Will God forgive me for abusing my ex?

[foofida]

Gone

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

Know that God has forgiven you. You need to move on. If you can't forgive yourself, then you need to get some encouragement from your congregation. Just keep knowing that God forgives you and loves you, keep telling yourself that. Only when you truely begin to understand can you really forgive yourself.

 

[Love&Pain]

Even though it's hard to accept or understand, if you gotten on your knees and have asked the Lord to forgive you, your sins have been pardoned. God has even forgotten them, "I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." (Jeremiah 31:34) To the Lord, yesturday's sins-the ones that you have already confessed to him-are forgiven and forgotten. As hard as it may be, try to get your mind off "yesturday". Live in the hope and promise of today.

 

[Jkurtz]

A good idea that would probably help you would be to ask him to relieve you of the pain that you feel. you have been forgiven, but until you realize it, you will never be free.

 

[foofida]

Gone.

 

[Jkurtz]

Well the answer to that one is simple. You obviously have some sort of feeling or attachment to her, otherwise you would not wish to go on and find out things. You have to realize that Gods will be done and you have no need to take it into your own hands. You have been set free in Christ. In the bible it says, Cast away your cares, as well as in Matthew in the beatitudes, don't worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about it's own things, sufficient for the day is it's own trouble. You have no need to worry or be jealous, gods will is being done in her life, let it be done in your own.

 

[foofida]

.........

 

[seebs]

Forgiveness doesn't mean that all the consequences of your actions go away. If you break my favorite guitar that I've had since college, I may forgive you for it, but it's still broken.

Will God forgive you? Most likely. Have you repented? It sure sounds like it. But... Can you forgive yourself? Can your ex forgive you? Perhaps you should, not as a "trying to get back together" thing, but just as an end in and of itself, ask her if there's anything you can do to make up for the harm you've done her. One part of forgiveness is atonement. It's not that God can't forgive you unless you atone; it's that it may help you find repentance and closure.

 

[Love&Pain]

1. Trusting God completely means having faith that he knows what is best for your life. You expect him to keep his promises, help you with problems, and do the impossible when neccesary.
2. God always acts in your best interest, even when it is painful and you don't understand it.But releasing your resentment and revealing your feelings is the first step to healing.
3. Your problems are not punishment; they are a wake-up call from God.
4. When you expect anyone to meet a need that only God can fulfill, you are setting yourself up for disappointment and bitterness.
5. Problems force us to look on God and depend on him instead of ourselves.
6. God's plans for your life involves all that happens to you-including your mistakes, your sins, and your hurts.
7. Since God intends to make you like Jesus, he will take you through the same experiences Jesus went through. That includes loneliness, temptation, stress, critcism, rejection, and many other problems.

 

[thirsty]

Because she sure wont. I feel horrible and have been praying for weeks, but I dont feel as close to God as I should.

Honestly I gave my life to God in 1999. Then I started making great money, was old enough to drink, and had plenty of women wanting me. So sadly, I turn my back on Him.

I then got with my ex to use her. I wont lie. I used her, was jeaolous, abused her emotionally, and physically, and cheated on her many times. I was a horrible person and now that she has left me it's eating me up inside. Everyone tells me that God forgives me, but if he does, why wont this pain go away. This guilt.

When I feel nostalgiac , which is all day everyday, I can vividly recall the things I did to her in detail, and it just kills me. I dont understand how I could hurt a person who loved me endlessly so much.

I don't even feel worthy of trying to be a Christian anymore. Am I still one since I turned my back on God for pleasure of the flesh, greed, anger, jealousy, alcohol, and money? Everyone tells me that God forgives, and I believe it until I start feeling this pain. God gave me a gift in this incredible woman and I squandered it, so now she is in the arms of another man.

I don't know what todo, I dont know what to feel, and I dont know where to start. I've been reading the bible, and I feel great. Then I stop reading it when I go to work or something and I feel bitter towards her because she wont forgive me. I KNOW for a fact that no wpoman deserves to be treated badly, and I KNOW I will never do it again. I wouldnt want that done tpo my two little sisters.

I honestly feel that I am coming closer to God, but this guilt makes me doubt.

Advice anyone?

