Why would you date online?

[ignorant and stupid]

I've been reading these threads about longdistance and online relationships, which are obviously happening. But is it happening because people would rather date online, or because they just meet people online? Because they don't have confidence to do it face to face? Why?

I'm just wondering... speculate away...

 

[OrangeHope]

2 and a half years ago i met this guy online from the UK, i really just started talking to him cause i was bored. well we really liked each other and decided to date online. i'm not incontact with this guy any more, he treated me like dirt when i was putting every effort in our relationship. i would call him email him, send him letters and pictures and he NEVER even once called me, some times i would call him just to ask him to get online, he never would ask me to be online to talk, i felt like if i was there i was there, if not is was no big deal to him. funny thing is i wasn't even working when i would call and he was just making excuses saying "oh i don't have any money to call.." though he had a fourm and on there he was telling his friends he's buying this video game and that video game. just seemed like he never really cared about me and i was too blind to see it. now i have a great bf who's such a sweetheart, we both put effort into our relationship. personaly after what happen with the guy i met online i don't think i'll ever date online again, from storys i'v read i think it's possible to find love online but i would be really carefull to who i talk to.

 

[canehdianhotstuff]

i have....no success...yet

 

[barefeetonholyground]

I have always loved meeting people online, I've just made better friends that way than the ones in real life. The reason I dated online was because I got close enough to him to want to date him, him likewise. My motivations with online dating were the same as with any other guy: finding a marriage partner. Sure enough, he was it. My online boyfriend and I were married three weeks ago, after about a year of long distance dating. I couldn't be happier.

 

[Linnis]

I wasn't looking to meet a person I'd like online, let alone someone I'd want to get to know enough to go meet etc it just happened.

I actually prefer online dating, no movies, TV, etc etc to get in the way of just talking and believe me after 11 months of chatting daily and emails and snail mail and phone calls one had talked about EVERYTHING so when we met we already knew so much about the person it's like we already had met and we had.

People look down on where I met my Husband but I have to wonder like Blue said is a bar any better?

 

[JustLiz87]

I have dated people I met through classes and friends, but I have also dated people I met online. Currently, I am dating a guy I met originally online (we've been dating for 2 years at the end of March). We met through a site, we weren't really looking for a relationship or anything like that, but we started chatting almost every day for several hours. Sometimes we stayed up all hours of the night, just chatting. We learned a lot about each other including our interests, goals, relationship with God, beliefs, and tons of other stuff. I feel like this gave us a good foundation to start a relationship on. About two months after we started talking online, we met and went on a date (we only lived about an hour away from each other). We officially became a couple about a month later and have been together ever since. I think the internet gave us a way to get to know each other before any distractions got in the way. We were able to be ourselves and learn about the other person. Our first date was amazing and our relationship gets stronger and stronger.

That was a long way to just say that as other posters have said, online dating is a unique way to meet someone. It provides a much different context than say at a bar. I'm not saying it's the only way to meet people, it just worked out well for me.

 

[freedom4all]

I don't think it's any better or worse than real life, just different.

A guy friend of mine met someone on the internet named Chris a few years back, and they thought it would be cool to not exchange pictures or talk on the phone before meeting for the first time. (I'm sure you know where this is going.) When he went to meet her, "she" was a dude!!! The guy actually tried to convince my friend that it wasn't much different dating a guy and that he should give it a chance! My friend was not happy and almost beat the guy up, but he was being pretty stupid about it. I mean, to not talk on the phone? Come on, now!

 

[ahmunmun]

"Why would you date online?"

I wouldn't. I don't want to end up meeting a stalker. How can you tell if someone online is a stalker? You can't.

I think parents have a natural tendency to worry that their children might meet a dangerous person online. If the parents met each other online, would they have a proud love story to tell their children? Would they dare to tell their children not to meet people they talk to online, when their children could say, "But you two met online!"?

That's why I don't recommend online dating. For me, I would rather meet my future spouse in person, and encourage my future children to do the same.

I think those who have dated successfully online are lucky. It's not every case where the person you meet online turns out to be a non-stalker.

EDIT: Wow... I think I've used the word "stalker" about three times. As you can tell, I did not have very good experience with guys who pursue me, so I tend to me stalker-paranoid. Still, it's harder to tell if someone is one if you just talk to the person online.

