Will your love for one another gradually fades?

[IvanOng]

As far as I can see, many friends around me have broken up, and straight fast after that, they have new girlfriends/boyfriends.

Why is this happening so oftenly, are they tired/sick of seeing each other? True loves never fade or what? Im a single thou, and I hope to find out from couples here...

So frequent contact between couples would be good or bad? Too much seeings between each other = boring and dull or the opposite? Which way is better?

Can the feel of strong love from both in the start, maintains all the way till the end? IS it very hard?

 

[Briseis]

Most young ppl these days dont learn what a relationship means due to wordly influences such as TV. A relationship can last with help from God and reading the Bible. It doesnt necessarily mean that they just got sick of each other. But it could if they chose their bf/gf poorly. Good choices can also be made through help fromGod and the Bible. Love can last forever but it takes work. Throughout life there are a lot of trials, like the vows say, "For better and for worse. In sickness and in health." But love can last through all of it if you want it to.

 

[ItalianAngel]

As far as I can see, many friends around me have broken up, and straight fast after that, they have new girlfriends/boyfriends.

Why is this happening so oftenly, are they tired/sick of seeing each other? True loves never fade or what? Im a single thou, and I hope to find out from couples here...

So frequent contact between couples would be good or bad? Too much seeings between each other = boring and dull or the opposite? Which way is better?

Can the feel of strong love from both in the start, maintains all the way till the end? IS it very hard?

Hi IvanOng,

you pose a very good question. Here's my take on it:

When a relationship begins, everything is so exciting. That euphoric feeling of love is so strong, so wonderful. You want to spend every moment with this person. Everything they say and do is just so marvelous.

Unfortuantely these euphoric feelings won't last forever. Once the "newness" wears off, that's when the real work comes in and the real love that is deep and lasting. Some couples come to the conclusion that just because the "WOW" factor cooled down in their relationship, then they don't love each other anymore. So they break up, find someone new and have those wonderful beginning feelings again, only to have those feelings eventully cool off and the pattern starts all over again. What they fail to realize is that love is a choice. You have to wake up every day and make the choice to love this person, because if you rely on your feelings alone, you're going to be disappointed.

I do think that it's not healthy for couples to spend every waking moment together. Even when you (you meaning in general) are part of a couple, you are still your own individual person and you should spend time away from each other, and maintain intrests outside from each other.

blessings,
~Michele

 

[Angeldove97]

It really depends on what you two are looking for in a relationship, how each of them needs to be loved, and their type of personality. I'll give you two examples from my life...

Example A: My boyfriend and I dated for a year, prior to that we had worked together and chatted once in awhile online. We went on about two or three dates before we decided that we'd like to be boyfriend/girlfriend. He was a Christian, had a wonderful family and upbringing, worked hard, great sense of humor, same beliefs, yada yada yada. So why after a year of dating did we break up?

This boyfriend of mine needed to be loved a certain way, which I was happy to do.. he needed alot of space and time by himself, he needed for me to support him in what his decisions, and he wasn't very open about problems in his life (just that he wasn't brought up to communicate about his problems... which I couldn't blame him for). I needed someone who I could truly call my best friend and boyfriend, and I needed someone who could communicate with me easily, share my problems with me and share his with me, and spend a good deal of time together (not 24/7, but this boyfriend of mine I would go for months without seeing one another and days sometimes without talking). So because we had different needs (in the way of love) it didn't work out. We've only spoken a few times since breaking up, but that's probably my fault since I was the one who dumped him and now I'm dating another guy. But we did end it on good terms, so I'm happy about that... another chapter in my life closed, though I still love him because he was able to love me in his own ways.

Example B: My boyfriend (we've been dating for 4 months now) and I met on-line (actually through this site) when his roommate sent me a random pm one day saying he'd like to chat if I was bored. So we did and a few months later, Sean (my boyfriend) and I started chatting and we ended up hitting it off really well. He communicates well, very friendly and open-minded, Christian, hard worker, is getting a college education, and is close with his family.

So you see not much difference between the two guys. But what touched my heart so much is that Sean would spend time with me (although it was just chatting online or a phone call) especially if I was just by myself... Sean turned into the guy I went running to when I was upset and needed someone and over time we became best friends. So while we both understand that we should spend time apart, we love talking and hanging out, but we also make sure we both spend seperate time following hobbies and hanging out with friends.

So ya.. it really just depends on the person, the couple, and the goals of both of the people. You're still young, so your friends will contiue to meet up and break up... nothing wrong with that. This is the time where we're figuring out what kind of person we're meant to be. When you get a few years older, your friends will start to become serious and get engaged... married. For example, my best friend (who is a little younger than me... by 2 or 3 months) is already married and has a baby boy.

When you know it.. you'll know it.

 

[IvanOng]

Thanks for all your replies and efforts made, I have read it all. It really helps to deepen my understandings towards love, I will greatly appreciate if there are more..... hehe.

I'm right to have post this question here

 

[Menuet]

depends on what the relationship has weathered and if you've really become friends. love shouldn't fade may subside with excitement though!

 

[charligirl]

Some good responses. Many people don't realise that love is not an emotion or a feeling and although it can produce feelings of love, 'love' is actually a verb. It's something you choose to do on a daily basis.

