Why would God allow someone to be single their whole life if they desire to be married?

[Macchiato]

I just wonder why give the person that desire if it wont be fufilled.

Reminds me of this girl named Ashley I read about who had a boyfriend and wanted kids

But felt strongly called to be a nun and acepted that calling.


Is it to help us deny our flesh and be conformed Gods will rather than our own?

 

[OldWiseGuy]

Historically not everyone married. Marriage was promoted commercially in the west after WW2. Things are just returning to normal, many choosing the single life. I was married for 5 years, have two children, and been single again for the past 43 years and loving it. I was not cut out for marriage but wanted children, so I got married. My children and my grandchildren are the joy of my life, but my marriage was a disaster.

 

[Rest]

Some people idolize their desires and God isn't going to answer prayers that correlate with you receiving those desires that you idolize. Gotta put God first.

 

[Miles]

I'm temped to put this in the category of why does God allow bad things to happen to good people, but being married is only as good as the relationship itself. It isn't necessarily better than being single.

Why does God let anything negative happen? This is a fallen world; not paradise. When good things do happen, they're a blessing rather than something we're entitled to.

Is it to help us deny our flesh and be conformed Gods will rather than our own?

I think it can be. An opportunity for personal growth is a blessing.

 

[Rest]

Many times God allows bad things to happen that are intended to prepare us for something great. The testing of your faith produces endurance. Look at everything that happened in Josephs life before his dreams were finally fulfilled.

 

[Macchiato]

I agree with everything you guys are saying.

 

[Macchiato]

Some people idolize their desires and God isn't going to answer prayers that correlate with you receiving those desires that you idolize. Gotta put God first.

Very true.

 

[Sketcher]

Depends on the individual circumstances. God can use either married life or single life to sanctify.

 

[Jamdoc]

what I worry about is that if we die with that unfulfilled desire, and we know in heaven there won't be marriage. So that desire is unfulfilled forever?
That leaves only 2 options, that "I missed out on something good" gnaws away at you for all eternity
or God brainwashes you to not have that desire.
Neither are ideal outcomes.

 

[Macchiato]

what I worry about is that if we die with that unfulfilled desire, and we know in heaven there won't be marriage. So that desire is unfulfilled forever?
That leaves only 2 options, that "I missed out on something good" gnaws away at you for all eternity
or God brainwashes you to not have that desire.
Neither are ideal outcomes.

I dont like that brainwashing word you used. I think in heaven God being the very essence of love and so complete in love that that desire will be filled by him.

 

[Jamdoc]

I dont like that brainwashing word you used. I think in heaven God being the very essence of love and so complete in love that that desire will be filled by him.

God is male, if you're a male... that.. it's different, a male doesn't want a male lover (at least they shouldn't), we want a male leader, a male father, a male friend, a male God... but the spouse euphemism that Paul talks about never ceases to make me uncomfortable.
So, as a male, if I have a desire for a FEMALE spouse, God doesn't fill that need, it's a different desire entirely for God. You having God as your father, as your friend as your leader and as your God.. still leaves that hole where a female spouse would be, so it is still an unfulfilled desire.
So either that desire is LEFT unfulfilled, or it has to be taken away and you have to forget that you ever had that desire, hence brainwashing, lobotomy, it is the removal of something that was important to you.

 

[Macchiato]

God is male, if you're a male... that.. it's different, a male doesn't want a male lover (at least they shouldn't), we want a male leader, a male father, a male friend, a male God... but the spouse euphemism that Paul talks about never ceases to make me uncomfortable.
So, as a male, if I have a desire for a FEMALE spouse, God doesn't fill that need, it's a different desire entirely for God. You having God as your father, as your friend as your leader and as your God.. still leaves that hole where a female spouse would be, so it is still an unfulfilled desire.
So either that desire is LEFT unfulfilled, or it has to be taken away and you have to forget that you ever had that desire, hence brainwashing, lobotomy, it is the removal of something that was important to you.

No but Gods love trancends any form of love we'll receive on earth. Its pure and overwhelming.

The love we long for can and will be filled by him

 

[Rest]

what I worry about is that if we die with that unfulfilled desire, and we know in heaven there won't be marriage. So that desire is unfulfilled forever?
That leaves only 2 options, that "I missed out on something good" gnaws away at you for all eternity
or God brainwashes you to not have that desire.
Neither are ideal outcomes.

Our time spent here on Earth is a microscopic fraction compared to the eternity that we will spend in Heaven as long as we are saved. If you're in Heaven still thinking "This is great and all.. but I never got married." That is sin and it is the same sin that caused Eve to bite the fruit because she was not satisfied with all that God had already given her and be mindful of the fact that Eve was married you know!

 

[Jamdoc]

No but Gods love trancends any form of love we'll receive on earth. Its pure and overwhelming.

The love we long for can and will be filled by him

it doesn't fill the role, because the desire is for a female's love, Adam had fellowship with God and God still said "It is not good that the man should be alone" So God created woman for him.

So we'll have fellowship with God, and God is going to look at us and say "It is good that the man should be alone"?

It is a DIFFERENT need. I just listed all the ways in which we need God and crave God, but unless God intends to change us all into females or changes Himself into a female when relating to male servants, He is not the same role. It's a different role in your needs. A more vital one, we'll still exist, and have joy in God even with a hole missing from an unfulfilled desire for a female spouse, for children, and anything else that is missing in heaven that we enjoyed, but just like you have a need to eat food and a need to drink water, fulfilling 1 need does not negate the other. You can't be starving to death, drink water, and nourish your body. You can't be parched for thirst and eat some beef jerky (being careful not to pick food that has a lot of water in it that could rehydrate..) and be rehydrated.