We must learn to forgive ourselves as well as forgiving others. Satan likes to use our guilt against us to make us feel unworthy. God has forgiven you if you truley meant it, but you must learn to forgive yourself also.

 

[foofida]

...........

 

[Jkurtz]

The most logical thing to do would be to realize is, what's done is done, and you can't turn back. As well as realize that you have been forgiven and now God still wants to work through you, only if you allow it. If you continue on with this guilt thing, you may end up where you don't want to go (which we don't need to talk about) Find out what you want now what's done is done, and go and attain it. you can if you want (nothing Dirty.)

 

[MakeMeAServant]

You confessed your sin of abusing your ex to Jesus, so whether you FEEL like you are forgiven or not, JESUS FORGAVE YOU. 1 John 1:9 says "if we confess our sins, Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." The guilt you feel is strictly from Satan, who wants to convince you that you are still guilty of that sin. But Jesus has already forgiven you. So, every time that Satan brings up guilt into your mind, repeat that verse 1 John 1:9.

Now, as a past victim of abuse, a past prosecutor of defendants accused of committing abuse, and as someone who has been ministering to victims of abuse for several years, I can tell you that your ex is probably going to have a really hard time forgiving you for what you did to her. If she is not a Christian, she probably never will forgive you. Even if she is a Christian, it may take her some time to heal from the abuse you committed on her before she is able to forgive you, but she should be able to eventually truly forgive you if she is real a Christian (because that is what Christ calls us to do and gives us the power to do with the Holy Spirit's help). Only Jesus can truly heal a person of their wounds from abuse. If she is not currently healing from the abuse and wants to, PM me and I will help her get the right resources to do that. In the meantime, please don't worry about whether she forgives you or not. If you have already asked her and Jesus to forgive you, then you have already done all that is required of you by Jesus. The rest is up to her.

And don't let Satan pull the guilt-trip over you where he says, "You're not worth anything. You've ruined someone's life. You deserve to die. Nothing in your life is ever going to work out. You are never going to be happy. God doesn't want you anymore." Like everything Satan says, that is a lie. God says in Romans 8:28 that He is going to work EVERYTHING that happened (even the mistakes you made and the abuse you committed on your ex) out for good for those who love Him. That means that if you love God, He is going to make what you did that was wrong somehow turn out for good. Maybe Jesus is going to heal you of the past abuse that you probably went through (most abusers were abused in some way at some point in their lives, even if they repressed or intentionally forgot their memories of the abuse for a period of time). Maybe Jesus is going to let you go to counseling and truly heal from being an abuser so that you can speak to other abusers and help them find Jesus and stop abusing others. Maybe Jesus is going to teach you through your experience how great and wide His forgiveness and love for you truly is when you probably did not deserve to be forgiven for what you did. That promise in Romans also means that if your ex loves Jesus, then Jesus is going to eventually heal her emotional brokenness from the abuse, which will make her character stronger and give her more faith in Him to take care of her in bad circumstances and enable her to know more about the amazing healing love of Jesus than she would have known without it. Maybe Jesus is going to use what she went through to enable her to show others how to accept Jesus as Lord and heal from their abuse.

