Wife has "secret" account?

[Woodsy]

The other day I went to check my online mail account and when I got to the site it looked like I was already logged in.
I was confused by the info I saw, though, until it became clear to me that my wife had to have been checking her own online email account and forgot to log out.
Well, it's got me kind of weirded out because it's an email address she's never told me about and it has what appears to be a fictional woman's name in the name field, while the email address itself contains her real name.
I used the account to send myself a test email to see what it looked like. She appears to have the account set up so that it does not automatically store a copy of email sent from the account. The inbox itself is full of nothing but spam.
I feel a little weird about this "secret" email account. She has an online email account which she has told me about and which I use to contact her when she is out of town, but this is one that she's never told me about, and trust me, we tell each other everything. Or I thought we did. She already has three email accounts that she has told me about. But she's never told me about this one.
It especially weirds me out that the account is configured not to save a copy of email sent from the account. And that there is nothing in the inbox except spam.
Spam doesn't usually get sent to an email account unless it is being used, and if only spam is in your inbox, you must be regularly deleting the non-spam email you do get via that account.
An additional odd thing is that she has my name on part of the account.
Am I right to feel a little suspicious about this?

 

[moonkitty]

I have an e-mail account set up just for website that make you join by giving them an e-mail address before you can acess the website. Like this CF forum. I'm not giving them my actuall e-mail that I check daily. It would be full of spam. If I want to go to a site that lets you print off cupons, I will give them my "spam" e-mail. Not my personal one.

I really don't think I have ever given my hubby the spam account. Why should I? It never even occured to me to think he'd want it. Of course if he found out about it he also wouldn't freak out and assume the worse.

Maybe there is nothing in the sent file becaue she has never sent anything? I have never sent any e-mail from my spam address. That is all it is there for, to collect spam from websites that require an address before you can join.

And believe me it is full of spam. I have to go into it once a week and there is usully 100+ adds and other various spam.

 

[Adamantium]

I have an account just like moonkitty's. So does my husband. It's good practice to use a junk account to sign up for websites that might spam you. And like her, I've never once sent anything from it. Every few months I check it and empty out all the spam from my inbox.

 

[JulySheMustFly]

First, have you spoken to your wife about this in a non-confrontational suspicious way?

I have a handful of e-mail accounts that I've set up for online activities like checking out a new forum, requesting info etc. I don't want to be spammed in our family e-mail. I don't think I've mentioned it to my husband. I'm not hiding anything. I don't use it for anything. I don't sent e-mail from it. I honestly think it sits and collects spam until I use it for another website. Oh, I also use a variation of my real name and a phone number that used to be ours. I don't trust every website out there with my personal info. *shrug* Just food for thought before you accuse your wife of any funny business.

 

[Antje]

I also have an e-mail account that I only use when I suspect that entering my e-mail address will leave me with a load of spam. It's an absolutely insignificant account, I'm not sure my husband even knows about it. He wouldn't care.

I wouldn't be even the slightest bit concerned about this e-mail account, especially since it's obviously just filled with spam. Talk to your wife about it if it makes you feel better, but do it in a really low-key way. A spam account is not worth bringing distrust into your marriage!

 

[Kodos]

Same here! I have one as well. I'm sure my wife does. Is there any reason why you do not trust that her motives here are benign?

If the same happened to me, I would immediately think it was just a junk email account. Unless, you have good cause to be suspicious.

 

[Caffeinated]

I think I have about 4 email addresses and my husband only knows about one...not because I'm hiding anything, but because they're insignificant. I log into them every few months to clean out the spam.

 

[snoochface]

Another thought -- Christmas just passed, and if she's one to do a lot of her shopping online, especially for you, she might have created a junk account for the purchase emails. Order received, order on backorder, order shipped, etc., she wouldn't want you seeing any of that. But it would have spam in it for sure.

Also, I don't know what kind of account it is, but I'm pretty sure that Yahoo accounts do not save sent emails by default setting. You have to purposefully change the setting to save your sent emails. I might be thinking about Hotmail for this, but it's one of the two (or both) because I remember being really annoyed at one point that my sent emails weren't saved, and then I checked the settings and saw why. It saves them on server space and I guess a lot of people wouldn't even notice.

