witnessing - why is it so hard???

[Sunrise78]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this board. I am 27 years old, just recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I love the Lord and I have a deep desire to serve Him in any way that He wants me to ... however, I have great difficulty talking about my faith or about the Lord with other people, especially if I am required to somehow figure out how to fit it into a conversation (which is the usual way things work).

I do not generally have trouble when someone directly asks me a question about Jesus or about my faith. Neither do I have trouble writing about these topics. I am currently working on a website and have written meditations on God's Word that I am currently starting to share with others.

However, when I am required to figure out how to "work it into a conversation" I fail almost every time. This leaves me greatly discouraged. I think "if I really believed, I would have more courage and be bolder in my faith." But God has worked in my life so awesomely in the past ten years or so that I cannot hold the position that "I really don't believe."

I guess witnessing just seems to be too much of a social activity, these days, and for me that just seems to be a nightmare. Sometimes I wish that I could just quit my job and go into some sort of ministry where I wouldn't have to "beat around the bush", and where I wouldn't have to sit around day after day and see all the people headed toward hell all around me and not be able to do anything about it.

Maybe I take everything way too literally, I don't know ...

A few weeks ago was the first time I witnessed to one of my close friends from high school. I had this perfect peace about it because I knew that the Lord wanted me to do it and I was being very direct. But how do you do that otherwise?

I am just so very confused and sad. I know that I am really not as faithless as I feel ... I try to speak about the Lord whenever I get a clear opportunity, especially to my family members and close friends ... but I am always so devastated when I fail. It just destroys me inside to know that some people who I have known for years don't even know what Jesus means to me, and what does that say about me? And how do I tell them now after all these years? It's like a neverending cycle.

I know this is kind of confusing ... it is hard to explain, I guess. I hope no one misunderstands what I am saying ... Thank you for listening, anyway ...

Sunrise

 

[createcoms]

Remember that witnessing involves the holy spirit's influence upon yourself and on the mind of the person whom you are witnessing to. If Gods will is not for it to be one of those classic evangelical moments then no amount of seasoned-veteran witnessing skills is going to have an effect on that person.

Personally, I feel the best way I can "witness"is not through finely sharpened conversations but by focusing on my walk with God - tackling those issues he puts in front of me. This sort of thing eventually gets noticed by people around you, and then you don't need to say much at all because they've already witnessed your walk in action.....

 

[Sunrise78]

Remember that witnessing involves the holy spirit's influence upon yourself and on the mind of the person whom you are witnessing to. If Gods will is not for it to be one of those classic evangelical moments then no amount of seasoned-veteran witnessing skills is going to have an effect on that person.

Personally, I feel the best way I can "witness"is not through finely sharpened conversations but by focusing on my walk with God - tackling those issues he puts in front of me. This sort of thing eventually gets noticed by people around you, and then you don't need to say much at all because they've already witnessed your walk in action.....

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I suppose I was just venting ... and wondering if anyone else struggles with this as I do.

In addition, I never feel as though I am worthy to witness, because sometimes I go with the flow of the world too much. I am terrified of rejection to the point of panic attacks. I know that someone will probably quote Scripture to me at this point and tell me that I should fear God more than I fear man, but I am well aware of that fact. The problem is how to do that when your mind goes blank and you are shaking and sweating and feeling like you want to cry.

So it just feels like an endless cycle, with fear leading to sin leading to lack of witness, leading to fear ... it is probably way more complicated than that, actually, but that is what it seems like now ...

And with Asperger's try to explain all these feelings with spoken words ...

I hate grieving the Lord the way I do, in things that other people might consider little things, but that grieve Him just the same ...

Can anyone relate to any of this at all?

Sunrise

 

[messedupkid]

i have AS too, and i feel pretty much the same as you about witnessing.

these are a few things that i try to remember, to make me feel less bad about it.

1. churches are mainly made up and run by people who don't have AS and don't even have a clue what it's like to be autistic. so they just say 'go out and witness' because it's so easy for them to relate to other people. sometimes they have to overcome a bit of shyness or embarrassment, so they tend to see our difficulty with other people as the same kind of thing ... but of course it isn't overcome just by being brave. church leaders need to value diversity in their churches and not expect everybody to be able to operate in the same way.

2. witnessing isn't just talking to people!!!!! even the way your faith has helped you to cope with AS is a witness in itself. sometimes when i tell people for the first time that have AS they say "i wouldn't have guessed", so i just say something like "that's because believing in Jesus helps me to behave more acceptably".

3. we can still do loads of other things that help to spread the gospel. in fact people with AS have the advantage that we often have specialized abilities and we can stay focussed on tasks better than most people. the thing that i'm good at is software and i've written progs that have been really useful to bible translators. i'm sure there's something like that that you can do.

4. being prayed for is a major part of people getting saved. i find that having AS makes it easier to spend time with God (not so distracted by other people ...) and that's where things really get changed in the world.

So please don't let other christians make you feel bad about the effects of a disability they can't understand. just go on with God and serve him with the unique gifts that he's given YOU. spoken witnessing is NOT the be all and end all of christian commitment!

