Wierd, difficult "crush"

[JCteen2020]

Ok so I am a teenager and their is this young lady at my church who is in college. She is one of many friends within my web of friends. I have friends are friends with this girl as well. They to are in college.

... I have a "crush" on this young lady and I feel it is wrong and inappropriate for a couple of reasons which you can guess from the previous paragraph. I cannot seem to get rid of this "love bug". I've asked God countless times to help me overcome this. Results have yet to show.

There is one catch, which you may see as strange. I genuinely like this young lady. By like, I mean, like like. Thing that makes me believe this is different is the fact that I do not think of this girl like I do any other girl a have or might soon have a crush on. And this is not an infatuation either.

I really, really need help understanding and finding out what this feeling is. Someone please help me. I want the wisest advice you can give, please.

 

[EazyMack]

I don't get what's abnormal about this.

 

[NaturallyGone]

Best advice I can give you: Be COMPLETELY honest with said girl. Tell her you like her. Tell her how your feelings for her make you feel (as in, why you feel it is wrong and inappropriate). If she doesn't say she likes you back, odds are, you will have at least earned some respect in her book for being completely honest.

 

[Purge187]

Best advice I can give you: Be COMPLETELY honest with said girl. Tell her you like her. Tell her how your feelings for her make you feel (as in, why you feel it is wrong and inappropriate). If she doesn't say she likes you back, odds are, you will have at least earned some respect in her book for being completely honest.

I don't know about this. If the other girl doesn't feel the same way, there could be some serious alienation.

I myself would feel extremely uncomfortable if another man confessed to having a guy-crush on me.

 

[JCteen2020]

Best advice I can give you: Be COMPLETELY honest with said girl. Tell her you like her. Tell her how your feelings for her make you feel (as in, why you feel it is wrong and inappropriate). If she doesn't say she likes you back, odds are, you will have at least earned some respect in her book for being completely honest.

Thanks for the advice but she would likely be creeped out if I told her that her like the way I do. She is 19 years old and I just turned 16 in November. And she is really good friends with the youth group leaders who are in college as well. They are also my good friends. Last year one of those leaders pulled me aside and we had a private talk about inappropriately texting this young lady and another young lady. I was just texting them a lot, it wasn't sexting or anything. Anyways, I stopped texting these girls, one of them being this young lady that I like. If the youth group leader that talked to me found out that I like this young lady he would be really upset with me.

 

[JCteen2020]

I don't get what's abnormal about this.

The thing that is abnormal about this situation is the fact that there is a considerable gap in age between this young lady and I. Also, she is a church friend and is very well known in my church. She is also a strong woman of God. She actually goes to CFNI. She is blessed by God beyond comprehension.

 

[JCteen2020]

I don't know about this. If the other girl doesn't feel the same way, there could be some serious alienation.

I myself would feel extremely uncomfortable if another man confessed to having a guy-crush on me.

Um, I am a guy.

Just thought your reply was a little odd. I didn't if you thought I was a female. I didn't realize there wasn't an indication of gender in my initial post. Sorry.

 

[NaturallyGone]

Um, I am a guy.

Just thought your reply was a little odd. I didn't if you thought I was a female. I didn't realize there wasn't an indication of gender in my initial post. Sorry.

haha. for the record, next to your name, it shows the gender.

 

[JCteen2020]

Oh. Sorry. hahaha

 

[Paradoxum]

If my understanding of 'infatuation' is correct, then to me it sounds like infatuation. Why would you think it isn't? There's nothing bad about infatuation (which is difference from lust).

Sadly, considering your age difference, it might not work out. I don't know about you situation though, so take what I say as just the ramblings of some random person.

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking in this thread, but I hope that kinda helps.

 

[JCteen2020]

If my understanding of 'infatuation' is correct, then to me it sounds like infatuation. Why would you think it isn't? There's nothing bad about infatuation (which is difference from lust).

Sadly, considering your age difference, it might not work out. I don't know about you situation though, so take what I say as just the ramblings of some random person.

I'm not exactly sure what you're asking in this thread, but I hope that kinda helps.

I'm trying to figure out whether this is wrong or not. And what I should do about it. I can't just go on being foolish and not take any action to either rid of this "love bug" or just become better friends with her. We are friends but we don't really talk much. And I looked up infatuation. I guess that's what this is. But I don't like her like I would date her (if she were my age) and then break up and go date someone else. I have never liked a girl like this before.

 

[Paradoxum]

I'm trying to figure out whether this is wrong or not. And what I should do about it. I can't just go on being foolish and not take any action to either rid of this "love bug" or just become better friends with her. We are friends but we don't really talk much.

By wrong, do you mean that it might not work out? I suspect it sadly might not, because of the age difference, and the fact that you don't talk much. Again, its hard to know without knowing your situation well.

I suppose, if you wanted to lose this feeling, it might help to accept that you are just friends, and that wont change. It might just go away with time, or if you meet another girl you like.

And I looked up infatuation. I guess that's what this is. But I don't like her like I would date her (if she were my age) and then break up and go date someone else. I have never liked a girl like this before.

I know how you mean. I'm pretty sure I felt the same way around your age, and it didn't work out.

 

[JCteen2020]

By wrong, do you mean that it might not work out? I suspect it sadly might not, because of the age difference, and the fact that you don't talk much. Again, its hard to know without knowing your situation well.

I suppose, if you wanted to lose this feeling, it might help to accept that you are just friends, and that wont change. It might just go away with time, or if you meet another girl you like.



I know how you mean. I'm pretty sure I felt the same way around your age, and it didn't work out.

I know for a fact that it won't work. I mean wrong as in bad. And I have accepted that we're just friends. I know outright this friendship won't go any farther than it has. I'm just stuck on where to go on the mental side of things. How do I get rid of these thoughts? How am I supposed to go about suppressing the situation?

I actually just talked to that youth leader that would be incredulous if I told him. He did the opposite. He actually answered all the questions I had and gave the advice I was looking for. Don't get me wrong though. I am grateful for all the advice that was given in this thread. Anyway, I now know what to do about this and I'm certainly going to follow through. Again, thank you all and God bless.

 

[Paradoxum]

I know for a fact that it won't work. I mean wrong as in bad. And I have accepted that we're just friends. I know outright this friendship won't go any farther than it has. I'm just stuck on where to go on the mental side of things. How do I get rid of these thoughts? How am I supposed to go about suppressing the situation?

I actually just talked to that youth leader that would be incredulous if I told him. He did the opposite. He actually answered all the questions I had and gave the advice I was looking for. Don't get me wrong though. I am grateful for all the advice that was given in this thread. Anyway, I now know what to do about this and I'm certainly going to follow through. Again, thank you all and God bless.

Good for you.

 

[NaturallyGone]

Hope everything winds up going alright.

Btw, quick question, and not trying to sound excluding/rude or anything, but... why'd you post a thread in here? Only asking cause you said you just turned 16 in November, and the intended audience/posters for the "young adult" section are people age 18 to mid-thirties. Glad I could try to help just kinda curious why you picked the young adults one to post in.

 

[JCteen2020]

Hope everything winds up going alright.

Btw, quick question, and not trying to sound excluding/rude or anything, but... why'd you post a thread in here? Only asking cause you said you just turned 16 in November, and the intended audience/posters for the "young adult" section are people age 18 to mid-thirties. Glad I could try to help just kinda curious why you picked the young adults one to post in.

I don't know. I couldn't find a section for teens so I just chose the one closest to my age. Also, I didn't see there was one for younger adults. I'm not a younger adult but that would be closer to my age wouldn't it? Younger Adults is for 17-23.