Wonder If It's Too Late For Me

[boxman144]

I've been sinning nonstop lately. There's two sides in me fighting for control and I've tried praying months ago, got blessed, and I'm still sick mentally. My problem is that I don't want to change for the Lord. I want to keep my sin, but I don't want it at the same time. I just want to make it to Heaven. I don't care how bad I suffer now, I just want him to see me and know that it's not my fault. I was watching this video and got hit with a severe anxiety attack:

I just want to be okay for once. I want to rest and be at peace but I never am.

 

[Servus]

I've been sinning nonstop lately. There's two sides in me fighting for control and I've tried praying months ago, got blessed, and I'm still sick mentally. My problem is that I don't want to change for the Lord. I want to keep my sin, but I don't want it at the same time. I just want to make it to Heaven. I don't care how bad I suffer now, I just want him to see me and know that it's not my fault. I was watching this video and got hit with a severe anxiety attack:

14 We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:14-20

Ask Dr.Stanley; Can I Be Saved? Then Backslide And Lose My Salvation?

 

[Sketcher]

It's not too late for you, you can move closer to God and repent where you have failed to.

 

[Lost4words]

Offer all your sins etc to God. Lay them all at His feet. Daily. Ask Him to receive them.

He is love and mercy.

Jesus came to save sinners my friend. Never ever give up on God as He will NEVER EVER give up on you.

Stay strong. However many times you fall, get right back up and run to the open arms of Our Lord and God.

God bless you.

 

[Rescued One]

Life is hard.

The Full Armor of God

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. 11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. 14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; 15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; 16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. 17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

Pray Continually

God knows our struggles.

Psalm 51
10 Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
11 Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

Get thee behind me, Satan!

If you have to force yourself to obey God, do it. Have a plan. Do something good when temptation comes. Go to a store and buy something for a stranger, a relative or a neighbor (i. e. grocery store). Shovel someone's driveway or offer to mow their lawn. Clean the kitchen for your mom. Go shoot baskets or lift weights, etc.

 

[Par5]

I've been sinning nonstop lately. There's two sides in me fighting for control and I've tried praying months ago, got blessed, and I'm still sick mentally. My problem is that I don't want to change for the Lord. I want to keep my sin, but I don't want it at the same time. I just want to make it to Heaven. I don't care how bad I suffer now, I just want him to see me and know that it's not my fault. I was watching this video and got hit with a severe anxiety attack:

I just want to be okay for once. I want to rest and be at peace but I never am.

I watched the first couple of minutes of the video and then switched it off.
According to your profile, you are only 23 years old, and if you are going to listen to the fear-mongering type in the video, the guilt trip that you are currently on will only get worse.
I don't know what this "sin" is you say is bothering you. Is it an addiction you have? Drugs, pornography alcohol?
You have already said that praying hasn't worked, but praying is the lazy approach to trying to solve your problems, any problem. It puts the responsibility of fixing your problems on someone else while you sit back and wait for the result.
That's not how it works in the real world. You have to deal with your problems yourself. You can find plenty of organizations that can help you, and so you should, but their helping you depends on you having the courage to help yourself.
You are only 23, don't set yourself up for a lifetime of guilt and self-doubt. Grasp the nettle and take back control of your life.
I wish you well.

 

[tdidymas]

I've been sinning nonstop lately. There's two sides in me fighting for control and I've tried praying months ago, got blessed, and I'm still sick mentally. My problem is that I don't want to change for the Lord. I want to keep my sin, but I don't want it at the same time. I just want to make it to Heaven. I don't care how bad I suffer now, I just want him to see me and know that it's not my fault. I was watching this video and got hit with a severe anxiety attack:



I just want to be okay for once. I want to rest and be at peace but I never am.

I only saw 1 min. of the video, and I get the gist of it as related to a verse in Heb. saying "how shall we escape, if we neglect so great a salvation?" IOW, we can't be lazy about it.

I feel for you, because the first few years I was a Christian, I also had a guilty conscience and had no deep inner peace with God that I was searching for. All I could do was read scripture and try to apply it to my life. I had a few powerful encounters with God along the way, which helped me to endure. Eventually, the gospel really came together for me, and I finally obtained the deep and lasting peace with God I needed.

