Wishing to change the past....

[72_Chev_Truck]

I wrote this and posted it several months ago. I decided to bring it back for those who havnt read it. enjoy



I have thought a lot lately about my past. I've dug deep into all the pain and anguish. Before I became a christian I wished i could have changed things. I thought about all the nerdy things I did, all the screwups I had made, the people I didnt make friends with because they were too cool. I wished I was the kid that everyone hung out with, I wished that I didnt have a dislike for sports such as basketball, football, baseball and such. I wished I was the star in the big show.

After I became a christian, all these thoughts had changed. I'd started thinking what in my past has lead me to this point in time. What would have happened if I had changed this about myself or had taken the other path this one time. I play back the memories, both good and painful and realized that without pain and suffering, there will be no victory. I wouldn't say that I have suffered as much as some, but to me getting picked on everyday at school, wanting to commit suicide, having the girls act like they liked me and then make fun of me when i actually thought they were serious.... These were serious things in my mind. I wanted to be wanted.
Ive come to realize that if I was the cool kid, I wouldnt have been sympathetic to those in need or in poor spirit, I wouldnt have needed Jesus to save me because I was too cool for that and would never have a broken spirit. I would have felt invincible. If I hadn't been sexually active at age 16 and gotten my heart broken severely, I would have been going to the clubs and bringing home random girls.

At one point in time I think everyone has wished that they could go back in life and change something. Whats in the past is in the past, there is no use beating yourself up for anything that happened. Besides that, if your past changes, your future changes. Just think Back to the Future.

If Jesus had given up when he was persecuted, if he had committed one sin, JUST ONE, if he hadn't followed Gods plan for his life. We would be the ones walking the wrong path. We would fall short of the glory. We would not enter heaven. The repercussions would be endless.

Next time you wish you could have changed your past, think over, think of what got you to here and now.

 

[gizmo03]

I always find myself looking on past experiences and things that have went on. I don't regret any of it and wish it never happened- I believe things happen for a reason.

But if I did have the chance to go back and do the same things again I would do them, but I would be sure to go about it differently. Do a lot of things that should of been done and said, that I regret never doing. But like I said before, I believe things happen for a reason, so maybe it's best to leave things they were left, less heartache and pain that way.

 

[Glorianna]

Everything in our past has shaped us into who we are today. Sometimes I find myself regretting things, but then I remember that I wouldn't be who I am today if I hadn't done those things. So in the end, I'm glad that I have done those things. I've definitely learned and changed from them and that's all that matters to me!

 

[plum]

thanks for sharing this again, John

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

thanks for sharing this again, John

no problem, i couldnt find it in my posts anywhere so i had to copy paste from a file that i saved with all my CF special posts

 

[wolfiswill]

This is something that I have been thinking a lot of lately.I also faced a lot of rejection and hurt in high school and things at home were hard as well. As hard as that was, and it can still be hard, I thank God for what he has taken me through. I have also been hurt a lot by girls, but I know that God has someone out there. Everything happens for a reason. I want the things that happen in my life to draw me closer to Him.

 

[Highland Watchman]

Yes, thank you for sharing this. It does definitely ring true.

I think we all have things in our past that we long to have lived differently, and we can find ourselves reliving the past and playing the "what if" game... but guess what? Praise be to God that HE has released us from the bondage of that past, and given us new life, and that life in abundance!

I praise God every day for my past. I praise Him for the persecution that I faced in highschool, and for my constant failure in the relationship scene. I praise Him that there has been no place that I can truly call home, and also that He has placed a call upon my life. I praise HIM that for everything there is a season, and that the things that do not destroy me seem to only make me stronger, because I have been led through them. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and my past is only one tool that I have been given to stand as a witness...

Consider, brothers and sisters... how many of us were great in the world's eyes when God called us? How many of us were rich, or popular, or influential? How many of us can say that we do not need someone like Jesus who comes into our darkness and draws us into the Light! For this is the wisdom of God, which is considered foolishness to the world: that HE has chosen the weak things of the world, the things despised and cast aside, in order that the idols and the great ones may be put to shame... For is it not the outcasts that are close to God's heart? Is it not those with checkered pasts that God tells "I forgive you. Now go, and sin no more."? Is it not those who are blind who receive sight? Hallelujah. For we serve a Great God, who knows what HE's doing, even though we may not have a clue!

As a song that I know of states as its title and chorus, "Sieze the day!" amen.

 

[VivDaGurl]

After knowing the consequences for doing what I've done in my past, I just wish to change my past by winding the clock back to change Vivienne's History. I used to wish that God would have shown me my future so I know that what I'm about to do is wrong and I shouldn't do it. Now, I'm glad for that because it had changed my viewpoint towards a lot of things and had also helped me to be a better person.

 

[kelco]

I've always had this thought in the back of my mind. What if I hadn't done all the things in my past that I regret and am ashamed of. What if I were pretty instead of ugly, what if I were smart or cool or all the things in this world I've longed to be. What if's are just that. If I were all the things I've always wanted to be who could guarentee that my other "now" would have turned out any better.

 

[boilerblues]

Amen!

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

Amen, VivDaGurl! I feel the same way. If I had known then what I know now, I would have changed alot of things; however, even with that said and I know the consequences of the sins I commited in the past, my past experience has helped shape me into the woman I am today. I honestly don't think that if I had not fallen away from God for as long as I did, I would not strive daily to be a set apart woman for Him. I think I would have taken my salvation for granted. I can now speak to young people about the dangers, both physically and emotionally/mentally, of sexual immorality. I was a rabid pro-abortion activist, so I now have insight to the lies the abortion industry tries to tell people and now I can speak on behalf of those who don't have a voice or a choice. I was into drugs so I know the dangers of drug abuse. If I had not made those mistakes in my life, I don't think I would be able to minister to others about them. Praise God I am a constant work in progress and that when I stumble, He is always there to pick me up and show me a way to turn my bad experiences into positive witnessing opportunities.

 

[Sketcher]

I can definitely everyone's point about the experience arming us to deal with certain issues, but when you've gotten addicted to something and haven't lost that addiction yet, it's hard for me to take that position. While I have learned some things, I truly wish I had never gotten in this mess in the first place. It is still destroying me.