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Why isnt isnt it ok to sin?

Ken-1122

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Basically what I believe marriage is that two people make a covenant before God to live together in Holy Matrimony through bad times and good times.

Does it have to be your God? Or could it be a God you are convinced does not exist.

Ken
 
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Paradoxum

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I'll remind you again we're not discussing the morality of the situation. We're discussing the harm. You asked why it would cause harm. I said the emotion of it is being manipulated. You asked why I considered it manipulation. I answered that it is manipulation because it involves suppressing the natural purposes connected to sex. As such, I haven't changed the argument. Rather it seems you're losing track of the chain of questions you've asked.

I'm concerned about morality. If harm isn't immoral, why does it matter?

Why is suppressing the natural 'purposes' of sex bad? Or necessarily harmful?

Now it's your turn. You say sex serves purposes other than procreation and the bonding of caregivers. What would those other purposes be?

I said sex could have purposes other than procreation. Intimacy (unrelated to children) could be one. Enjoyment could be another, but I'm less sure about that one.

By the way, I don't think nature has objective purposes. It's just an anthropomorphic way of talking about it. So really, there is no purpose for sex. There are just causes that lead to it existing as it does.
 
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Ken-1122

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I'll remind you again we're not discussing the morality of the situation. We're discussing the harm. You asked why it would cause harm. I said the emotion of it is being manipulated. You asked why I considered it manipulation. I answered that it is manipulation because it involves suppressing the natural purposes connected to sex.

If you see unmarried sex as manipulation, if you see unmarried sex as suppressing the natural purposes connected to sex (whatever that means) that’s fine. But you shouldn’t assume everybody’s views on sex is the same as your view on sex, and you shouldn’t make false statements about sex because you assume everybody’s views are.
Now it's your turn. You say sex serves purposes other than procreation and the bonding of caregivers. What would those other purposes be?
Sex feels good. Sex relieves a natural urge. Some people have sex because they enjoy having sex. And when these people engage in consensual sex, it would be foolish to claim they are being manipulated, or harmed.


Ken
 
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Resha Caner

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I'm concerned about morality. If harm isn't immoral, why does it matter?

Because it hurts.

Why is suppressing the natural 'purposes' of sex bad? Or necessarily harmful?

Opposing any force (physical, emotional, or otherwise) has the potential to hurt. As I said earlier, it's a matter of balancing the risks of harm, which is not an individual decision unless you can manage to live without a connection to anyone else.

I said sex could have purposes other than procreation. Intimacy (unrelated to children) could be one. Enjoyment could be another, but I'm less sure about that one.

By the way, I don't think nature has objective purposes. It's just an anthropomorphic way of talking about it. So really, there is no purpose for sex. There are just causes that lead to it existing as it does.

Of course we disagree on whether things have a created purpose, but for this discussion I'm OK with saying its just an anthropomorphic description. I still say there is a sense in which sex has a purpose. In your parlance it exists because procreation, protection of offspring, and cooperation among the caregivers provides a selective advantage.

You can speculate all you want that it can exist for pleasure alone apart from those purposes, but as I said, I'm not aware of an asexual species that has "evolved" sexual behavior.
 
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Resha Caner

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If you see unmarried sex as manipulation, if you see unmarried sex as suppressing the natural purposes connected to sex (whatever that means) that’s fine. But you shouldn’t assume everybody’s views on sex is the same as your view on sex, and you shouldn’t make false statements about sex because you assume everybody’s views are.

Sex feels good. Sex relieves a natural urge. Some people have sex because they enjoy having sex. And when these people engage in consensual sex, it would be foolish to claim they are being manipulated, or harmed.

If you're not going to answer my questions (post #155), this is going to become a one-sided conversation.

[#1]If a person says;
"I believe what you are doing is wrong because the bible says it is wrong, and I believe what the bible says"
That is perfectly fine! I can respect that because he is expressing his opinion and keeping it in the context of what the Bible says.

[#2]If on the other hand, the person says;
By definition; what you are doing is wrong! And he doesn't keep this opinion in the context of his religious beliefs, or how his religion defines things; then he will be asked to back it up.

The reason I was asking those questions is because there seems to be a misunderstanding here. I basically fall under scenario #1 above, and I was trying to figure out why you think I am saying something else.