I just want to encourage you by saying the best things in life are the hardest to obtain. Paul said in Acts "through many tribulations shall we enter the kingdom of heaven." God made it this way to teach us an appreciation for the gift of eternal life and blessings. If it's instant gratification, we won't appreciate it. My advice is to keep on the path, and trust Christ to deliver you from your sins, as the Bible promises. Keep practicing the 4 Christian disciplines:
Bible reading, study, and memorization
Prayers
Fellowship with other Christians
Worship

And believe that God is with you in all of it.

 

[paul1149]

If you want peace, the way is to surrender. Lay all this out before the Lord, sin and warts and all, including your lack of willingness, in an honest confession. Ask His help. Tell Him you are willing to follow His lead in whatever steps you can take; ie, you are willing to become willing. God is faithful, and if you give Him something to work with, no matter if it's only a mustard seed of faith, He will use it to transform you.

He loves you with an everlasting love, and the way out of this crisis is to draw near to Him, not to run away.

 

[RestoreTheJoy]

I've been sinning nonstop lately. There's two sides in me fighting for control and I've tried praying months ago, got blessed, and I'm still sick mentally. My problem is that I don't want to change for the Lord. I want to keep my sin, but I don't want it at the same time. I just want to make it to Heaven. I don't care how bad I suffer now, I just want him to see me and know that it's not my fault. I was watching this video and got hit with a severe anxiety attack:

I just want to be okay for once. I want to rest and be at peace but I never am.

That video - what portion I watched - was all law and judgment...not Grace. Jesus FORGIVES. Jesus knows you aren't perfect and you will fall. For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again but the wicked shall fall by calamity.Prov 24:16.

Jesus called PETER, the one who denied Him 3 times, and ran away when Jesus was crucified, the one who would, when he turned back again (knowing full well , he was going the wrong way for awhile) would strengthen his brothers.

You are honest. That is a very good first step! Just keep telling the Lord honestly that you really want Him, but you also feel you want to keep doing what you are doing, that the spirit is willing and the flesh is weak. He knows.

Quit talking negativity, all that about failing and mental stuff blah blah blah that the world incessantly blathers on about. You are in a new Kingdom now, if you are born again. Jesus calls you what you are in HIM, not what you are in the flesh right now, which is a work of progress. You look pretty young too...there is SO MUCH ahead for you!

God called Gideon when he was cowering in fear in a cave...and what did He say to him (via the angel)? Did he say, "Hey, you weak sniveling whiner...get over here"? NO! He called him a "Mighty man of Valor". Gideon sure look like one at the time.

Whose report do you believe, as scripture says? Do you believe the report of the Lord, which calls you saved, healed and delivered as a believer? Above only and not beneath, the head and not the tail. More than a conqueror through Him who loved us? Or do you believe the report of the world that tells you you are sick and weak and lazy and can't get free.

The Word says "Let the weak SAY I am strong." Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

Say what the Word says...not what you see. Get in some good Bible-adherent fellowship with imperfect people who admit it. All of them will fall at times too, so you help pick them up; you don't judge them and they don't judge you. We are all on a journey and there are GOOD things ahead for you. Take them.

Guilt is NOT OF GOD. Never feel guilt, unless you sin. If you sin, then - the best explanation I have EVER heard by a wise preacher: "Repent, Quit it, forget it". If the God of the universe can't see your sins because they are under the Blood of Jesus, then who are you to keep bringing them back up?

 

[RedPonyDriver]

I just want to be okay for once. I want to rest and be at peace but I never am.

I understand. Sometimes you can't do this on your own. I'd recommend an excellent ministry called Celebrate Recovery. Through it, I have found healing for so many things including lifelong depression. If you're interested, please PM me and I'll get you all the information.

 

[Rescued One]

I watched the first couple of minutes of the video and then switched it off.
According to your profile, you are only 23 years old, and if you are going to listen to the fear-mongering type in the video, the guilt trip that you are currently on will only get worse.
I don't know what this "sin" is you say is bothering you. Is it an addiction you have? Drugs, pornography alcohol?
You have already said that praying hasn't worked, but praying is the lazy approach to trying to solve your problems, any problem. It puts the responsibility of fixing your problems on someone else while you sit back and wait for the result.
That's not how it works in the real world. You have to deal with your problems yourself. You can find plenty of organizations that can help you, and so you should, but their helping you depends on you having the courage to help yourself.
You are only 23, don't set yourself up for a lifetime of guilt and self-doubt. Grasp the nettle and take back control of your life.
I wish you well.

Praying doesn't cause guilt. When we sincrely ask in faith, God helps us. I know from firsthand experience. I don't ask Him to remove the temptation. I ask for His help in resisting it.