So don't jump to a bad conclusion right off the bat without talking to her about it. There's likely a very good explanation.

 

[HuntingMan]

The other day I went to check my online mail account and when I got to the site it looked like I was already logged in.
I was confused by the info I saw, though, until it became clear to me that my wife had to have been checking her own online email account and forgot to log out.
Well, it's got me kind of weirded out because it's an email address she's never told me about and it has what appears to be a fictional woman's name in the name field, while the email address itself contains her real name.
I used the account to send myself a test email to see what it looked like. She appears to have the account set up so that it does not automatically store a copy of email sent from the account. The inbox itself is full of nothing but spam.
I feel a little weird about this "secret" email account. She has an online email account which she has told me about and which I use to contact her when she is out of town, but this is one that she's never told me about, and trust me, we tell each other everything. Or I thought we did. She already has three email accounts that she has told me about. But she's never told me about this one.
It especially weirds me out that the account is configured not to save a copy of email sent from the account. And that there is nothing in the inbox except spam.
Spam doesn't usually get sent to an email account unless it is being used, and if only spam is in your inbox, you must be regularly deleting the non-spam email you do get via that account.
An additional odd thing is that she has my name on part of the account.
Am I right to feel a little suspicious about this?

I use junk email accts to join sites that I KNOW are going to send spam to keep the junk out of my regular email boxes.
However, it is odd that she has the settings to not keep a copy of emails sent. Cant see the point in doing that if its just being used for that.

 

[Million Pieces]

Oh good heavens yes, I have at least 3 throw-away accounts. I think hubby has one or two himself, and HE'S been the one with the internet/email secret affairs.

Don't give it any more concern. But if it would make you feel a little better, bring it up with her gently, not in the heat of an argument, but just in a calm and non-threatening moment and tone of voice.

 

[ciaradawn]

you can get spam even if you haven't logged into the account for months.
I would ask her about it

 

[Woodsy]

1. The account is being used, as I can tell by her forgetting to log out of it a few times over the last few weeks.

2. The Inbox does not have any welcome emails from any boards, forums, etc. or any receipts for purchases, etc. I know this because like I said, I thought the account was mine when I first opened it so I looked at the boxes' contents.

3. The account has my name on it in one place, and a fictional name in another place.

4. Why set the email account so that it's default behavior is to delete all outgoing email messages?

It just has me wondering, is all.

 

[Autumnleaf]

Send her an email saying 'Hi baby' and see how she reacts.

 

[snoochface]

So have you asked her about it yet? You're wondering what's going on, but you're asking the wrong people.

 

[GodrockDJ]

I agree with most of the posters here. Both my hubby and I have several spam accounts each. Do I know all of my husbands'? Probably not. Do I care? Nope, because I trust him. And yes I do occasionally log into my spam account, for various reasons. Maybe once or twice a month. My husband recently surprised me with a weekend away for my birthday. Since I am very, very hard to surprise he had to go to extreme measures to do so - including creating an email account just for this venture

The real root of this matter probably lies in the questions Tropical Wilds asked....

 

[Antje]

Do you have reasons to be suspicious of her that you're not telling us about? I don't understand why this is such a big deal, and I don't understand why you haven't talked to her about it yet. That makes me think that perhaps more is going on here than you're telling us.

 

[Woodsy]

Probably nothing more is going on here than my own insecurity.
Also, I'm living in a worldview I helped to create for myself when I was younger: I was the "other man" a few times and so have affirmed for myself on a deep level a world in which infidelity is not rare.
Paying the price of my own shortcomings.

 

[Antje]

Ah. I pray that God will keep you strong and well in your marriage! I'm sure your self-awareness is a good sign that you're trying hard. Keep praying and surround yourself with good friends who will help keep you on track, and above all keep up good communication with your wife. God bless!

 

[AlabamaMan]

What if you set up your own junk account and then tell her about it. Maybe she will tell you about hers?
Honestly, I might be uneasy about myself, if I were in your shoes.
Just don't jump to conclusions...and talk to her.

 

[Woodsy]

Perhaps as we're preparing for sleep tonight I'll call her by the name on the email account...