed because of your loss. Over time, your grief will change too. It will soften.
You will not always feel as you do at this moment. Just because life has changed, doesn't mean it is ruined. There is HOPE and HEALING. First you must feel and grieve. To heal, you must express your sadness for as long as it takes. Accept the likelihood of pain.

Loss hurts beyond what words can express. In time and with hard work, the good days will begin to out number the bad days. You will survive this as many others have too. There is life after death for your loved one. That is our faith. There is also life after loss for you! The day will come when you will know deep inside that you have regained your sense of balance, journeyed through the grief process, and are ready to move on with a good and whole life. On that day, you will be a stronger person than you have ever been before.

How can I help someone who is grieving?


The Christian faithful comfort mourners with words of faith and support and acts of kindness.

1. Give them your listening presence. Support is based more on effective listening than on any words you may say.
2. Convey caring and genuine concern.
3. Give them permission to grieve and to express their feelings. Allow them to talk. Don't be afraid of their tears.
4. Remember with them. Share stories, memories, and photos. Use the deceased loved one's name.
5. Give children truthful information regarding death and use age appropriate words.
6. Offer continuing support. Especially offer support around holidays and difficult days: birthdays, anniversaries, and the anniversary of the death.
7. Visit, telephone, and write them. Grieving people need time alone also to remember their loved ones and to process their grief.
8. Avoid using cliches. Speak from your heart.
9. Offer to take the grieving person out for a little bit - store, restaurant, library, cemetery, etc.
10. Pray for them. Offer to attend church with them. Give them a book of poems and prayers.