How would I know? I was physically, sexually, and emotionally abused for about 25 years by various family members and my ex-boyfriend. Alot of bad things happened to me during that abuse. I couldn't have survived it without committing suicide without God's help. But God delivered me from the abuse (Jesus even went so far once to put a wall of angels in between me and my boyfriend who was about to seriously harm/kill me so that he could not get through to touch me), and Jesus has almost completely healed me emotionally of all of that abuse. Although I had thought God had abandoned me at most points while I was being so severely abused, years later Jesus showed me that He had been there shielding my mind and soul throughout all of the abuse from being completely destroyed and that He was going to heal me and use what Satan had done to me through the abuse to enable me to help others find Jesus and heal from their own abuse. Jesus caused me to realize that if I had not gone through that abuse, I would not be able to understand what other victims had gone through, and that I could never help them heal unless I had known the demon-screeching depths of terror that Satan's claws pierce the heart of victims of abuse with. Through the grace and mercy of God, I have prayed for and been able to help 5 members of my family become Christians and 4 of them to heal from extremely violent abuses that were committed on them. I have also helped others to find Jesus and/or start healing from abuse, including a prostitute I met in court, my bestfriend who I didn't know was abused for almost 15 years, several people on this website, and even a teenager I met on a missions trip who was about to commit suicide and who wouldn't talk to anyone about her sexual abuse and who opened up to me of all people, a complete stranger. Through my prayers and friendship, God even healed my cousin, who was severely sexually abused by his step-father and later raped my sister, of his abuse and from abusing others anymore. As I have been recounting/remembering the abuse, Jesus has already visibly and physically come into almost every single one of my memories of abuse and put His garment over me when I was naked, cleansed me with His blood and Holy Spirit where I was violated sexually or physically, blocked the blows and beatings with belts in the places I was being beaten, covered my ears to the horrible things that were screamed into them when I was a child with His own nail-pierced hands, held me in His arms when I cried, and took my father's hands off my throat when He was choking me. Jesus comforted me. I could actually feel the touch and warmth and love and tenderness and cleansing of Jesus when He touched me. Not only that, but I could feel and see the Holy Spirit cleansing my body in the places that had physically suffered from symptoms of the abuse. For example, He reversed all damage that had been done to my body from my not eating more than a few bites a day for about 10 years due to the abuse. Jesus reversed the sensations of choking, not being able to breathe, hurting in my mouth, chest pain from my heart racing so fast, pain from my stomach tightening to where I thought it would explode etc that I had experienced when I had flashbacks from one of my sexual abusers forcing me to engage in oral sex with him when I was about 3 years old. Through my experience of abuse and healing, Jesus has strengthened my faith in Him because I believe now more than ever before that He will never leave me and that He will work EVERYTHING out for good for me because I love Him. These are just some examples of what Jesus has done for me and turned my situation into good for myself and others. Because of the life-changing power of Jesus, I have been able to not only forgive my abusers but I have also been praying for my abusers to be open to healing from the abuse they were subjected to and to receive Jesus into their lives if they have not already (some have). I have been preparing to lead them into healing in the same manner that I went through with Jesus' help. I actually want their lives to change and be absolutely wonderful. I want to break the terrible quick-sand-like cycle of abuse that has been handed down in my family for generations, and that none of them had been able to get out of before this healing started happening in our family several years ago. It is amazing the depth of healing Jesus can do in a person's life and in a family!!!

Paul, one of the greatest Christians who ever lived and who wrote alot of the New Testament in the Bible, was once a murderer of Christians because he thought they were idiots who had no clue! Don't you think he felt guilt over killing all those Christians once Jesus appeared to him and revealed to Paul that He was the true God that the Christians had been serving? This is how Paul says he got over that guilt. Paul said that (if he wanted to be any good to Christ) he must forget the things that were behind him and press on toward the goal of being what the Lord wanted him to be. Phillippians 3:13-14. You can do that. You already have the chance to witness to countless people out there on this internet who don't know Christ and don't know why they should want Him. Let me help you get started on the road to healing from any abuse in your past that you can remember. First, I would suggest going to a Christian counselor who will help you ask Jesus to come into your memories and heal them, just like I did. That is the only effective method of complete healing I have ever experienced or any victim I have known has ever experienced. Jesus protects you and makes you feel safe while you are going back through the terrifying memories. If you are not currently a Christian, then I have included steps for you to become a Christian at the end of this post. Second, you can begin to read the Bible about how to be the person God intended you to be, how to control your anger, how to forgive your abusers. You can also read books like Door of Hope by Christian psychologist Jan Frank and Adult Children of Abusive Parents by psychologist Steven Farmer (both of which can be bought on the internet) to learn what abusive behavior is (including emotional, sexual, and physical abuse), why people start abusing others, how they can stop doing it, and how a person can heal from any abuse that has been committed on them. Do the healing exercises in those books, even when it is not easy to recount your memories, etc. and Jesus will help you heal through them. Check out Christian Healing Ministries on the web at Christianhealingmin.org for books you can buy on this type of Christian healing and contact them to find out if they have a free Christian prayer counselor in your area who can help you learn that method of healing and pray with and guide you as you heal. You (or anyone else out there who wants to) can PM me anytime, and I will help you all I can. You can heal from your abuse and from being an abuser, because with God all things are possible and you can be more than a conqueror through Jesus who loves you.

