Wild at Heart

[Nico]

I, for one, agree completely w/ Living4Him. I don't want some guy to come and "rescue" me. As, she said, that's for God to do, and besides, I like to think of myself as a pretty capable woman. And yah, I would hope that in that castle w/the fire breathing dragon that God would give me the strength to kick that dragon's butt.

I do want a guy who will give 100% to our marriage as well, as Living4Him said. I want a guy who will take the time to understand me, not rescue me. I don't want him to give up his masculinity in any way, either. i want him to do the things he enjoys, and hey, take me along with him if he'd like. I'd like to learn about rock climbing and sword fighting too. But we're not all helpless, broken creatures that are fragile and waiting for someone to make our lives worth while. ALTHOUGH, there are some girls I know out there who do want to be "rescued". I'm not really sure you want that type of girl...maybe you do, then go for it, rescue her....

 

[Living4Him03]

well said Nico...I agree. I think the book even points out what you just said. It's just...well, some guys don't get that out of the book!

 

[Joel K]

I don't know if you know or not, but my last post about the fire breathing dragon and castle, was ment to be taken lightly.
However on a serious note. There are situations in real life that happen to girls, or guys in which they would need to be "rescued" If you happen to find yourself being assulted or mugged. God may use a police officer or maybe someone else to rescue you. Or God might choose not to send anyone in to help at all. You never know, c r a p happens to everybody.
I don't know if you intend this or not "Livingforhim" but I'm detecting a condesending attitude from you, that you think guys are too dence to notice the message from that book that you recieved. I'm curious to hear the message that you got from reading that book.

 

[Living4Him03]

I don't think guys are too dense to get the message, and I'm sorry if you got that from reading my post. My bro and I were talking (and he really has been blessed by this book) and we were reading some parts that we felt guys who are younger (teenagers) may not understand that the author intends for a guy to understand. My bro was actually the first person to bring that up. He thinks that alot of teenage guys might read some of the parts...like the part where he is explaing the story of Ruth and suggests it's okay for a woman to "arouse" a guy's interest. well, some might take that as him saying a girl should get a guy aroused sexually. I agreed with my brother about that. He also thinks that guys might take the books as meaning you should go out and try hard to rescue a girl you care about. We also agreed that is not what the author means for you to do.

Ultimately, from what I have read (I get to read all of it this weekend when I go home and get the book from my bro ), I got that a pretty girl will not fulfill a guy's life (just as a handsome guy will not fulfill a girl's life)...only God can, even when He sends a girl for you, God is still the only One who can fulfill you. I will share what I thought more when I finish all of it.

Again, I"m sorry if any guys were insulted by my posts. I hope that I didn't offend anyone. I've been pretty stressed lately and I have taken things seriously too much I think. I didn't mean to insult anyone by those comments. I probably should have worded what I said differently...bad word choices I suppose. Anyway, thanks for calling that to my attention.

God Bless

 

[Joel K]

I tend to analize words and statments to far sometimes. And come to conclutions that often aren't the ones ment to be presented.

 

[Living4Him03]

me too

 

[ThomE]

The book is by John Eldredge and IT IS ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS I HAVE EVER READ. And I don't mean to brag but I read alot!

 

[Sketcher]

I'd read it again if I could find my copy.

 

[dawnmo]

That is the book that says a man needs a woman to rescue, right? I think I read that. Maybe not...if it wasn't that book, it was another book like it.

The problem I had with that was, I don't need a man to rescue me. God saved me from my sins...and as a woman, I can take care of myself. I'm not ashamed to say that I have successfully fended off a male attacker (thanks to a well-placed elbow and Bible ) and I am confident I could do that again, if need be. Ever since I was a child, I have had to fend for myself, so I grew up to be quite the scrapper.

 

[God_follower]

uhh.. yeah its really helpful to actually read the book before debating it. no offence intended. Yes we need people in our lives to help us out, to help us on the road of life. The overall point of the book as a whole is way more then a girl needs a guy to rescue her. Basically the book deals with how the man has lost his heart and needs it back. We need purpose in our life, we need to get closer to God definitly, someday if we get married they become the Beauty in our lives and we pour ourselves out for them(and everyone else by the way if we are doing it right). The book is about overcoming the loss of heart men face today and a reinstating of that heart in todays society.

 

[God_follower]

lets go over how the book portrays this whole thing called fighting for women, in no way does that make women weak. A husband will (hopefully) become the second most loved and closest person on earth to his wife. In that aspect there are some things he must do. In one of the stories the book uses, the author stands between his wife and satan through prayer, and thats very true, thats a much more real fight then being mugged. John 10:10 puts it well. True enough that we cant really fight satan on our own, but by God's authority which we have we most certainly can. Women also do, but its the job of the man as the head of the household. You might not need rescuing now but you might someday.

