Winter Weather

[JosephThePoet]

A snowfall can be wondrous and a joy to behold
Or a cause of great problems even leading to death
When it’s light and without wind most will enjoy this
But when it’s heavy and raging we’ll try to avoid it

During a light falling snow we’ll seek pleasure within it
The tranquility of a walk then is good for the soul
With the light falling flakes covering all things
It’s like exploring a peaceful and magical kingdom

The freezing rains that occur can create so much beauty
But it is freezing rain and ice brings its dangers
Whether it’s light or is heavy we don’t like being in it
And it’s too slippery for safe travel whether by car or on foot

When nature is ice covered all things shine like great crystals
And when the sun strikes this wonder the glitter is dazzling
So when a light icing falls you better be quick to enjoy it
Because soon it will melt or be covered by snow

Whether it’s a light dusting of snow or a light freezing rain
The magic and wonders can be glorious and joyful
But watch for the dangers that come with the excesses
Never doubt natures powers to cause death and destroy

 

[Celestina321]

Hum ... I like the concept, trying to contrast the good and bad of winter weather. I hesitate to give consructive criticism to a "published" poet, but I guess you wouldn't be here if you didn't want some feed back, even from us unpublished folks ... right?

So here goes:

I think you can actually make this better by trying to say more with less words. Right now it is just a bunch of ideas about the pros and cons of winter. You glance by some of the intense emotional possibilities. Go back to your basic senses, sight, sound, feel, taste, smell. Do some pre-writing describing each of these senses from both the pro and con side of the experience focusing on the emotions evoked.

Think about specific experiences. You mention the possibility of death. Have you ever witnessed death or injury caused by say maybe a car accident as the result of icy roads. Do you know someone who has? Ask them to tell you the story, and how it felt ... the fear, the chaos, etc.

Think about the times you have walked in snow, again, you do mention that here, but again it is more a glancing blow, not a in depth expression of how that moment changed you. I guess I want more emotion, more depth. Maybe think of more extreme times in the snow. Have you walked in deep snow, like up to your thighs? Ski? Slead? Iceskate? Ever feel the numbing pain after coming in from the cold? If not, again, ask those who have to describe the extreme moments.

Anyways, once again I do love the concept and the themes that you address. But as a reader I want more emotion, I want to feel the cold, its glory and it damage.

Thanks for sharing this!

 

[JosephThePoet]

Thanks for your comments. Posting some of my poems allows people to read them and choose whether they wish to buy my book, and some of my poems have values involved that may encourage some people to live a more Christian life. As the title says, it is about winter weather not my personal experiences in winter. You may wish to read some more of my poetry because some of them address some of my own experiences, including living outside in winter.