Why There Is A Shortage of Christian Men, Even To Date?

[hockeysistah12]

I was reading an article from ChristianityToday about the shortage of Christian men in the church or the lack thereof. I wonder why there is a shortage of Godly men? is it because the church has been too femininzed or not too many men are interested in being in the church or what?

And at my age, there is a shortage of men and they go to their younger counterparts to date also.

Why there is the shortage of bible believing christian men?

 

[CoachR64]

Yes. It is because the church does not do a good job of meeting the needs of strong men. For most men, church is boring and they dread going.

I would never say there is a shortage of these men. I really get tired of hearing that there are no good men out there, or that all the good ones are gay or taken. It's really insulting and hurtful to the good men out there.

Instead of waiting for them to come to you, find where they are and go to them. Sitting and waiting for a good man/woman (yes, this goes for men and women) to be dropped in your lap is silly. You have to actively seek the desires of your heart. If you want a good Christian man, you have to go out and find one and not wait on him to find you.

Coach

 

[welshman]

*coughs*
Could say the same about women

 

[ido]

I don't really feel like there is a shortage of men. It's more that I realize that I have a pretty defined idea of the type of guy I would like to date. Meeting such a guy might prove to be sort of difficult, but I'm willing to wait for a one in a million, rather than settle for a dime a dozen.

 

[Tinkerbell33]

It could be worse, you could be living in England.

 

[CrusaderKing]

Meeting such a guy might prove to be sort of difficult, but I'm willing to wait for a one in a million, rather than settle for a dime a dozen.

Smart. Of course, I think I've told you this before.

Coach raised good points and I have to say I agree with him.

 

[ido]

Smart. Of course, I think I've told you this before.

Coach raised good points and I have to say I agree with him.

Happy new year!

 

[CrusaderKing]

Happy new year!

Same to you!

 

[RobinRedbreast]

Instead of waiting for them to come to you, find where they are and go to them. Sitting and waiting for a good man/woman (yes, this goes for men and women) to be dropped in your lap is silly.

I really have to agree with this. I find a lot of people talking about a shortage of men (be them Christian or not, just a shortage of "Good men" who fit their dating criteria) tend to hold on to the ideal that God is going to literally bring them a man, by sheer coincidence of some kind, with no effort on their own part.

I think people who sit on the side lines and wait for the magic to happen... are going to miss out on said magic.

And I think that Christians especially are afflicted with this particular mindset. I understand the concept of letting God be in control, but I really think it gets taken way too far. We aren't puppets. When God gave us free will, He expected us to take some control of our own.

If you sit on the sidelines, you'll just be watching the game.

 

[Mikeb85]

I was reading an article from ChristianityToday about the shortage of Christian men in the church or the lack thereof. I wonder why there is a shortage of Godly men? is it because the church has been too femininzed or not too many men are interested in being in the church or what?

And at my age, there is a shortage of men and they go to their younger counterparts to date also.

Why there is the shortage of bible believing christian men?

Dunno. At our church there's a shortage of women - men outnumber women at pretty much every service.

I personally believe though that Western Christianity has become too feminized, I think back to the 'hymns' I've heard in Protestant or even Catholic churches - no guy I know would ever sit through that...

 

[Thunder Peel]

I hear a lot of men asking where all of the good Christian women have gone. If only there were some way to get both groups to meet.

 

[Andres88]

I perceive it the other way around in my church.

 

[ido]

I hear a lot of men asking where all of the good Christian women have gone. If only there were some way to get both groups to meet.

This.

 

[hockeysistah12]

Instead of waiting for them to come to you, find where they are and go to them. Sitting and waiting for a good man/woman (yes, this goes for men and women) to be dropped in your lap is silly. You have to actively seek the desires of your heart. If you want a good Christian man, you have to go out and find one and not wait on him to find you.

I have to disagree with that because we as Christian women are not supposed to go out and find a man and not just anyone who say they are a believer.

We are taught to seek the kingdom of God and wait upon him. That word is a forgien language for Christians these days. If people would have not waited, there would not be an abundance of divorces these days among christians.

This is the number one mistake we make because some Christian women are weak in this area.