 

[Jedi]

It's one of my favorite books of all time and I do a significant amount of reading. It describes us men perfectly, especially me. The dreams and problems described in the book have been a part of me for as long as I can remember: wanting a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue, and in the mean time, being faced with the glaring question "do I have what it takes?" The book hit the nail on the head, so if any of you ladies want to get into the heart and mind of the vast majority of guys, just pick up Wild At Heart.

I enjoyed this book so much that quite some time ago, I added the main theme of the book into my signature. Definitely a must read.

The problem I had with that was, I don't need a man to rescue me. God saved me from my sins...and as a woman, I can take care of myself.

But the book never talks about looking to men to save you from your sins, thus the unparallel analogy. Protection doesn't come only in the form of eternal salvation. Quite frankly, guys are generally physically superior to most women (there are, of course, those few exceptions). It's simple genetics: when guys hit puberty, they lose body fat; when girls hit puberty, they get more body fat. We as guys are built as a gender to be geared toward the warrior/protector lifestyle moreso than the female gender. Ask most women around about what they find attractive in a guy and almost every time a quality you'll hear is "someone who can protect me" (In contrast, that quality is almost never looked for by guys when looking for a girl). It is the idea of having that knight in shining armor there to rescue you in the event that you need it. It's not so much that most women need to be rescued, but that they want to be.

 

[Living4Him03]

Eh I give up on this thread! I still don't really agree with all this guy has to say in his book and the ideals it gives men. I think it's too fanciful and most guys really need a doce of reality! No offense, but if he wanted to write a book with these points, 1. write it so that it hits reality and doesn't have guys going and daydreaming about rescuing their future wife and becoming so idealistic they can't see clearly anymore and 2. have your wife or another FEMALE write one about females, cuz he's a guy so um yah I'm sure he just knows ALL about what it's like to be a woman! You guys should put yourselves in our place for a moment...not trying to rescue us but to stop and think through history and even today what it must be like to be a woman. I'm not saying there are not good aspects, but it's not the easiest thing in the world to be. If you want to understand women, talk to some and try to imagine what it would be like to be living as a woman in society today as opposed to being a man.

If you were a woman, wouldn't you find something a bit confusing about the whole submission thing? Wouldn't you think a lot of guys are creeps? I don't think a male writing a book about how I feel and think and what I want and need is going to cut it. Sorry!

God bless those of you who have been blessed by this book, but it is just not for me.

 

[Living4Him03]

My main bone to pick with this book: It talks about MAN'S heart is fierce and driven, etc. and that God's heart is the same way. I think the reason God is that way is because he is not limited by fear. But anyway, the book says nothing of a WOMAN'S heart being won back. Do you guys think we haven't been stifled too? By a society that tells us we must be size 2 and be models, or actresses, or cheerleaders, or popular or whatever in order to be respected. Does this author not think women want adventure and purpose in our lives? Oh of course not we wouldn't want that!!! Do you know how many obstacles society has placed in our way???? Girls still aren't encouraged to be astronauts, engineers, mathematicians, etc. I am NOT a meek and mild woman and I never have been. I also live for adventure and romance in life and I don't just sit back and think about what my wedding will be like and naming my kids. I hope that you guys know this. It just seems this book does not address anything like that and I'm fed up with men trying to write about women and what we need, when they really don't have a clue. I'm also tired of the constant discussions about how women need to submit, etc. and the lack of making young men into the men they need to be.

Some men may not be the type who want to pick a fight all the time. Does this make them unmanly? I don't think so. It seems that's what this book is saying. I just think the writer tried to hit the target and got off somewhere!

 

[God_follower]

no missing the target. John Eldridge is right on. It is fanciful, go read the sacred romance, same author and another guy, its good too, but maybe you shouldnt, cuz i duno what u might get out of it. About him talking about women, its a book about MEN! he never says pick any fights, thats not christian, he says stand up for yourself, be a man, and the way to be a man is to depend on God. upon reading your last post im seeing that you just want to rant about things... thats fine and all, just stay on topic of what the book says, it doesnt say much about women, cuz its about men. we dont need to pick fights, we need to live in our strength, we dont hate on women if they wont submit, we dont force women into towers to later get them out, we as men just dont do these kind of things.