 

[Linnis]

A woman met a man at church, dated him and married him, 12 years later learned he was a serial killer in his free time. No Matter where you meet someone they may be unsafe.
My family freaked when I said I met my boyfriend online, would they have been happier if I said "At a bar" or "On the bus" or "At a rave" probably not. Then again the guy I met "at school" was the one who turned out to be a weirdo, not the one online.

Good liars, can lie just as well in person as online, so please be careful no matter where you meet a man. Don't just think because you met him face to face that you know him, because he could lie about everything except his looks just like an online can. I think people get this false sence of security from face to face meetings with new people, just because you see them physically doesn't mean they are more than strangers.

 

[barefeetonholyground]

A woman met a man at church, dated him and married him, 12 years later learned he was a serial killer in his free time. No Matter where you meet someone they may be unsafe.
My family freaked when I said I met my boyfriend online, would they have been happier if I said "At a bar" or "On the bus" or "At a rave" probably not. Then again the guy I met "at school" was the one who turned out to be a weirdo, not the one online.

Good liars, can lie just as well in person as online, so please be careful no matter where you meet a man. Don't just think because you met him face to face that you know him, because he could lie about everything except his looks just like an online can. I think people get this false sence of security from face to face meetings with new people, just because you see them physically doesn't mean they are more than strangers.

Good good point. I've met weirder people on the city bus than on the internet.

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

In the past I have done it, but mostly tried to talk to people who lived in my area so that if something went well, we could meet up.

 

[The Julikenz]

I've never dated online. Can't say it's my style; it's not.

"At a bar" or "On the bus" or "At a rave"

IMO it's unimportant where you meet someone, the focus should be on how you choose to pursue a relationship with them.

 

[felinity]

I wasn't trying to meet someone online; I just happened to spend a lot of time there. My fiance began as my acquaintance and then my friend before our relationship evolved into something more.

 

[Inperfected]

PErsonally if i was single, i would try NOT to... It creates issues as you don't get what the other is thinking and feelign from the physical aspect of their behaviour...

I spent a few months in a sort of one.. .and it sucked.. I wouldn't go there again..

 

[Amy47]

not too sure

 

[giddybiscuit]

My husband and I met on the Internet. Neither of us set out looking for a romantic relationship online--it kind of just happened. We started talking, found out we had a lot in common, were mutually attracted, and the rest is history. We did meet in person about 18 months before we got engaged.

 

[Moluku]

It just happened for me. We both met here on the forums and began chatting. He's coming to visit me in April.

My mom was fine with where I met my bf. The rest of my family, and even some friends, weren't as keen on the idea. My bf and I were both told the same stories about not really knowing someone until you meet them, stories of people who were burned by relationships, the cliche "met and killed", and just trusting someone you met over the internet.

We didn't let these things defeat us and gained the support of our families. Meeting online was to our benefit because the likelihood of meeting in person was slim. God blessed us both in His timing when He allowed us both to meet here on the boards when we did. My bf has become a precious part of my life, and meeting the man I love online was the last thing I ever imagined. But how happy I am to have met him in such an unconventional way.

 

[livingdeadgirl07]

So far, relationships which started online for me, haven't turned out well in real life. Probably because you can't observe how the person reacts to different circumstances and who they are beyond the persona they put on over the internet. It's tough to really get to know someone without knowing them in person. Online or on the phone they can tell you whatever they want about themselves; whereas in person it's easier to see through the lies.

 

[Inperfected]

Heh... now i could say we met online actually... cos I met him online (little i knew he'd seen me before and thought i was beautiful (when i was 15 btw!))...

but realistically a month later we met in person and have seen each other so often since then... he lived an hour away then, but i spent more time in his town than my own

 

[Sabina41]

I fell into dating online just by circumstance. Friends from work wanted me to join MySpace so I did and 2 months later I'm dating a really great guy who lives just 10 minutes away. I never would have met him without joining MySpace. Dating online doesn't have to mean talking to someone from miles and miles and miles away and not meeting them for ages because of the distance. Matt and I talked online for 2 weeks, then met for a real date. The truth is that I'm not interested in any of the guys at college (most act like they're 12 and I go to a very small school anyway) and I don't care for the bar scene. It's difficult for me to meet people around here, but MySpace or some other online service can make connections between people that wouldn't have been there otherwise. Of course there are risks and dangers to it too (I went on a few dates with some crazy guys before meeting Matt) but it can turn out well.

~Ashley