Eros is the physical side of love which gives us the passionate attraction early on and the 'in love' feelings. Philio is the friendship side, but agape is the 'Come what may I choose to love you' love that we need to ask God to help us with, because feelings will come and go.

 

[allwills]

I feel like in every relationship, there's a certain point where you're just...used to each other. Some people take that as boring and end the relationship, which is a real shame because that doesn't mean the relationship should end. But that doesn't mean the love fades! At all!

 

[eatenbylocusts]

Some good responses. Many people don't realise that love is not an emotion or a feeling and although it can produce feelings of love, 'love' is actually a verb. It's something you choose to do on a daily basis.

Eros is the physical side of love which gives us the passionate attraction early on and the 'in love' feelings. Philio is the friendship side, but agape is the 'Come what may I choose to love you' love that we need to ask God to help us with, because feelings will come and go.

What she said.

 

[wiggsfly]

When you find the right person, and with a little hard work, it won't fade but will naturally evolve as you both get older.

 

[littlemrs]

The giddy, completely in love, butterflies in the stomach, can't stand to be apart from each other feelings do fade once the relationship is past the honeymoon stage, and I think that a lot of people mistake this for "falling out of love." I am someone who does not personally believe that you can fall out of love with someone; love is a choice that you have to make consciously every day, it is not something that just comes and is easy and requires no effort.

 

[bliz]

Been married for 30 years. The love has not faded away; it has grown. When we married, I knew what love was! I knew how to love my man! Ha! By contrast to now, I hadn't a clue. Likewise, I thought he loved me then... and he did... but nothing like he loves me now!

 

[Tuffguy]

This thread is why you should be friends before dating... if possible. Sometimes you need to move on the girl quick to snatch her up....ideally you can take some time to get to know her first.

Also, many people who date put on this fake front of a perfectly nice, mature, person who is really not who they are. When they get married they turn into the real person they are and the other person is now getting a totally raw deal? I don't get this at all. Its so fake and downright dishonest when you think about it. I think it all comes from just not being comfortable w/who you are. The couples that are all lovey dovey on each other all the time come to mind. That all changes once you have sex. The guy puts up w/it till hes getting the real deal!!!!
I always sit back and laugh at those couples a month after they're married. The girl is confused why hes not all up on her all the time,, and the guy is sitting on the couch with a beer, like leave me alone! LOL

 

[stealingheaven]

I can only speak from experience.
As a teenager I had a few boyfriends, I was too young to understand what it was to love someone and so I wasn't looking for a lasting meaningful relationship. I was just enjoying the company of these boyfriends.
In my ealry 20's I was hoping to meet someone to have a menaningful and lasting relationship with, someone to love, marry, have a family with etc. I first expereinced love at 21 but that relationship didn't last, it didn't matter that I think love is an emotion but that you also have to work at making a relationship work, it just didn't work out.
It was a couple of years ago that I met my true love and I'm older and wiser to know what it is to love and be loved and how to work at the relationship.

You have to know who you are and what you want from another person to be in a relationship with them. The world promotes relationships that don't last, look at the programmes on TV and read any gossip column in a glossy magazine, they make it seem that relationships are effortless while all the butterfly feelings are there and when those butterflys disappear that it's ok to then move onto the next person who makes you feel that way.

 

[javaluver]

You might, in a sense, fall into love but you have to choose to stay in love.

 

[OceanGirl]

I don't feel that is possible. Not if you truly are in love.

 

[princessellie]

i dont think that love fade, but it can change

see the problem is that (especially with young people) they go into things with their eyes closed, they dont realise what is involved in a serious relationship, they dont realise that things arent always going to be excitiing and new

as you get to know oneanother better things start to even out and become "the norm" its at this point that you need to make sure that you dont get bored as this can be just as great a time in your relationship as when you first met.

so ok you already know one anothers likes and dislikes but it is at this point that you really get to know oneanother who they are and thier real dreams

i know that i have been through this, but i got through it and i am so happy i did, my SO and i have now been together for almost nine months and are just as happy as we were when we met and even more in love than ever

 

[ImperialPhantom]

If the relationship has a strong foundation, it wil continue to stand. Even the best-looking building will come crashing to the ground if the foundation sucks.

 

[Gear853]

If the relationship has a strong foundation, it wil continue to stand. Even the best-looking building will come crashing to the ground if the foundation sucks.

i agree. i think a relationship will last if it's build on a foundation of FRIENDSHIP, by being just friends at first and it slowly grow to love.

that's how me and my love was, she's not only my love, she's also my best friend.

 

[candace1111]

im still young but |I look at it like this:
the difference between love and lust is lust is about what you want, why you like the other person more like taking, and love is when you think about giving-

I think that real love is when you go through life's hardships-whether daily or periodic standard life hardships,. and you stand by the other person and support them, and look back and say \'wow! Ive been through all this with my loved one, I can't just easily replace that bond with someone new no matter how cool they are"./its like when you work for something, you apppreciate it more,.
its about not taking one another for granted, realizing what you have at all times. (The same approach I try toi have for the Lord, always thanking him for what I have and leaning on him for support).
see if you just choose someone who is prettier or smarter or more fun over the years your missing the point of true love.
its a friendship that never ends.
and as for over -exposure-
well maybe women should make themselves less available