Psalm 1
1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly...

 

[Par5]

Praying doesn't cause guilt. When we sincrely ask in faith, God helps us. I know from firsthand experience. I don't ask Him to remove the temptation. I ask for His help in resisting it.

Psalm 1
1Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly...

What is it that happens in your life that causes you to ask for help in resisting it? What is it exactly that tempts you?
I ask this because I am curious to see if what you consider to be temptation is anything like what I would call temptation.
For example, once when I was trading in my old car for a newer model, I was sorely tempted to go for a BMW 6 series. It was a used car but in pristine condition with a low mileage. I had a test drive and it felt wonderful to drive, very powerful, very comfortable.
However, common sense overcame my initial enthusiasm when I seriously considered what I would be taking on.
My wife and I are pensioners and it is not a practical car for us. We could afford the repayments but it would have stretched our budget, Insurance rates for such a car are very high, and BMW serving costs an arm and a leg. Fuel in the UK is not cheap and a car that size is not particularly economic.
So, I settled for a much more modest and practical car.
Other temptations would be ice cream, strawberry cheesecake and apple crumble. Those are very difficult temptations to overcome and I have to confess to a high failure rate.

 

[Rescued One]

Temptations for Christians aren't always material things. The Bible tells not to take revenge, not to indulge in sinful acts, etc.

Philippians 2 NIV
14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky 16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.


Rev. 21:8 NIV
But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars--they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.

Psalm 119:11 NIV
11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

 

[Ignatius the Kiwi]

I can sympathize, being in a similar situation. Sin grips at our being and wants to claim us, no matter what it is. There are times we're I've resisted my particular thorn in the flesh but then most of the time I give in.

The worst thing to do is to despair. To give up completely. As long as you know what you're doing is wrong, you can be assured that at least your Christian conscience is working, advocating the right direction.

When we become truly lost to God is when we embrace our sin.

 

[tdidymas]

I've been sinning nonstop lately. There's two sides in me fighting for control and I've tried praying months ago, got blessed, and I'm still sick mentally. My problem is that I don't want to change for the Lord. I want to keep my sin, but I don't want it at the same time. I just want to make it to Heaven. I don't care how bad I suffer now, I just want him to see me and know that it's not my fault. I was watching this video and got hit with a severe anxiety attack:



I just want to be okay for once. I want to rest and be at peace but I never am.

Boxman, it would be nice if you responded to show you're at least reading the responses to your OP. Not to pressure you, though, I'm just giving a suggestion on how you might start reaching out to others.

I thought of one more thing. I think you ought to establish a new identity, one in Christ. This is done by reading the NT and taking it to heart for yourself. One example I thought of is Rom. 8:15 "For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'"

Sin is an addiction, and addiction is slavery. John 8:34 "Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who commits sin is the slave of sin." One way to look at it is, do you want to remain a slave of Satan, or do you want victory over the devil and sin? Only faith in Christ, as defined in the NT can lead you down that path of freedom.

 

[Par5]

I can sympathize, being in a similar situation. Sin grips at our being and wants to claim us, no matter what it is. There are times we're I've resisted my particular thorn in the flesh but then most of the time I give in.

The worst thing to do is to despair. To give up completely. As long as you know what you're doing is wrong, you can be assured that at least your Christian conscience is working, advocating the right direction.

When we become truly lost to God is when we embrace our sin.

I have already asked Old Lady what she considers to be temptation, aka sin, in her life. I found her answer to be rather vague.
Christians often give me the impression that they are going through life with a guilt complex, worrying about their every action, every deed, often needlessly I would imagine. It's not as though they are axe murderers.
You talk about your own particular thorn in the flesh and about being lost when sin is embraced, so what exactly is it in your life that makes you feel you are sinning?
I'm sure I go through life facing the same things as Christians, some things very mundane, others more challenging, and I don't believe that in my life I have done harm to myself, or more importantly, deliberately caused harm to others.
I too have a conscience, and putting Christian in front of it doesn't make it any different than a non-Christian conscience as far as I'm concerned.
tdidymas has just posted that only faith in Christ can lead you down the path of freedom, otherwise you are a slave to sin, a slave of satan. That would put me, as an atheist, in the "slave of satan" category.
If you don't feel like telling me what it is that causes you to stumble in life, then perhaps you might like to tell me what exactly you think I am embracing in my life that makes me a "slave of satan."