Women... what am I doing so wrong?

Nom De Guerre · Apr 10, 2011

Yeah, lol, I don't do the whole... let's be friends first thing, I jump right in and take what I want. I'll find out later if it's something I want to keep, likewise with her I'd imagine, but in the meantime she and I can enjoy each other's company.

Blueflamingos · Apr 10, 2011

miss-a said:
But I'm thinking God's put an invisible force field around me. It's as though I don't exist to single Christian men."

I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!

MacFall · Apr 10, 2011

Blueflamingos said:
miss-a said:

But I'm thinking God's put an invisible force field around me. It's as though I don't exist to single Christian men."

Click to expand...

I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!!

...If that's you in your profile picture, I find that VERY hard to believe.

Edwards1984 · Apr 10, 2011

MacFall said:
...If that's you in your profile picture, I find that VERY hard to believe.

Hey, lots of attractive female posters here on CF Singles. I don't find it hard to believe.

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

Ok wow this is blowing up.... First off a date does NOT mean getting romantic it means a set time in a certain day for you two to do something to get to know each other. That is why I don't get why if you give me your number that you don't want to get to know me that makes NO sense.

SECONDLY we have the ability to do this or that. Thats what happened when Eve ate that fruit. So for you to sit there and say don't talk to random women is not right. Who are you to say God didn't mean that to happen? Or maybe that is one of my chances for that women? God may have a women for you but we have the ability to say yes or no. I could have 5 women in front of my and the first one be Gods women for me but what if I like number 5 better? Do you see where I am going with this?

This whole thing drives me nuts and makes me not even want to have a relationship... It's all one big game.

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

Also I just went out to eat and seen one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen and guess what... I decided not to talk to her because of what most people said on here... and where did that get me?! NO WHERE. I feel like I went out of my way not to talk to her. I live with no regrets and well I regret not talking to her. How am I supposed to know if there is a chance for us if I don't say something? So I feel I have answered my own question.

Talk to a women if you find them attractive BUT talk to them like friends don't make it obvious that your just talking to them because they are attractive. Yes some of you have some good thoughts and advice but for the most part this thread is becomes a CF war soo... can we close it?

BranwenUerchLlyr · Apr 10, 2011

ab8907 said:
Also I just went out to eat and seen one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen and guess what... I decided not to talk to her because of what most people said on here... and where did that get me?! NO WHERE. I feel like I went out of my way not to talk to her. I live with no regrets and well I regret not talking to her. How am I supposed to know if there is a chance for us if I don't say something? So I feel I have answered my own question.

Talk to a women if you find them attractive BUT talk to them like friends don't make it obvious that your just talking to them because they are attractive. Yes some of you have some good thoughts and advice but for the most part this thread is becomes a CF war soo... can we close it?

If she is one of the most beautiful women you've ever seen, she probably gets it all the time. If she is anything like me or most women I know, she would consider it a bother that some random person is trying to get a number from her while she's eating her dinner. I doubt you had to go out of your way to not talk to a stranger in a restaurant--the social norm is not to bother other people at dinner.

Also, it is obvious you have free will to talk to whomever you like--no one indicated to the contrary. What I've been saying is that your complaint--that bothering random women rarely gets you anywhere--is exactly on point to what you'd expect from that method. By all means, talk to these women if you want to, but don't be surprised or complain here when it doesn't work.

Do you ever meet women whom you actually have a good reason to talk to? For instance: you're a writer and you met a woman through a friend who is a writer too, you're a fan of David Lynch movies and you notice a woman in line infront of you buying one, you're a runner and you notice another runner who frequents the same route you do? Actually having a good reason to talk to someone will boost your chances. Being hot is not a good enough reason.

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

shes a waitress. she wasn't just eating dinner because if she was yeah that would have been weird. Also how can you say she get hit on all the time? Yet even if she does that mean I shouldn't try? And I should take the chance that she finds me attractive? lol I mean come on people look what your saying

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

I am not bothering the women I am talking to them like a normal person and holding a normal conversation. and if it goes good I simply ask hey can I get your number I would like to hang out some time. and shes like yeah with a smile and writes it down for me. I guess that bothering them tho ... sorry i guess i am wrong

Blank123 · Apr 10, 2011

can I ask how old you are?