You can have a personal relationship with Jesus by following these three simple steps:
(A) Admit that you are a sinner. In Romans 3:23 the Bible says, “All people have sinned and come short of the glory of God.
(B) Believe that Jesus is the Son of God who loved you enough to die for you on the cross (so you would not be punished in eternity for your sins) and that God raised Jesus from the dead. “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son Jesus, so that whoever believes on Him will not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16. “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9.
(C) Confess your sins to Jesus asking Him to forgive them, and confess with your mouth that Jesus is your Lord. “If we confess our sins, Jesus is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9. “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9.

Now that you have given your life to Jesus, John 3:16 says that you will have everlasting life for eternity in Heaven. In addition to everlasting life, Romans 8:28 says that God will work everything out in your life (even the bad things that happen to you) for good in the end because you love Him. However, Ephesians 6:11-13 tells us that even after we accept Jesus as our Savior as you did above, we Christians have to do certain things to defend ourselves spiritually from the attacks of Jesus’ enemy Satan, like reading and following the Word of God that is found in the Bible, keep having faith in God, find out what God considers sin and try not to sin, and always pray. Although you will sometimes have trials, God has promised that He will never leave you or forsake you. Hebrews 13:5. There are a lot of other awesome promises God has made you too, which you can explore in your Bible as you read it.

To learn more about Jesus and what He wants to do in your life, you should regularly read the Bible and do what it tells you to do. You should also try to attend services in a church that believes that Jesus is the Son of God and came to earth as a human being to die for us. According to 2 John 1:7, any church that does not believe that is not truly following Jesus but is really His enemy in disguise. You should also talk to God through prayer says Ephesians 6:18, for example thanking Him for what He has done for you and asking Him to help you in life with your various problems or questions. After you become a believer, you should be baptized according to Mark 16:16. Any denomination of the Christian church can baptize you, but they will probably check to make sure you have accepted Jesus as your Savior first (by following the three main steps above). Romans 6:4-11 says that baptism is a symbol that you have died to your old life of sin and been changed by Jesus to live a new life.

 

[MakeMeAServant]

What I posted in response to your question about whether God would forgive you for abusing others was inspired by God. Jesus even used the message I was writing to you to bring me greater physical and emotional healing and to cause even more forgiveness and love toward my abusers to well up in my heart. Yesterday after writing that post, Jesus healed me of several incidents of abuse that I had still been working on healing from by coming into those memories, blocking my abusers from hurting or touching me, putting a divine layer of His protection around me to keep me from feeling any physical harm inflicted that was being inflicted on me by my abusers in the memories and even from feeling a glass door my brother had pushed me through while it shattered with my weight, breaking the tape off of me that my brother had used to bind my hands where I couldn’t get free and telling me that He had just broken the bonds of affliction from abuse off of me, and comforting me in His soothing arms. Now, that type of healing from Jesus has happened to me lots of times in the past two years as I have gone through each memory from about 26 years of abuse one by one and allowed Jesus to heal me of the emotional effects of the abuse. But then something that has never happened to me before happened. After Jesus had comforted me in those memories, Jesus turned around to my great uncle, my father, my mother, my brother, and my ex-boyfriend (whoever was the abuser in each individual memory), and Jesus reached out and took every one of my abusers in His arms individually and healed them of all the abuse they had suffered in their pasts and healed them from being abusers!!!!! My father and my brother have been so emotionally dead for their whole lives that I have maybe seen them cry once or twice in my 30 years. Both of them became little boys in my vision as they broke down and cried in the arms of Jesus and wrapped their little arms around His neck as He was healing them of all their past abuse. I feel like God wanted me to share this with you as proof that God totally forgives those who turn to Him and ask His forgiveness for abusing others and then totally heals them of their own personal pain!!!