 

[we5frogs]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this board. I am 27 years old, just recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. I love the Lord and I have a deep desire to serve Him in any way that He wants me to ... however, I have great difficulty talking about my faith or about the Lord with other people, especially if I am required to somehow figure out how to fit it into a conversation (which is the usual way things work).

I do not generally have trouble when someone directly asks me a question about Jesus or about my faith. Neither do I have trouble writing about these topics. I am currently working on a website and have written meditations on God's Word that I am currently starting to share with others.

However, when I am required to figure out how to "work it into a conversation" I fail almost every time. This leaves me greatly discouraged. I think "if I really believed, I would have more courage and be bolder in my faith." But God has worked in my life so awesomely in the past ten years or so that I cannot hold the position that "I really don't believe."

I guess witnessing just seems to be too much of a social activity, these days, and for me that just seems to be a nightmare. Sometimes I wish that I could just quit my job and go into some sort of ministry where I wouldn't have to "beat around the bush", and where I wouldn't have to sit around day after day and see all the people headed toward hell all around me and not be able to do anything about it.

Maybe I take everything way too literally, I don't know ...

A few weeks ago was the first time I witnessed to one of my close friends from high school. I had this perfect peace about it because I knew that the Lord wanted me to do it and I was being very direct. But how do you do that otherwise?

I am just so very confused and sad. I know that I am really not as faithless as I feel ... I try to speak about the Lord whenever I get a clear opportunity, especially to my family members and close friends ... but I am always so devastated when I fail. It just destroys me inside to know that some people who I have known for years don't even know what Jesus means to me, and what does that say about me? And how do I tell them now after all these years? It's like a neverending cycle.

I know this is kind of confusing ... it is hard to explain, I guess. I hope no one misunderstands what I am saying ... Thank you for listening, anyway ...

Sunrise

First of all, I have no doubt that God is looking down and smiling, just to hear you say that your desire is to serve Him in any way He wants you to! What an amazing thing, for you to be so willing to even move out of your comfort zone if you think that is what He wants.

The thing is, that just as when you witnessed to your friend - if this is what the Lord requires of you, then He will equip you to do it, and give you that same peace you felt then. If there is someone who the Spirit has been working on, softening the heart and the mind to hear the Good News, and you are there in the midst of it, He will give you the words.

On the other hand, you need to remember that what He requires of us does not look exactly the same for each of us. We have each been given gifts, and no one has them all, and there are no two gifted exactly alike.

Perhaps you have not been given the gift of evangelism. That is ok. You obviously have other gifts, like those needed to put together your website and write about what He has done for you. Or perhaps you do have a gift for evangelism, but yours is written rather than verbal.

Only God knows what plans He has for you, but I know absolutely and for sure that whatever He asks you to do will not cause you panic, but rather will make you filled with joy.

My son, who is 16 and has AS, will not speak to anyone he doesn't know due to the panic it causes. He could never get up and give a speech or speak in front of a group, even those he knows. However, God has given him a gift for music, and He loves to write music that tells about His walk with God, and when he plays and sings at church or at school, he never once feels anything but strength and calm, which he says he knows is from the Lord. He then tells the folks that listen that the Lord gave him this ability to help himself, but also to share it, and that he knows he is to use it to serve Him. It has opened doors for those he meets to come and ask him questions, and then he can talk about what the Lord has done in his life.

The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what others expect of you, and we often are unsure oursselves about what we think He wants. But God will show us clearly what He expects of us, He will equip us to do it, and in the meantime, we can live our lives in a way that spreads the gospel wherever we go. Lives can be won to Him without our ever speaking. As St. Francis said, "Preach the Gospel, if necessary, use words."

 

[Accepted]

I suffer from High Functioning Autism, and I find Witnessing very difficult. However, I think everyone finds it hard. It is not just a social exercise, but a spiritual one. Even people who are really good at it had to learn how to witness, and how to improve.

I was greatly helped by a book by Rebecca Manley Pippert "Out of the saltshaker -evangelism as a way of life", which appeared back in the late seventies (see how old I am, and how long I've struggled with this). The great thing about this book is that it takes a lot of the pressure off. Witnessing is not simply about finding the right words, or having the conversation. It is about who you are, and living that out. It is about making Jesus part of everything you do, so that you talk about him naturally.

But outreach has been greatly used by God to help me with HFA (turning the subject on its head). Following his command to go, I made the effort on many occasions. I've put myself in places that I'd rather not have done. I've made myself get involved. I've forced myself to overcome limitations due to HFA. I've had NT people say to me that they could never attempt the things that I've tried (I think that was a cop out on their part, trying to excuse the inactivity).

HFA will always be with me, so I always have to battle it. But the battle is worth it. I've learnt social skills which a lot of NT people struggle to attain. This has been the power of God in my life - costly and requiring commitment. The battle does not get any easier either. But so long as I know I'm pressing forwards, I also accept my limitations. Maybe I will not be a great soul-winner; someone who can lead lots of people to Christ. But I can play my part. I can support others as they lead people to Christ. I can say something to non-christians when the opportunity arises. I can act out of llove for Jesus rather than HFA-based fear.