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

the whole thing I was complaining about is when a women is in to me and is talking to me and texting me then just randomly stops. Thats what makes me mad and made me come on here and ask all that because that just doesnt seem right. but I am done with this thread this is getting out of hand

40creek · Apr 10, 2011

22 hhhmmmmm........yes. That was a tough time. I do remember even though that was 22 yrs ago. My friend. Most women at 22 want fun, freedom, and no obligations.
Have fun man. Don't push for an obligation, commitment, or even a second date. If the lass likes you they will call. If a connection was made they will press the issue. Don't you do it.
Have fun today and tommorow have fun today. Anxiety is as readable as a book and will chase off the opposite sex faster than a bad hair day so just make up your mind right now that you are not looking for commitment. Just a date. Suttely give them the impression of this lack of commitment when suggesting the date.

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

I turn 22 end of this month. I don't really want to hear the whole your young stuff either you know nothing about me only from what you read on here. I like to hear advice but when it's advice that is meaningless and thrown at me it makes me mad.

Blank123 · Apr 10, 2011

ab8907 said:
I turn 22 end of this month. I don't really want to hear the whole your young stuff either you know nothing about me only from what you read on here. I like to hear advice but when it's advice that is meaningless and thrown at me it makes me mad.

defensive much? I just asked how old you are.

ab8907 · Apr 10, 2011

I am defensive because 90% of people who ask that question in a conversation like this are going to judge and say something about my age. So that is why I am. Not in a great mood right now so I apologize

OGM · Apr 10, 2011

ab8907 said:
I am not bothering the women I am talking to them like a normal person and holding a normal conversation. and if it goes good I simply ask hey can I get your number I would like to hang out some time. and shes like yeah with a smile and writes it down for me

the whole thing I was complaining about is when a women is in to me and is talking to me and texting me then just randomly stops.

These women could be having conversations going on with several guys simultaneously. As they meet new people they maybe not contacting some of the other ones. Also age is a factor because I assume many of these women are very young and thus may act different in many ways than a woman that is 30, for example.

Rhye · Apr 10, 2011

dnp200450 said:
....]

Dnp, I just realized I completely confused you with the OP when I answered your question yesterday. Sorry about that. Looks like I have too much on my mind, I keep doing this lately with everything.

Blank123 · Apr 10, 2011

ab8907 said:
I am defensive because 90% of people who ask that question in a conversation like this are going to judge and say something about my age. So that is why I am. Not in a great mood right now so I apologize

No offense taken, but to be perfectly honest with you, I wasn't even thinking about your age until you started blasting people in here because we didn't give you the advice you liked and because you got angry that not talking to a woman got you the same results as talking to a woman. It just seemed like you were throwing a temper tantrum because we didn't magically solve your problems for you.

I know you won't want to hear this, but it sounds like an entitlement mindset which usually accompanies young age. And before you take offense... look at my age - I'm not that much older than you. So this isn't a case of looking down on you because you're young. It's a word of warning about your attitude coming off as extremely young. And its not attractive. That is something you *can* control and work on.

It may be that kind of attitude which turns women off and why you haven't gotten anywhere yet. So perhaps it'd be more helpful to your own situation if you took a good hard look at how you're coming across to people rather than get angry at the women who aren't dating you or the anonymous internet people who aren't fixing your problems.

OGM · Apr 10, 2011

Ethnog said:
Dnp, I just realized I completely confused you with the OP when I answered your question yesterday. Sorry about that. Looks like I have too much on my mind, I keep doing this lately with everything.

No problem Sister; it was a very late night or very early morning...depending on where you are I have made the same mistake lately because I am out not sure how to use the multi-thread function. Would you know how?

40creek · Apr 10, 2011

Ab8907
I think you really need to get out and run. Push some weights for a while, something. You are wound up way too tight. Could it be that this desperation is comming through when you are trying to score a date? Really, I am not trying to insult you. I just read your posts and I can't help but feel the tension. I'm 6ft 4 and 245lbs and can honestly say that I would not want to have coffee with you. You don't put people at ease, you put them on guard. Now this may not be your norm. but just from this thread I am willing to bet this tension is your greatest handi-cap.

Women... what am I doing so wrong?

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