I feel compelled to tell you in detail about my vision of how my father was transformed by Jesus. In real life, about 15 years ago my father had been kicking my 13 year old brother, whom he had knocked onto the floor, in his ribs and side and legs and arms with his boots. My mother and I had already softly pleaded for my father to stop because he was hurting my brother so bad. I had been so terrified that my father in his rage was going to break my brother’s bones and ribs and harm his internal organs that I picked up the only weapon I could find, which was a sharpened pencil, and (though I was terrified to turn my father’s attention toward me because I knew he would probably hurt me badly) threatened to stab my father with it if he did not stop hurting my brother. That did draw my father’s attention away from my brother, and with a few more lighter kicks on my brother he stopped and ordered my brother to go to his room. Miraculously, my brother’s ribs and bones and internal organs were not damaged, although I don’t know how they were not. I am sure he had bruises and was very sore for a while. Jesus had protected my brother from the terrible injuries he should have received from my father’s kicking him. Now, in the midst of me remembering that incident yesterday, I got to the part where my father, who had trained in a lot of marital arts, was starting to kick my brother with tremendous force, and then I saw an egg-shell shaped circle of light completely surround my brother while he was on the floor. My father was still kicking, but when that light appeared my father could not get his legs to penetrate through that circle. He tried about 4 more times to kick my brother and got extremely frustrated that he could not get past that certain point physically no matter how hard he tried. Jesus helped me to realize that my father was so desperate to keep kicking my brother because something had “triggered” his memory of his own terrible childhood abuse and my father was so terrified of reliving his own memories of abuse that he had to redirect his own attention to something almost equally as horrible, like kicking his own son. My father had been numbing his own pain from his childhood abuse memories by giving himself something else to focus on that captured his entire attention and allowed him to vent his terrible usually-repressed rage. My father knew that if he turned his attention away from abusing my brother that he would finally have to face the horrifying memories and feelings he felt during his own abuse, which he had been running to escape from his whole life. For a few seconds, my father contemplated whether he should stop trying to abuse my brother and confront his own childhood abuse. The presence of Jesus in the room was so great that my father finally broke down with tears running down his cheeks, fell on his knees because he was too weak to keep standing up as he let himself finally remember the abuse, and fell into my arms because I was the closest one to him. Then Jesus immediately kneeled down in front of my father and took him out of my arms and held him. It was then that my big tough ex-carpenter father became a little boy in the arms of Jesus, actually wrapping his little arms around Jesus’ neck while he wept in Jesus’ arms. When my father was through crying and Jesus had comforted him and healed him fully from the abuse and from being an abuser, my father looked up at Jesus while He was still holding him and smiled the most brilliant smile of peace and hope I have ever seen.

Jesus had already completely healed me of those memories after He came into them and protected me from my abusers and comforted me. I had been supernaturally emotionally healed enough already to completely forgive and love my abusers. However, it is just like Jesus, who said that we Christians are MORE THAN conquerors through Him, to do more than just heal me enough to completely forgive and love my abusers. Through Jesus’ unexpected acts of love and healing toward my own abusers in my healing visions, Jesus has filled me to overflowing with compassion for my abusers and all abusers everywhere (whereas I once hated them). Jesus showed me with your help that He has called me not just to minister to victims of abuse but also to those who have become abusers and who want to be freed from their bondage of abuse and abusing. Jesus has showed me how merciful and limitless His love is for all people, no matter what they have done. Through these visions of how Jesus is going to heal my abusers, Jesus has given me more spiritual strength and joy and love and peace and patience and faith than I ever knew was possible. As I was telling my husband yesterday how Jesus had healed me of the choking sensations I had whenever something triggered my memories of me being forced to have oral sex with my uncle when I was 3, I caught myself with a smile on my face. I immediately realized that Jesus had so completely healed that memory of that filthy, defiling, and shameful act and supernaturally erased my pain that the memory no longer hurt me anymore, but instead it was a source of inexplicable joy because Jesus had revealed His plan to me of how He was going to take my healed experiences of abuse and use me to help others heal through Him.

I hope that sharing this with you causes you and others who are viewing to realize how much Jesus loves abused people and even people who have abused others and is willing to go to such lengths to heal them all if they will let Him.

 

[GOD'S ARMY]

I am offering my point of view with a great respect for what you are trying to accomplish.

Don't give up. Pray. Keep on praying. Put aside sins. Try hard to make your home and your surroundings a place centered in Christ. Try to live righteously, whatever that means to you. Whatever your beliefs are, try to live them well. Keep on praying. Ask the Lord for help. Eventually you will feel the love he has for you and you will be happy again.