On the flip side, note the more vital, if we have an earthly spouse but do not have God, then that marriage is so empty it'll probably fall apart in divorce and broken heartedness, the marriage will not bring you happiness, not without God.
So in the hierarchy of needs having God is the top priority. Everything else is beneath it. In the hunger and thirst scenario, God's more important than both, God is the need for air to breathe, and you'll die a lot faster without breathing than you will from dehydration or starving.

 

[Jamdoc]

Our time spent here on Earth is a microscopic fraction compared to the eternity that we will spend in Heaven as long as we are saved. If you're in Heaven still thinking "This is great and all.. but I never got married." That is sin and it is the same sin that caused Eve to bite the fruit because she was not satisfied with all that God had already given her and be mindful of the fact that Eve was married you know!

see above. Adam had fellowship with God, and Adam still had needs, that God provided to him in the form of Eve.

 

[Drifter91]

I just wonder why give the person that desire if it wont be fufilled.

Reminds me of this girl named Ashley I read about who had a boyfriend and wanted kids

But felt strongly called to be a nun and acepted that calling.


Is it to help us deny our flesh and be conformed Gods will rather than our own?

I see your point though i'm no christian...sometimes you just gotta land on your calling...it can be tricky...but if one has principles and convictions...everything is answered...i feel obliged to having to finding the higher mysteries of a peaceful life...perhaps the uppermost of things means there is no such thing as sex...
we bunch of humans seek a comfort branch in our soul...maybe such relations are too hard on them...when really...they can look for other momentums...what can the mysteries of feelings means in the higher mysteries of momentums?...
maybe deep down inside in some women...they feel they need to wear god's armor in order to be an expansionistic into the ways of harmony and humbleness...
my point is...maybe some women doesn't want to feel uncomfortable in some things in sex...

 

[Rest]

see above. Adam had fellowship with God, and Adam still had needs, that God provided to him in the form of Eve.

God never said that it was a need; He simply did not want Adam to be alone and clearly He wanted them to produce offspring. Adam never even asked for Eve. Adam was happy and content. Some of our greatest blessings from God are at times blessings that we don't even ask for.

I leave you with this:

If you live in constant need then you are becoming dependent upon that need and you will not know how to live without that need until you lose it. God in all His infinite knowledge and ways of doing things wants to strengthen you and when you focus on Him, you are walking the path that He has laid out for you and His perfect will for you will manifest itself.

 

[Rest]

I just wonder why give the person that desire if it wont be fufilled.

Reminds me of this girl named Ashley I read about who had a boyfriend and wanted kids

But felt strongly called to be a nun and acepted that calling.


Is it to help us deny our flesh and be conformed Gods will rather than our own?

Remember that not all of our desires are given to us by God. Some of our desires are sinful and we may even want marriage and children based on sinful motives. We may proudly idolize that lifestyle.. "Here are my wife and kids as they are my trophies and representations of my accomplishments." Etc.. your motives must be pure.

James puts it perfectly

James 4:3

 

[Jamdoc]

God never said that it was a need; He simply did not want Adam to be alone and clearly He wanted them to produce offspring. Adam never even asked for Eve. Adam was happy and content. Some of our greatest blessings from God are at times blessings that we don't even ask for.

I leave you with this:

If you live in constant need then you are becoming dependent upon that need and you will not know how to live without that need until you lose it. God in all His infinite knowledge and ways of doing things wants to strengthen you and when you focus on Him, you are walking the path that He has laid out for you and His perfect will for you will manifest itself.

and yet those needs are God given and good.
God is a creator, He doesn't fulfill needs just by you staring at Him.

What I mean to say is that a lot of people have this idea that you will just bow around the throne and stare at Jesus and that fulfills all desires and makes you perfectly happy by itself. That's a very boring sounding eternity, God is a creator, what good desires you have God will create a means to fulfill them.
I don't know HOW He will create a means to satisfy a desire for marriage and family when there are no marriage and children, but the standard Christian reply of just stare at Jesus and that desire is fulfilled seems quite wrong, a desire for intimacy being fulfilled 100% through a male/male relationship also seems QUITE wrong especially when people use the marriage and even say sex is a pointer to that male/male relationship where in even Paul's teachings a male/male intimate relationship that is sexual in nature is as much of an abomination as it is in Leviticus.
So I really hope THAT isn't it. That for a life long bachelor what you get to look forward to as your only intimate relationship is to another male with a beard.
It also seems wrong that God would let it just be unfulfilled if it makes you unhappy, and it also seems wrong that God would "solve" it by TAKING AWAY, that doesn't seem like creator of heaven and earth that to fulfill a promise to give the desires of one's heart he just takes away all the desires from a person's heart and leaves them with no memory of ever wanting those things so He can say He fulfilled them.

The only means that God fulfills and makes someone happy, that is consistent with how He has always operated, has been God providing something, creating something to fulfill the need.
I just don't know what.

 

[Rest]

and yet those needs are God given and good.
God is a creator, He doesn't fulfill needs just by you staring at Him.

But if your need is based on sin then it isn't good and it doesn't come from God. Look at the life of Christ as a reflection of how we should live.. He didn't desire to be crucified obviously, who would? But He acknowledged to the Father, "Your will be done." God doesn't get what He desires either you know.. He wants all of humanity to be saved but not everyone will be.