Widowed last June and still have a lot to do.

[NIrelandGillian]

My husband passed away last June and I am still kept very busy with his affairs, doing stuff that he would have been responsible for, working on things needing done around the house, helping my 3 special needs children with their many issues plus all the responsibilities I had and continue to have. When I tell people I am tired and busy, they say oh it's good to be busy, but it's not the kind of busy I enjoy.

There are a lot of maintenance jobs needing done around the house and someone suggested I just put it up for sale and my sister has taken on the role of encouraging me to do that, but it's not as easy as it sounds as I am not ready for that change.

One thing I took a while to get used to was the fact of widowhood - I knew my husband had passed away and that made me a widow, but it was difficult to get my head around or believe the fact that I was a widow. I had to keep saying it to myself - 'You are a widow'.

Through the two years of his illness and his passing I have known the peace of God and the assurance that He is in control and doesn't make mistakes.

Gillian

 

[By_the_Book]

My husband passed away last June and I am still kept very busy with his affairs, doing stuff that he would have been responsible for, working on things needing done around the house, helping my 3 special needs children with their many issues plus all the responsibilities I had and continue to have. When I tell people I am tired and busy, they say oh it's good to be busy, but it's not the kind of busy I enjoy.

There are a lot of maintenance jobs needing done around the house and someone suggested I just put it up for sale and my sister has taken on the role of encouraging me to do that, but it's not as easy as it sounds as I am not ready for that change.

One thing I took a while to get used to was the fact of widowhood - I knew my husband had passed away and that made me a widow, but it was difficult to get my head around or believe the fact that I was a widow. I had to keep saying it to myself - 'You are a widow'.

Through the two years of his illness and his passing I have known the peace of God and the assurance that He is in control and doesn't make mistakes.

Gillian

My has been also passed away last year in April, coincidentally after 2 years of dealing with the after effects of three strokes. We were married 37 years, loved each other deeply and we're great friends but like most marriages we had our challenges. He was only 60 years old and I am 57 relatively young for a widow.

I do know how odd it feels to be a widow especially if you've been married like myself for most of your life. I got married when I was 19.

I had some good people there for me immediately and who advised me rightfully so to do absolutely nothing as far as making major decisions or changes in my life for at least one year. And I am so glad I did. Initially I wanted to get rid of my house, but now I can't imagine leaving it. I've learned I can do all kinds of things around the house that I never imagined I could do between the two years of his illness and the year since he's passed I've had to do quite a bit on my own. So I can relate to some small degree to what you're writing about.

People love us and they want what is best for us but only God and you know what is best for you. People provide a lot of input and advice but often the people who are providing the input and advice have never gone through what we're going through and they certainly don't have to live with the ramifications of the decisions made. So what I would say is, do not do anything that you are not absolutely comfortable with doing and have peace with. Choices for your life should only be based on true inner peace from God, a firm belief it's right for you, and a comfort that you're moving in the right direction.

 

[raeeldri]

My husband passed away last June and I am still kept very busy with his affairs, doing stuff that he would have been responsible for, working on things needing done around the house, helping my 3 special needs children with their many issues plus all the responsibilities I had and continue to have. When I tell people I am tired and busy, they say oh it's good to be busy, but it's not the kind of busy I enjoy.

There are a lot of maintenance jobs needing done around the house and someone suggested I just put it up for sale and my sister has taken on the role of encouraging me to do that, but it's not as easy as it sounds as I am not ready for that change.

One thing I took a while to get used to was the fact of widowhood - I knew my husband had passed away and that made me a widow, but it was difficult to get my head around or believe the fact that I was a widow. I had to keep saying it to myself - 'You are a widow'.

Through the two years of his illness and his passing I have known the peace of God and the assurance that He is in control and doesn't make mistakes.

Gillian

Gillian,
I kind of get it. My wife passed last September. I just recently dealt with the last of her estate. We were married for 36 years and from 1988 we had to deal with MS with her. So I became her primary caregiver. So, after her death, I went from that to a widower. Even though I have a lot to keep me busy there are times I wonder what the point is because she is the reason I am working on the projects I am working on. Yet the place the Lord brought us to, is for a bigger purpose. So, I have to remind myself that my strength comes from my relationship with YHVH. It is not the end rather it is the beginning of a new chapter in our life.
Rick

 

[raeeldri]

In all of this, all I can say is that YHVH has our back, and our front and He is with us through this tough time. I know that there are times when the sun does not seem to shine and there are other times when the sun never seems to stop shining. I do know that He brings joy into our lives, and we are allowed to breathe and partake in life again. Does that mean that we will forget them, never! Rather at the end of the process, we will be able to help others through their dark days.
Rick