Why men are never depressed

[memoriesbymichelle]

I did NOT write this and while I don't agree with some of the statements, there are alot of them that are true. Don't hate me

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People --

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack...

You can be President.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you,

He or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..

You almost never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives

On December 24 in 25 minutes.

 

[Gym]

There are only 3 criteria to be the US president
Native Born in the USA
35 years of age or older
You must live in the US at least 14 of those 35+ years
--No mention of gender EVER in the US consitutution in regards to the US president
I'll dismantle the others later.. but that misconception irks me the most

 

[Verve]

I just found this one...

Women Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?


You get two last names, burn credit with one use the other!

The Closet is all yours, his clothes fit on the Gavinet under the sink.

You can blame hours of shopping on wedding plans and a 60 pound weight
gain on pregnancy, and people believe you!

you CAN get pregnant, and feel life growing inside of you, men only feel gas.

If you flirt correctly service people do stuff for free or cheap.

Your bathrooms have chatting (Men think we are actually there to pee).

You make believe you need another bathroom less icky,
but you actually want to get closer to the mall and bully your man into shopping all day,
claims of lack of hygiene are your tool!

You can make your man do anything if you wear the right dress and say the right phrase.

You can fake a female problem and stay home a few days a month from work,
supervisor don't wanna know the details.

You can get a spray on tan!
If a man does it he is called "gay".

You can stare at every man in the room and your husband won't know.

Your heels can make you appear taller, men need insole lifts!

You may be moody but when you want sex you have a 99.9% of getting it,
chances are someone will oblige! No need to beg, pay, cry.

You always have female friends willing to examine everything your man did lately,
both of you can get to the bottom of the most difficult to explain cases
for free and without a profesional.

You know stuff about color matching and you come prepared every where you go!

You can get men to open jars, do the heavy lifting just by faking weakness.

If it's the middle of the night most people will open the door to a woman than a man,
you are not a menace!

You know how to fix, arrange, clean and organize anything!

The divorce judge always goes in your favor, specially if you cry.

You can blow your husbands entire paycheck and blame it on the hairstylist.

You can be 90 and he still will want you!

You can be slim without being called punny, men can't!

You get a diamond ring when you get married and never are suspected of being serial killers.

You can wear pants yet men can't wear skirts!!!!

 

[Obzocky]

Actually giggling over both of those. Slightly amusing.

 

[kevlite2020]

I approve of both of these lists!

 

[broken_one]

These are quite entertaining.

My only qualm is that if gals had a slight working knowledge of automobiles (like the common man does/should), they wouldn't be "lied to". Mechanics try to get away with as much as they can.

 

[Inkachu]

The first one was cute, the second one was stupid and would seriously tick me off if someone genuinely believed any of that garbage about me lol. (Ohemgee!, I can manipulate the whole WORLD with my boobs! YAY double-X chrom's!)

 

[Amber.ly]

I liked them both.

 

[Rose of Eden]

I enjoyed them both too!

Thanks for sharing!

 

[Hadassah_]

Those were both hilarious.

 

[GQ Chris]

$8.95 for a three pack of underwear is still too expensive. Three pairs of shoes is too much.

 

[Lord Of The Forest]

Your bathrooms have chatting (Men think we are actually there to pee).

This is totally right.

 

[twnsrkr]

Haha, lol.

 

[Brooklyn Knight]

The world is your urinal.

I would say the toilet is our throne.

 

[Bitnd12]

A funny (and kinda true) video about women, as long as we're poking fun at each other. Be warned, the "s word" appears in text in the title and at the tail end of the video. No foul language in the video, though.

"Did I lock the door?" is totally me.

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] Girls Say - Episode 1 - YouTube

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

There are only 3 criteria to be the US president
Native Born in the USA
35 years of age or older
You must live in the US at least 14 of those 35+ years
--No mention of gender EVER in the US consitutution in regards to the US president
I'll dismantle the others later.. but that misconception irks me the most

You're absolutely right and as I stated I did not make the list and didn't agree with all of it but some of it IS funny IMO. Dismantle if you wish, I wish you would just take it with the good humor it was intended and not so seriously. None of these things (or anything for that matter) is true for everyone

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

$8.95 for a three pack of underwear is still too expensive. Three pairs of shoes is too much.

You crack me up GQ. Three pair of underwear is almost too much too, right? I mean if you use both sides, they're good for at least 2 days

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

A funny (and kinda true) video about women, as long as we're poking fun at each other. Be warned, the "s word" appears in text in the title and at the tail end of the video. No foul language in the video, though.

"Did I lock the door?" is totally me.

[bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] Girls Say - Episode 1 - YouTube

That was funny! Thanks for sharing.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I would say the toilet is our throne.

I've heard it called the porcelain goddess

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I just found this one...

Women Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures?


You get two last names, burn credit with one use the other!

The Closet is all yours, his clothes fit on the Gavinet under the sink.

You can blame hours of shopping on wedding plans and a 60 pound weight
gain on pregnancy, and people believe you!

you CAN get pregnant, and feel life growing inside of you, men only feel gas.

If you flirt correctly service people do stuff for free or cheap.

Your bathrooms have chatting (Men think we are actually there to pee).

You make believe you need another bathroom less icky,
but you actually want to get closer to the mall and bully your man into shopping all day,
claims of lack of hygiene are your tool!

You can make your man do anything if you wear the right dress and say the right phrase.

You can fake a female problem and stay home a few days a month from work,
supervisor don't wanna know the details.

You can get a spray on tan!
If a man does it he is called "gay".

You can stare at every man in the room and your husband won't know.

Your heels can make you appear taller, men need insole lifts!

You may be moody but when you want sex you have a 99.9% of getting it,
chances are someone will oblige! No need to beg, pay, cry.

You always have female friends willing to examine everything your man did lately,
both of you can get to the bottom of the most difficult to explain cases
for free and without a profesional.

You know stuff about color matching and you come prepared every where you go!

You can get men to open jars, do the heavy lifting just by faking weakness.

If it's the middle of the night most people will open the door to a woman than a man,
you are not a menace!

You know how to fix, arrange, clean and organize anything!

The divorce judge always goes in your favor, specially if you cry.

You can blow your husbands entire paycheck and blame it on the hairstylist.

You can be 90 and he still will want you!

You can be slim without being called punny, men can't!

You get a diamond ring when you get married and never are suspected of being serial killers.

You can wear pants yet men can't wear skirts!!!!

Yep lol for every this there is a that (was gonna type something else but then it would probably get censored and it didn't sound good but you try it at home OK? ) Good points but I like the men one better and on your last line some men do wear skirts lol Their called kilts Still funny though thanks for posting that!