 

[Annabel Lee]

Because she sure wont. I feel horrible and have been praying for weeks, but I dont feel as close to God as I should.

Honestly I gave my life to God in 1999. Then I started making great money, was old enough to drink, and had plenty of women wanting me. So sadly, I turn my back on Him.

I then got with my ex to use her. I wont lie. I used her, was jeaolous, abused her emotionally, and physically, and cheated on her many times. I was a horrible person and now that she has left me it's eating me up inside. Everyone tells me that God forgives me, but if he does, why wont this pain go away. This guilt.

When I feel nostalgiac , which is all day everyday, I can vividly recall the things I did to her in detail, and it just kills me. I dont understand how I could hurt a person who loved me endlessly so much.

I don't even feel worthy of trying to be a Christian anymore. Am I still one since I turned my back on God for pleasure of the flesh, greed, anger, jealousy, alcohol, and money? Everyone tells me that God forgives, and I believe it until I start feeling this pain. God gave me a gift in this incredible woman and I squandered it, so now she is in the arms of another man.

I don't know what todo, I dont know what to feel, and I dont know where to start. I've been reading the bible, and I feel great. Then I stop reading it when I go to work or something and I feel bitter towards her because she wont forgive me. I KNOW for a fact that no wpoman deserves to be treated badly, and I KNOW I will never do it again. I wouldnt want that done tpo my two little sisters.

I honestly feel that I am coming closer to God, but this guilt makes me doubt.

Advice anyone?

I'm betting that God has forgiven you but why do you expect forgiveness so quickly from this woman?

You abused her physically and emotionally. Now she is free from you. Let her go and realize that she doesn't have to trust you.
Stop being bitter and angry with her because she refuses to forgive you. Let her go, that is the greatest gift you can give her.

 

[openup4christ]

Because she sure wont. I feel horrible and have been praying for weeks, but I dont feel as close to God as I should.

Honestly I gave my life to God in 1999. Then I started making great money, was old enough to drink, and had plenty of women wanting me. So sadly, I turn my back on Him.

I then got with my ex to use her. I wont lie. I used her, was jeaolous, abused her emotionally, and physically, and cheated on her many times. I was a horrible person and now that she has left me it's eating me up inside. Everyone tells me that God forgives me, but if he does, why wont this pain go away. This guilt.

When I feel nostalgiac , which is all day everyday, I can vividly recall the things I did to her in detail, and it just kills me. I dont understand how I could hurt a person who loved me endlessly so much.

I don't even feel worthy of trying to be a Christian anymore. Am I still one since I turned my back on God for pleasure of the flesh, greed, anger, jealousy, alcohol, and money? Everyone tells me that God forgives, and I believe it until I start feeling this pain. God gave me a gift in this incredible woman and I squandered it, so now she is in the arms of another man.

I don't know what todo, I dont know what to feel, and I dont know where to start. I've been reading the bible, and I feel great. Then I stop reading it when I go to work or something and I feel bitter towards her because she wont forgive me. I KNOW for a fact that no wpoman deserves to be treated badly, and I KNOW I will never do it again. I wouldnt want that done tpo my two little sisters.

I honestly feel that I am coming closer to God, but this guilt makes me doubt.

Advice anyone?

Dont worry God will forgive u and forget about your sins if u r sincerely sorry and have Jesus in your heart. Because Jesus die for the sins of all men not Just the Good people (not saying your bad).

 

[Yummi]

Matthew 5.23-24
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift."

James 5.16
"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

You must go to her and ask her for forgiveness, tell her that you are sorry for abusing her (I was taught that when you repent for something, you must mention WHAT you did exactly that were wrong). Then tell her that she's someone great (tell her qualities), that she didn't deserve such treatments. It doesn't matter if she forgives you or not after it, you just must do it.

I sincerely think that it's impossible to have the peace of God without doing this.

You are in my prayers.

 

[foofida]

Interesting

 

[Bizzlebin Imperatoris]

I need to work on my faith though. Im nowhere near perfect, but Im trying to be a better Christian. Im getting baptized on Saturday.

Glad you are feeling better, and congratulations! Baptism is the final step!