Why Men Cheat

[Luther073082]

Cheating can occur a while after problems become present in a relationship, it is when these issues are ignored and not communicated in an effective way that it goes downhill. Therefore cheating is a symptom and not a cause of relationship breakdown. I wouldn't necessarily agree with the man who appeared on the Dr Phil daytime show, it is not just one person's fault...it is both, or maybe neither...maybe they just aren't right for each other?

You are right typically its a symptom of greater problems within a marriage.

 

[Im_A]

Cheating is just a choice, like any other. There is no generalizing "why men cheat, why women cheat" because the reasoning (or lack thereof) behind each cheating instance is individual and completely independent of anyone else.

I know this because I have cheated on a partner in the past. And so has my husband. Each of us has done so once in our lifetimes, and never have we done so again.

And the circumstances between why he cheated on a past girl, and why I cheated ona past guy? Are 100% different from each other.

I loathe generalizations There is no reason why "men" cheat! There is only reason why "man" cheats, and to find out, he has to tell you himself.

Agreed.
When I cheated, it was pretty simple. At that specific time, I was interested in someone else and in that moment I thought it would be best to pursue the one in the moment than the one I was in a relationship with. Nothing is justified. She did nothing wrong to me. She was actually a good girl and a good g/f for roughly the month we were together.

There's no trying to stand up for a bad moral choice. I am not justifying anything simply because when I give the reasons to bad choices that does not mean I am justifying anything. People can like or hate the reasons for all I care. The reasons are what they are.

Then my buddy cheated on his wife for years. When I saw their marriage problems, one could say insecurity in his marriage, and the problems she created herself, led him to cheat. Grant it, this does not justify his adultery. He was wrong for the cheating escapades he had no matter his reasons, but it takes a fool to not realize that people's mistakes can influence to continue mistakes being made.

Then when I was cheated on, I can easily theorize why she cheated on me. I was a bad and insecure b/f. I didn't know what I wanted with her and it showed quite blatantly clear. Does that justify her cheating on me? No. Yet when a woman isn't receiving affection and security, she will find it elsewhere. Doesn't mean it is morally right, just means it is a reason.

So great post there. My examples are only showing why I agree so much.

 

[radhead]

If you (Im A) cheated on your girlfriend you were only together for a month with, does that really qualify as "cheating?"

 

[Im_A]

If you (Im A) cheated on your girlfriend you were only together for a month with, does that really qualify as "cheating?"

I qualify it as a cheating simply because:
1. We made out.
2. We considered each other b/f and g/f.

The physical display of affection and the verbal title we called each other showed some type of interest, whether strong or not, but as her b/f, I had responsibilities to succeed and I failed them. For myself, I hold a high standard. When I consider myself someone's b/f that means A LOT for the girl and for me.

Also, when you leave for Cornerstone with a g/f in Ohio, and you meet a girl at the festival, sleep with her(not sex or even physical stuff), kissed each other goodbye and I told her I would be willing for a long distant relationship with her without telling her about the other girl and then come back to being confused about the whole situation, little over 10 years later, I see it as cheating.

 

[Kelli1234567890]

If you want to understand why men cheat, you don't have to watch TV. Men cheat because it is in their nature to spread their seed. They are enraptured by women for 1-2 years. After that, that women becomes boring and he is ready to move on. Some men will stay because they feel they have a duty towards their children. Those men are the real "Christians". And some will stay because they do not want to hurt their wives. These men have a capacity for empathy and compassion.

If you are married to a man that travels, he is not making it a priority to be with his family. He is probably cheating. If he is watching porn, he is definitely cheating. I worked with a women who went to trade shows and she slept with married men without a condom in the hopes she would get pregnant and he would take care of her and her three kids. She mentioned that men want to know what it is like to be married and single. They like the mystery of other women. Most men cheat. That is just a fact. Please don't delude yourself or think you are in the minority because your man is cheating. It isn't because you are not pretty enough, work hard enough or are not a good person. It is his fault. Men that travel tell the women they meet all kinds of things (generally, if they are married to well-to-do women, they say it is all their hard work even though they are using their wives assets to impress other women). You should just be aware. No man is going to save you. You have to do your own work and wake up. Again, no man is going to save you. He will use you and tell you whatever he needs to say (I love kids, I love dogs, I would love to be a father, etc, etc to get what he wants - to sleep with you). Ok, it really is that simple. If you believe a guy is going to give you everything he has, he better marry you or it is an empty promise. Rarely will he give his own money. Generally, it is money his wife has made. Men travel and tell their employers that the client "couldn't meet with them" while they tell their clients "something came up". This enables them to take a break with a gal in a hotel room. The wife never knows. Their reimbursement checks go into a private bank account to pay for the hotel room or they go on a credit card you didn't even know about (run a credit report on your husband to check). Keep your eyes open if you want to know the truth. Trust but verify. Most men cheat. They don't do it very often (except at trade shows and other business social events where they can meet strangers) so it is hard to catch. They run ads in Craigs list to get new supply in the cities they travel too. Some start up affairs with these women and meet with them whenever they travel there. They tell these women they are not happy with their woves and want to leave them to pull them into the affair.
You may also notice them taking out a lot of ATM withdrawals to pay for hotels, meals for these women. Yes, they are using your hard earned money to pay for their affairs. You should know that.
If they drink alcohol or use drugs, they cheat. Sadly, this is the scapegoat used to "justify" their cheating. "I was drunk" and you are supposed to assume they did not know what they were doing. Men and women who want to cheat, get drunk and blame the alcohol or sometimes drugs. "I was under the influence..." It is the oldest game out there. That is why all true Christians do not drink alcohol or use drugs. People matter more than their own selfishness. Responsible people who care about others don't have to use excuses. They do the right thing.
Both men and women should know and be alert for those signs because women cheat too. They use the same excuses. However, both men and women stay married because of the resources that other person provides. Don't play the fool. Be alert to the signs. They are counting on you to forgive because you are a Christian so they think they can keep getting away with it if they are caught. You are being the fool. Watch for the red flags and do not tolerate this behavior. If you do, your kids will think that behavior is ok. They will learn it is ok to treat people that way because after all, daddy did that to mommy and she forgave them or they were under the influence so it is a forgivable sin. No it is not. You are setting them up to be abused. Don't tolerate it. Show your children what self-respect looks like. God is the only one that can forgive and he only forgives when that person stops sinning. You can not change that person - make them stop drinking or make them stop using drugs. They have to hit bottom before "they" make that change. If you try to make it for them, you will sacrifice yourself and your family.

 

[CodyFaith]

You have wasted valuable time posting that rubbish. Even a blind man can see that you're a troll. (Or a complete moron.)

/thread.

I read the first part was like lol then the rest was tldr.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Dead thread is DEAD.

 

[CodyFaith]

Dead thread is DEAD.

I should have responded to the thread "woah is it judgement day already?"

 

[Toro]

 

[Cruse]

No such thing as a dead thread, only those in stasis.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

ON!

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The thread has also run its course, and the OP has long since left the site.
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