They take any man and yes, thinking they are Christian, they get decived in the process. It's not because people do not go out, but it is because people do not want to repeat the cycle their mothers and fathers have and this includes those men who are abusers, those who have mental/depression issues (that's a no-no for me) and those who don't plain know to become a husband.

 

[EazyMack]

Yeah, I thought it was the other way around.

 

[welshman]

You can turn this around and say exactly the same for women. You can't just generalise men or women for that matter. There are as many women out there who have as little clue about what it takes to be a good wife as there are men who have no idea how to be a husband.

I have to disagree with that because we as Christian women are not supposed to go out and find a man and not just anyone who say they are a believer.

We are taught to seek the kingdom of God and wait upon him. That word is a forgien language for Christians these days. If people would have not waited, there would not be an abundance of divorces these days among christians.

This is the number one mistake we make because some Christian women are weak in this area.

They take any man and yes, thinking they are Christian, they get decived in the process. It's not because people do not go out, but it is because people do not want to repeat the cycle their mothers and fathers have and this includes those men who are abusers, those who have mental/depression issues (that's a no-no for me) and those who don't plain know to become a husband.

 

[JonMiller]

I would say the same about women. I think that the church gets fooled by the fact that most people are Christian into thinking that Christians don't need Christian socialization at church to meet other Christians (to marry/etc).
JM

 

[JasperJackson]

I don't know why there are more women than men in the church but this might be part of it... A few months ago my church ran a Jesus and Jazz night. It was a great evangelistic event where we brought our non-Christian friends to hear the gospel in a relaxed environment. And as expected there were many more women there than men. The thing is, the place where the event was held was on the main nightclub street in the city. So we could see people outside walking down the street on their way to nightclubs. And they were mostly men. That is one thing I noticed in my pre-Christian days; whenever I went out to pubs and clubs there was a definite shortage of women. So where are all the men? Unfortunately in nightclubs trying to find someone to take home for the night.

 

[ahmunmun]

It does feel like there is a shortage of Christian men in every way. I'm serious. There are times when I've been tempted to go out with a non-Christian because there are very few Christian men already, and not to mention the ones who are single and meet my criterias. Please note that I have not given in to my temptation to date a non-Christian, because while they may meet my other criterias, they will not meet my most important ones and they are as follows: 1) the man must be a Christian, 2) the man must have a solid understanding of Scriptures, 3) the man must be open to spiritual gifts and the way my church operates, etc.

My friend who is a Christian made a big mistake of starting a relationship with a non-Christian. For three years, this guy was compatible with her in all but one way - he didn't understand why she put God above him. This couple eventually got engaged and believe me, it was very hard for her to fix her mistake of starting this relationship. When she liked someone so much, it was hard not to move forward in the relationship, and the deeper she got into the relationship, the harder it was to get out of it. Now, she's suffering from not just a normal break-up but a break-up of engagement. So be warned, people, don't date a non-believer! She always tells people to think of her and her pain whenever someone is tempted.

 

[ido]

I have to disagree with that because we as Christian women are not supposed to go out and find a man and not just anyone who say they are a believer.

We are taught to seek the kingdom of God and wait upon him. That word is a forgien language for Christians these days. If people would have not waited, there would not be an abundance of divorces these days among christians.

This is the number one mistake we make because some Christian women are weak in this area.

They take any man and yes, thinking they are Christian, they get decived in the process. It's not because people do not go out, but it is because people do not want to repeat the cycle their mothers and fathers have and this includes those men who are abusers, those who have mental/depression issues (that's a no-no for me) and those who don't plain know to become a husband.

I agree that we should be seeking God and that, in the process, we will find the right guy. But, this doesn't mean we should sit at home at night with our knitting needles wondering and waiting. We need to get out and live life and be involved in ministry and just life in general if we are ever going to expect to meet someone. God's plans are not so narrow that we can only meet someone at church. My sister met her husband in a bar of all places and he has grown to be one of the most Godly men I know. I'm not suggesting that we should all run out and look for Mr./Ms. Right in a bar or nightclub - I'm just saying that we never know when our paths will cross with that person. But, it sure isn't going to happen if we're limiting ourselves to church for finding a mate.