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wishingtobenearGod

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Hello everyone. I'm new, and I want to ask everyone about something that has really troubled me lately. First, let me tell you that I've had bipolar affective disorder since 1995. I struggle a lot with depression and mania. I cycle very rapidly. I'm not able to take anti-depressants because they induce my mania. I'm unable to take mood stabilizers due to adverse reaction. They exacerbate my symptoms. I've tried almost every one of them, from lithium to Lamictal. So my illness is controlled by the antipsychotic medicine Geodon, but I still get so depressed that I wonder if God hears my prayers or if he has forgotten about me. I pray that he would heal me of this horrible illness that I have. I believe he could if he wanted to, but why doesn't he? I know Jesus healed many people when he was on Earth. I think it is unfair that he doesn't heal me. Why doesn't he? I ask. I know God likes to test people, like he tested Abraham when he told him to sacrifice his son. It's true that gold and silver are purified by fire and that saying about "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." How else can God test our strength except through adversity. I know this, but I still pray that Jesus would heal me, and I'm still left wondering why he doesn't. Why? I've suffered so long. I would really appreciate it if any of you could give me your answer and pray for me.
 
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lemonflavor

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wishingtobenearGod suffering is one of the most difficult issues humans deal with and there are no easy answers. I'm reading a book right now called God on Mute by Pete Grieg which is very good and deals with some of the things in your post. The title isn't as negative as it may sound.

Getting to know God better by reading and studying the Bible has been tremendous for me in addition to reading books about suffering. The Gospel According to Job by Mike Mason is another great book.

I know it's not the best advice to just tell somebody to read a book. I'm going through a rotten time right now and I hate life. But God is becoming more and more of a refuge.
 
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Pats

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Hello everyone. I'm new, and I want to ask everyone about something that has really troubled me lately. First, let me tell you that I've had bipolar affective disorder since 1995. I struggle a lot with depression and mania. I cycle very rapidly. I'm not able to take anti-depressants because they induce my mania. I'm unable to take mood stabilizers due to adverse reaction. They exacerbate my symptoms. I've tried almost every one of them, from lithium to Lamictal. So my illness is controlled by the antipsychotic medicine Geodon, but I still get so depressed that I wonder if God hears my prayers or if he has forgotten about me. I pray that he would heal me of this horrible illness that I have. I believe he could if he wanted to, but why doesn't he? I know Jesus healed many people when he was on Earth. I think it is unfair that he doesn't heal me. Why doesn't he? I ask. I know God likes to test people, like he tested Abraham when he told him to sacrifice his son. It's true that gold and silver are purified by fire and that saying about "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." How else can God test our strength except through adversity. I know this, but I still pray that Jesus would heal me, and I'm still left wondering why he doesn't. Why? I've suffered so long. I would really appreciate it if any of you could give me your answer and pray for me.

Welcome to the forums and to the BP forum here. :wave:

You bring up a lot of good questions. I myself have been suffering a sort of spiritual crisis related to a very abusive ex husband and why those things happened to me and my children. But that's a different issue.

On the issue of healing, did you know that the scriptures say the Apostle Paul suffered a physical affliction, which the Bible doesn't name, that despite his please for healing it remained.

As some one recently told me, it's just part of our having hope in Him.
 
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angelkiss

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Hi :wave: I join in with the others in welcoming you to the forum.

At the moment, it's hard for me to find the words to help find understanding.
If it's meant for me to be healed I know God will do it on His time. As patience is one of the many things I fall short of, I try to keep myself occupied with trying to find the good in things.
I have found that this illness has brought me closer to God, my family, friends.......and it has given me friends I probably wouldn't have had otherwise.
I battle the never-ending roller coaster everyday, and though it seems unbearable sometimes, I know I'll always get through. I'm too stubborn to give in and let it take over as I once did. Therefore, another good thing is: It has made me stronger.
I personally, don't fully understand it all, but I can't understand myself as a person sometimes, let alone have answers to such questions.
I just take one baby step at a time, fight each battle as it hits, conquer whatever comes my way, and stand stronger for the next thing.
Many prayers going up for you.
:hug:s and :angel::kiss:es!!
 
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Laridy

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Dear WishingtobenearGod,

Suffering is a very difficult thing to go through. Understanding why is not something easily understood. One thing I do know is that God does not wish this upon you or leave you alone in this. He wants to hold you tenderly and weep with you as you struggle. When I have something big to work through, or something that never seems to end I try to focus on the sufferings of Jesus that He underwent for me. I know God loved me so much that He allowed His Son to suffer and die for me. It was not an easy or pretty path He took and He could have chosen to find another easier path but our Lord willingly chose this way to share our humanity with us and to reconcile us to God. So when I cry, hurt and wonder why, I picture the Father holding me in His Arms and weeping with me as we watch His Son Take on the Burdens of the world and know that my disease, my history of abuse, my personal failures, my never ending eating d/o and all my sins are part of that. I feel the love of God for me and I draw closer to Him in awe and respect. I began to worship Him because He loves me and cares for me as He loves and cares for YOU WishingtobenearGod. Try to crawl in His arms and allow Him to love you. You may not get answers but you will get comfort and the knowledge that God loves you and is beside you every step of the way even when you feel the lowest and the most doubting and the farthest from Him, He is there wanting to hold you and comfort you if you'll let Him. I'll be praying for you. Sorry I was so long winded.:prayer: Laridy
 
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Dear WishingtobenearGod,

Suffering is a very difficult thing to go through. Understanding why is not something easily understood. One thing I do know is that God does not wish this upon you or leave you alone in this. He wants to hold you tenderly and weep with you as you struggle. When I have something big to work through, or something that never seems to end I try to focus on the sufferings of Jesus that He underwent for me. I know God loved me so much that He allowed His Son to suffer and die for me. It was not an easy or pretty path He took and He could have chosen to find another easier path but our Lord willingly chose this way to share our humanity with us and to reconcile us to God. So when I cry, hurt and wonder why, I picture the Father holding me in His Arms and weeping with me as we watch His Son Take on the Burdens of the world and know that my disease, my history of abuse, my personal failures, my never ending eating d/o and all my sins are part of that. I feel the love of God for me and I draw closer to Him in awe and respect. I began to worship Him because He loves me and cares for me as He loves and cares for YOU WishingtobenearGod. Try to crawl in His arms and allow Him to love you. You may not get answers but you will get comfort and the knowledge that God loves you and is beside you every step of the way even when you feel the lowest and the most doubting and the farthest from Him, He is there wanting to hold you and comfort you if you'll let Him. I'll be praying for you. Sorry I was so long winded.:prayer: Laridy

Reps to you! That was such an insightful answer. Thank you. That has really made me start looking at some things in a better light.
 
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DoubtingThomas29

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Dear Wishing to be near God,

Here I'll take another stab at posting here. I don't think it is healthy to think God s testing you by giving you a biological problem. Look at it this way, there are six point five billion people on the planet, that means there are that many brains, it is impossible for nature, or God to make that many brains and not have somethings wrong with them.

Sometimes the brain doesn't work the way it should, and you need medicine to correct it, to help get the chemistry right and you also need therapy sometimes to help cope.

Good luck,

Thomas
 
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Alive again

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I personally feel that God can make that many people without problems, but due to man's choice to sin death and destruction came to this earth and that each generation more and more errors occur in the basic dna code and more and more fall into illness and other such things. God however has paid the price to redeem us all!
 
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