This is a humorous article about work in today's society that I wrote a while back.
Work
Today was one of those rainy cloudy days that make you not want to get out of bed. You wake up; your hair is in knots your breath smells like something that came from a tomb. And all of a sudden you realize, hey you have to go to work one more time and punch the clock. I wonder where the term punch the clock comes from, I really dont think it has anything to do with a card. I think somewhere at a post office there was a group of people who were sick of going to work and took it out on the time clock. They all walked in and took turns punching the clock, thats rights jimmy give him quick left! I would prefer a back hand myself, or maybe a roundhouse kick. Could you see Bruce Lee taking out a time clock with some death blow at your work? I thought so, when in doubt kung fu never hurts any situation.
If you look at society today, work has changed drastically and the so-called Computer age was suppose to clear it all up. They told us that with computers coming on the scene, the average workweek would go from 40hrs to 35hrs. Well, they were 100 percent wrong; the average working week has turned in to 50 plus hours. If only my paycheck could get blown out of proportion the same way, then I could work 35hrs a week and get paid for 50. Maybe that much deserved vacation would get stretched out to a month on accident. Wow, boy am I glad computers cleared all of this work stuff up for us.
Air traffic controlers, I put my hat off to you because I know if I come close enough to shake your hand; my life is in danger. Someone who is as tightly wound as a steel spring might not be the person to get conftontational with. Seriously , they have one of the most stressful jobs you can have next to raising three hyper active kids in a house full of cool-aid. These people sit with coffee IVs in their arms and are forced to watch a round monitor all day long that resembles the window of their dryer. While they are doing this all the little yellow dots are flying by at a thousand nano seconds like some pong video game on steroids . I wonder how many points you would lose if two dots colide? I would probably say at least one point for every person that is on each flight, plus you have to had their frequent flyer points in. All in all they could cost someone lots and lots of money, the only up side for the airline is that all of those people on those two flights would never cash in on those flyer miles. When these air traffic controlers get home they probably spend the majority of their time trying to get the yellow dots to go away from their television reception.
Everyone wants the chance to work their way up the big corporate ladder, I think it leads up to a hay loft or something. Then when they get to the top they their big pitch fork and take the itchy hay and throw it on everyone else who is trying to get up. And as soon as they get too old for the job some board person simply walks over and kicks them out the loft window.
The average adult today will change professions at least five times, I know I have already gotten there at 21. Good grief, everyone is going to be a jack of all trades. I think we will be seeing mimes on the street someday that know how to weld, drive a bus, develop computer software, engineer a satellite positioning device, direct a choir and juggle. You might have a heart attack and a plumer could run up and save your life with the latest medical techniques due to his experience in brain surgery. The proper resume length will probably jump from one page to twelve, thats not including the sponsored comercials in between. Lets say you do actually go to school to get that big degree so you can get that big job where hay is thrown on you all day. When you go in for the interview with the resume, it can go a little different than you expected. I am sorry Mr. Needlenose; you just dont have the burger flipping experience we were looking for. Sure, you got bachelors degree in business but you did not acquire those flipping skills. So you go get a job at the bottom of the ladder and work your way up and the degree seems to matter a hill of beans because you needed experience.
Then there is those jobs that you think will be awesome and then two weeks later you look back and say;I got this job too easy. Hmmm, maybe there is a reason, most of the time there is a very good reason. There is a problem if you walk in the door, and the receptionist is foaming at the mouth. The propose of work is that we may enjoy the fruit of our labors, well sometimes you can get rotten bananas.
It is the innovative people that make new paths for success, even the guy that has his pet monkey climb palm trees to drop coconuts falls into that category. The guy that made the pet rock, you got to be kidding me, you can make money dressing up rocks people! The money is falling from the sky apparently, I guess thats only in Arkansas where the guy probably came from. I bet that president Clintons governor campaign was supported by the pet rock foundation, it makes me wonder if Mr. Potato head was backing up George bush at the time. If that is the case, then I know for a fact that peroes sole supporter was the mighty morphin power rangers.
