"Widowed But Not Wiped Out!"

[chapel247]

I am single and have met a man who is widowed. We're getting to know each other and I would like to chat with someone who's been there so I understand what he's going through.

Hi there! My wife went home to be with the LORD 1/1/07. We were married for 18,yr.s
The promises of GOD kept my daughter and I strong through the whole exsperience, and we rejoice in the fact that now she is with the LORD which is absolutely wonderful; but the thing that must be understood by anyone that may possibly end up with a person such as myself is that our departed loved one's will always be a part of us. That is not to say that with GOD'S help some necessary restructuring can't take place, but it needs to be understood by the one uniting with a widow or widower that there remains an awareness of their loved one's existence. The Bible tells us "to be absent from the body is to be present with the LORD." This truth not only comforts us by letting us know all is well, it also let us know that our loved ones have not disapated, but rather relocated.
Understand that in this situation it's not a sin for the two of you to come together, but be sensitve to the possibility that GOD will use you in assisting the rebuilding of this person's life. After all, in the event that a marriage does takes place, you will have become this gentleman's help meet.
I think it's pretty cool that you would ask this question of those who might have a little insight on the subject. I believe that GOD will reward you as you continue to diligently seek HIM in this area.
Be blessed, and continue to keep your focus on JESUS, after all, HE's focused on you.
Your Brother In Christ,
Chapel247

 

[chapel247]

Amen to that, chapel247. That was very well said.

Thanks for saying so brother, but we both know if what we say contradics what the Master has already said on the subject, it's just a pretty sounding mess.
By the way, I checked out your picture, and I must say, that is some super cool bike you have there. If it's in the frame work of GOD'S plans with me, I do believe I'll get myself a toy simular to that.

 

[chapel247]

I lost my wife of 30 years, just over a year ago and all our children have grown and started families of their own so can give no advice in that area.. You can only hope they are accepting children, but as Jean said, never try to be their mother. If you are to become anthing close to their confidante, let them initiate it. Be caring and understanding to them. Blood runs pretty thick and if there's a problem with the kids, there will be a problem with your relationship with their father. As to understanding what he's going through, if you have not walked the walk, I don't think it will ever be possible, but that does not mean the two of you can not love each other. It just means it's going to take a lot of work on your part, and the ablility to overlook a lot because his love for his first wife will always be there. It's not like marrying a divorcee because there is no bitterness here, only love and lonliness. I would also advise you not to rush in to anything. I can tell you firsthand that there are feelings of begging for companionship that can be mistaken for strong feelings for someone, only to find out after a while that they were only feelings of infatuation. Be sure his feelings for you are the right ones, not just trying to fill an empty space..and only taking it slow and easy will accomplish that. Loneliness can influence feelings in a moment. Love takes time to nurture and build...but it can be done...and perhaps you are just what he needs. Just be sure you are aware of the baggage he's bringing with him. Let God direct you and you won't go wrong.

Good luck and may God bless you,
Missinyou

Praise GOD brother! That was excellent advise!
When you find the time would you mind writing a little on how the LORD kept you occupied after your wife's departure?
I do believe you have valuble information on the subject that would incredibly bless someone.
Either way I was blessed by the little info you've already shared. GOD bless you, and thank you.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Hi Sister! I appologize for taking so long to answer.
There's no need to ask for forgiveness. This is a forum where we are able to discuss certain issues and believe GOD that in those discussions, others will receive their healing.
My wife was diagnosed with cancer in 2004. From that time, till the time she went home, she lived a very fruitful life, witnessing the LORD JESUS Christ to as many as the LORD would lead.
Concerning the condition of her health, we just never gave it that much thought, believe it or not, because we believed according to GOD'S word that healing is a forever settled subject. We casted our cares on the Lord and said, "Father, we know we're healed by the stripes of JESUS, so we elect to keep our focus on you and continue spreading your word!" That's what we continued to do up until the day she went to be with the Lord.
Since that day, I've told people what I'm about to tell you, and some get it, and some look at me like a three-dollar-bill.
Like Peter, when you willfully elect to keep your eyes focused on JESUS, even in the worst of circumstances, HE will cause you to walk on the water of whatever situation your dealing with. This truth is not something reserved for the disciples of old, but also for us today. My seventeen yr, old daughter, and I have been exsperiencing an over abundance of blessings in every way, just because we decided that JESUS is bigger than any cicumstance that could come our way. We know where our loved one is, and also that she is in good hands, so we just continue foward with great exspectation saying, "OK JESUS, we'll see her later! What do you want us to do now?"
I know to some that can sound callous and cold, but it's not; it's confidence in the one that promised to meet ALL of our needs. We needed strength, HE provided it. We needed assurance, HE provided it. We need to go on and live this life that HE created and HE provides what ever is necessary to do it in godly fashion.
I could go on and on. GOD is just so awesome. HIS peace truly does surpass all natural understanding.

I agree with EVERYTHING you said and feel the same way! My two sons are doing excellent and love the Lord, and I believe it is because I am OK and love the Lord. We know their Dad is just gone from us for awhile, but we will see him in eternity. Thanks for all your sharing. Alot of people think that these tragedies of death could not be God's will. But I disagree with them. It was TOTALLY in God's will for Jesus to die, for what Joseph went thru, Noah, David etc etc. We do not have God's plan or know it, but He does. And he works everything out for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. God Bless you!

 

[rjoymac]

Hi, I lost my husband 5 years ago, he losted his fight with cancer. We found out in Dec. 2001 and he died Jan. 2002. I know what it means two become one. You depend on one another in so many ways. We were highschool sweethearts. My kids are all grown and have familys. So it was hard. And because it happen so fast the kids had a real hard time with is. He had always been so strong. You do miss having someone and I to heat being alone. But I know God has a plan. And He will take care of us. And You are all in my paryer. God bless.

 

[chapel247]

Hi, I lost my husband 5 years ago, he losted his fight with cancer. We found out in Dec. 2001 and he died Jan. 2002. I know what it means two become one. You depend on one another in so many ways. We were highschool sweethearts. My kids are all grown and have familys. So it was hard. And because it happen so fast the kids had a real hard time with is. He had always been so strong. You do miss having someone and I to heat being alone. But I know God has a plan. And He will take care of us. And You are all in my paryer. God bless.

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sure all on this subject understands the emotional part that's commonly associated with this exsperience. I pray that you and everyone else on this board will find not just comfort, but an abundant excitement as the realization of our loved one's keeping permiates our beings. The reality of their continual existance in Heaven is something that keeps me overjoyed. I hope you can rejoice with me as we move foward fulfilling GOD'S plans in our lives.
I thank GOD for you and yours. HE will continue to meet ALL of your needs according to HIS riches in glory by Christ JESUS. Remember, HE'S not finished with us yet!

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Thank you so much for sharing. I'm sure all on this subject understands the emotional part that's commonly associated with this exsperience. I pray that you and everyone else on this board will find not just comfort, but an abundant excitement as the realization of our loved one's keeping permiates our beings. The reality of their continual existance in Heaven is something that keeps me overjoyed. I hope you can rejoice with me as we move foward fulfilling GOD'S plans in our lives.
I thank GOD for you and yours. HE will continue to meet ALL of your needs according to HIS riches in glory by Christ JESUS. Remember, HE'S not finished with us yet!

I agree with all that! I am glad that we will see our loved ones again. They are gone only for a short while from us, compared to eternity. God Bless you too!!!