 

[the_man]

Eh I give up on this thread! I still don't really agree with all this guy has to say in his book and the ideals it gives men. I think it's too fanciful and most guys really need a doce of reality! No offense, but if he wanted to write a book with these points, 1. write it so that it hits reality and doesn't have guys going and daydreaming about rescuing their future wife and becoming so idealistic they can't see clearly anymore and 2. have your wife or another FEMALE write one about females, cuz he's a guy so um yah I'm sure he just knows ALL about what it's like to be a woman! You guys should put yourselves in our place for a moment...not trying to rescue us but to stop and think through history and even today what it must be like to be a woman. I'm not saying there are not good aspects, but it's not the easiest thing in the world to be. If you want to understand women, talk to some and try to imagine what it would be like to be living as a woman in society today as opposed to being a man.

If you were a woman, wouldn't you find something a bit confusing about the whole submission thing? Wouldn't you think a lot of guys are creeps? I don't think a male writing a book about how I feel and think and what I want and need is going to cut it. Sorry!

God bless those of you who have been blessed by this book, but it is just not for me.

So, it's been a while since I read the book. However, in the 'beauty to rescue' section, the one thing I remember about it is this. It's not that you are going to rescue your princess from a burning castle or whatever. I remember it as, you (the man) is the spiritual head of the household, you (the man) have to be the spiritual warrior of the house hold and then he goes into an example about a couple where the woman was going thru spiritual warfare and how the husband interceeded on her behalf. That is what I remember on 'a beauty to rescue'.

 

[the_man]

My main bone to pick with this book: It talks about MAN'S heart is fierce and driven, etc. and that God's heart is the same way. I think the reason God is that way is because he is not limited by fear. But anyway, the book says nothing of a WOMAN'S heart being won back. Do you guys think we haven't been stifled too? By a society that tells us we must be size 2 and be models, or actresses, or cheerleaders, or popular or whatever in order to be respected. Does this author not think women want adventure and purpose in our lives? Oh of course not we wouldn't want that!!! Do you know how many obstacles society has placed in our way???? Girls still aren't encouraged to be astronauts, engineers, mathematicians, etc. I am NOT a meek and mild woman and I never have been. I also live for adventure and romance in life and I don't just sit back and think about what my wedding will be like and naming my kids. I hope that you guys know this. It just seems this book does not address anything like that and I'm fed up with men trying to write about women and what we need, when they really don't have a clue. I'm also tired of the constant discussions about how women need to submit, etc. and the lack of making young men into the men they need to be.

Some men may not be the type who want to pick a fight all the time. Does this make them unmanly? I don't think so. It seems that's what this book is saying. I just think the writer tried to hit the target and got off somewhere!

The book was written by a man geared for men. Part of the problem of why you feel stiffled is because of the lack of real men in the world. i.e. the book talks about how homer simpson is the role model for men these days. beer guzzling, good for nothing, stupid men. well, these men want all women to be cheerleading, size 2, looking like "the twins" kinda of women. John decided to adress this in men so that there is a change in their hearts to be real men. And real men know that "the twins" are not real women.

Some men may not be the type who want to pick a fight all the time. Does this make them unmanly? I don't think so. It seems that's what this book is saying. I just think the writer tried to hit the target and got off somewhere!

The writer doesn't say that picking a fight is the manly thing to do. however, there are things worth fighting for and the book challenges us men to stand up and fight. If society says abortion is a choice and acceptable, what are men of God going to do? If some churches say that same sex marriage is biblical, what are men of God going to do? When you hold your beliefs as true, they are worth fighting for. And real men will fight to protect. No where does he say go pick a fight.

 

[Jedi]

No offense, but if he wanted to write a book with these points, 1. write it so that it hits reality and doesn't have guys going and daydreaming about rescuing their future wife and becoming so idealistic they can't see clearly anymore

His book does hit reality. Unlike you assert, this book doesn’t cause guys to go about daydreaming about rescuing the fair maiden; this thought is already in the hearts of men. Wild At Heart simply points out this fact, addressing straightforward the innermost desires and questions of men, not placing them there.

2. have your wife or another FEMALE write one about females, cuz he's a guy so um yah I'm sure he just knows ALL about what it's like to be a woman!

There’s a book very similar to this called “Do You Think I’m Beautiful,” written by a woman (I forgot her name, unfortunately). Having read a good ways into the book myself, she highly praised Wild At Heart as completely accurate in its portrayal of the desires of women. Further, Wild At Heart is not geared toward women but men, thus it is very appropriate that a guy (John Eldgredge) wrote it. Besides, simply because a guy writes something about women does not, by default, make him wrong. That’s nothing more than the logic fallacy of ad hominemn (thinking he couldn’t possibly know some of the innermost desires of women simply because he’s a guy. This is an attack against the person rather than the actual material).