Work
Today was one of those rainy cloudy days that make you not want to get out of bed. You wake up; your hair is in knots your breath smells like something that came from a tomb. And all of a sudden you realize, hey you have to go to work one more time and punch the clock. I wonder where the term punch the clock comes from, I really dont think it has anything to do with a card. I think somewhere at a post office there was a group of people who were sick of going to work and took it out on the time clock. They all walked in and took turns punching the clock, thats rights jimmy give him quick left! I would prefer a back hand myself, or maybe a roundhouse kick. Could you see Bruce Lee taking out a time clock with some death blow at your work? I thought so, when in doubt kung fu never hurts any situation.
If you look at society today, work has changed drastically and the so-called Computer age was suppose to clear it all up. They told us that with computers coming on the scene, the average workweek would go from 40hrs to 35hrs. Well, they were 100 percent wrong; the average working week has turned in to 50 plus hours. If only my paycheck could get blown out of proportion the same way, then I could work 35hrs a week and get paid for 50. Maybe that much deserved vacation would get stretched out to a month on accident. Wow, boy am I glad computers cleared all of this work stuff up for us.
Air traffic controlers, I put my hat off to you because I know if I come close enough to shake your hand; my life is in danger. Someone who is as tightly wound as a steel spring might not be the person to get conftontational with. Seriously , they have one of the most stressful jobs you can have next to raising three hyper active kids in a house full of cool-aid. These people sit with coffee IVs in their arms and are forced to watch a round monitor all day long that resembles the window of their dryer. While they are doing this all the little yellow dots are flying by at a thousand nano seconds like some pong video game on steroids . I wonder how many points you would lose if two dots colide? I would probably say at least one point for every person that is on each flight, plus you have to had their frequent flyer points in. All in all they could cost someone lots and lots of money, the only up side for the airline is that all of those people on those two flights would never cash in on those flyer miles. When these air traffic controlers get home they probably spend the majority of their time trying to get the yellow dots to go away from their television reception.
Everyone wants the chance to work their way up the big corporate ladder, I think it leads up to a hay loft or something. Then when they get to the top they their big pitch fork and take the itchy hay and throw it on everyone else who is trying to get up. And as soon as they get too old for the job some board person simply walks over and kicks them out the loft window.
The average adult today will change professions at least five times, I know I have already gotten there at 21. Good grief, everyone is going to be a jack of all trades. I think we will be seeing mimes on the street someday that know how to weld, drive a bus, develop computer software, engineer a satellite positioning device, direct a choir and juggle. You might have a heart attack and a plumer could run up and save your life with the latest medical techniques due to his experience in brain surgery. The proper resume length will probably jump from one page to twelve, thats not including the sponsored comercials in between. Lets say you do actually go to school to get that big degree so you can get that big job where hay is thrown on you all day. When you go in for the interview with the resume, it can go a little different than you expected. I am sorry Mr. Needlenose; you just dont have the burger flipping experience we were looking for. Sure, you got bachelors degree in business but you did not acquire those flipping skills. So you go get a job at the bottom of the ladder and work your way up and the degree seems to matter a hill of beans because you needed experience.
Then there is those jobs that you think will be awesome and then two weeks later you look back and say;I got this job too easy. Hmmm, maybe there is a reason, most of the time there is a very good reason. There is a problem if you walk in the door, and the receptionist is foaming at the mouth. The propose of work is that we may enjoy the fruit of our labors, well sometimes you can get rotten bananas.
It is the innovative people that make new paths for success, even the guy that has his pet monkey climb palm trees to drop coconuts falls into that category. The guy that made the pet rock, you got to be kidding me, you can make money dressing up rocks people! The money is falling from the sky apparently, I guess thats only in Arkansas where the guy probably came from. I bet that president Clintons governor campaign was supported by the pet rock foundation, it makes me wonder if Mr. Potato head was backing up George bush at the time. If that is the case, then I know for a fact that peroes sole supporter was the mighty morphin power rangers.