You guys should put yourselves in our place for a moment...not trying to rescue us but to stop and think through history and even today what it must be like to be a woman.

Fair enough, but might I also ask you do the same in trying to think about how it is to be a man? This is a two way street here, my lady.

If you were a woman, wouldn't you find something a bit confusing about the whole submission thing?

Not really, since we men are also told to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). If you want to go into that discussion, it really seems that men have the harder end of the deal, as we are told to love our wives just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25). We are to lead as servants, making it essential that we tend to the needs and desires of our wives above our own – not exerting authority like a tyrant as a lot of people first think when they read this passage.

Wouldn't you think a lot of guys are creeps?

A lot of girls are “creeps” too. Again, the coin flips on both sides. Did something happen to you that has caused you to have a high disdain and hatred for mankind? That’s really how you’re coming across here.

I don't think a male writing a book about how I feel and think and what I want and need is going to cut it. Sorry!

Again, this is nothing more than the logic fallacy of ad hominemn. Have you read the book? If so, what do you disagree with? I’d especially be interested to know what part of John Eldredge’s book you disagree with in light of the fact that nearly every young lady I’ve spoken to (who has actually read the book) agreed completely with what he had to say. This whole “because you’re a guy, you must be wrong” mentality simply must go.

But anyway, the book says nothing of a WOMAN'S heart being won back.

That is not the purpose of the book. You might as well complain that a science textbook does not contain algebraic formulas. These are two different subjects.

Do you guys think we haven't been stifled too?

Of course we don’t think that. If you actually read Wild At Heart, you’ll notice there’s an entire section titled “Eve’s Wound” on page 182-184. It really seems nonsensical to complain about a book you have never read and understood.

Does this author not think women want adventure and purpose in our lives? Oh of course not we wouldn't want that!!!

Once again, your statement tells me that you really have not read this book. Let me quote something for you, my lady: “A woman doesn’t want to be the adventure; she wants to be caught up into something greater than herself. Our friend went on to say, ‘I know myself and I know I’m not the adventure. So when a man makes me the point, I grow bored immediately. I know that story. Take me into one I don’t know’” (Wild At Heart, pp. 16-17). Obviously, you’re arguing against a straw man here – not the actual author.

It just seems this book does not address anything like that and I'm fed up with men trying to write about women and what we need, when they really don't have a clue.

No offense, but given some of the statements you’ve written, it seems you really don’t have a clue about what this author is writing about. It seems you’ve only stereo-typed all men as chauvinistic and ignorant about women’s true desires and have grouped this author, whose book you apparently have not read, into that category.

Some men may not be the type who want to pick a fight all the time. Does this make them unmanly?

No, and this book doesn’t say this. Perhaps you should read it some time, but before you do, I suggest you drop this anti-male sentiment that seems to have intoxicated you.

It seems that's what this book is saying. I just think the writer tried to hit the target and got off somewhere!

And as a man who has actually read the book, along with every friend of mine who has also read it (be it male or female), I’m saying the author of Wild At Heart hit a bull’s-eye.

 

[life_beckons]

ahhh.. what jedi said

 

[Justin04]

Eh I give up on this thread! I still don't really agree with all this guy has to say in his book and the ideals it gives men. I think it's too fanciful and most guys really need a doce of reality! No offense, but if he wanted to write a book with these points, 1. write it so that it hits reality and doesn't have guys going and daydreaming about rescuing their future wife and becoming so idealistic they can't see clearly anymore and 2. have your wife or another FEMALE write one about females, cuz he's a guy so um yah I'm sure he just knows ALL about what it's like to be a woman! You guys should put yourselves in our place for a moment...not trying to rescue us but to stop and think through history and even today what it must be like to be a woman. I'm not saying there are not good aspects, but it's not the easiest thing in the world to be. If you want to understand women, talk to some and try to imagine what it would be like to be living as a woman in society today as opposed to being a man.

If you were a woman, wouldn't you find something a bit confusing about the whole submission thing? Wouldn't you think a lot of guys are creeps? I don't think a male writing a book about how I feel and think and what I want and need is going to cut it. Sorry!

God bless those of you who have been blessed by this book, but it is just not for me.

I didnt like the book at all! Didnt do anything for me. I felt there was WAY WAY WAY too many generizations! He says on one part ALL guys want these 3 things and ALL girls want this three things and thats just the way we are and want to feel this way. I thought that was ****.

Living for him, i felt the same way you did!