So, first of all, I never said premarital sex is, by definition, wrong. I said sin was, by definition, harmful (and that is why the prohibition is put in place - see note). The first is a moral statement, and the second is a physical statement. I've tried to make this distinction several times, and I can point out the posts where I did so if you don't believe me.

Note: The logical argument against what I said would be that you are not aware of premarital sex causing harm. As such, you don't think it should be prohibited, which means you don't think it should be listed as a sin. Since I disagree, I thought you were asking me to demonstrate apart from the Bible that it causes harm. You can ask that question, but don't then accuse me of not backing up what I said or departing from my religious position. It would be you who is asking me to depart from that position.

Second, when you asked why I thought that, I replied my primary reason is the Bible. I can point you to that post as well.

Third, from the very beginning I have been saying that even though I think premarital sex is sinful, harmful, (and yes, I also think it is immoral), I don't try to enforce that belief on anyone unless they are trying to force an obligation on me (for healthcare, protection, etc.). Again, I can point you to those posts if you wish.

Lutherans subscribe to what is called a "two kingdoms" theology. It's not quite right to say it this way, but it basically means only people within the church are subject to church morality. The only reason the church responds to unbelievers is for "defense" so to speak. If unbelievers physically assault church members, lay a financial obligation on them to pay for abortions, etc. then we have a right to respond. But we realize unbelievers have different moral standards.

With that said, when we engage unbelievers we may say what our morals are (as I have), but in our opinion that is of little gain. Unless an unbeliever becomes a believer, it doesn't really matter. The purpose of the Church toward unbelievers is to preach the Gospel: Jesus is the Christ.
 
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Jess90

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Does it have to be your God? Or could it be a God you are convinced does not exist.

Ken
Of course it has to be the God I believe in. That would defeat the entire purpose of believing what I believe and who I believe in if I believed in other Gods.
 
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Ken-1122

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So, first of all, I never said premarital sex is, by definition, wrong.
I never said you did

I said sin was, by definition, harmful

And that’s what I have a problem with. If you are going to say that, you need to explain why it is harmful
Note: The logical argument against what I said would be that you are not aware of premarital sex causing harm. As such, you don't think it should be prohibited, which means you don't think it should be listed as a sin.

I have no problem with it labeled as a sin, just don’t call it harmful.
Since I disagree, I thought you were asking me to demonstrate apart from the Bible that it causes harm. You can ask that question, but don't then accuse me of not backing up what I said or departing from my religious position.

I have no problem with it labeled as a sin, just don’t call it harmful.

Second, when you asked why I thought that, I replied my primary reason is the Bible. I can point you to that post as well.
If you want to point to the bible, that’s fine. But if you are going to say BY DEFINITION this is harmful; you’re wrong because the bible is not used to define what is harmful to society.

Ken
 
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Ken-1122

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Of course it has to be the God I believe in. That would defeat the entire purpose of believing what I believe and who I believe in if I believed in other Gods.

So according to you, only Christians should be allowed to, have sex, and procreate, since they are the only ones capable of marriage. Is this correct?

Ken
 
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Jess90

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What are you talking about? Anyone can have sex within the rights of marriage. All I am saying is it is emotionally harmful to people who engage in sexual activity outside of marriage as it is a sin. I have seen it emotionally destroy relationships with my own friends.
 
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Resha Caner

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I have no problem with it labeled as a sin, just don’t call it harmful.

Why? So you can dismiss it as an arbitrary rule?

If you want to point to the bible, that’s fine. But if you are going to say BY DEFINITION this is harmful; you’re wrong because the bible is not used to define what is harmful to society.

So now you're ignoring both my questions and my responses? Random, unfounded comments are not a discussion. I'm going to ask you to summarize what I said before we proceed so I know you actually read it.
 
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Ken-1122

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What are you talking about? Anyone can have sex within the rights of marriage. All I am saying is it is emotionally harmful to people who engage in sexual activity outside of marriage as it is a sin. I have seen it emotionally destroy relationships with my own friends.

Didn't you say (paraphrasing) a covenant is required with your God and nobody else's before a relationship can be called marriage? Didn't you also say sex outside of marriage is harmful? It seems to me you are saying only christians who worship your God should have sex since they are the only ones capable of marriage. We could also take it a little further and include those christians who do not have direct contact with God and are incapable of establishing a convent with him. If I am misunderstanding you tell me where am I going wrong here?

Ken
 
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Ken-1122

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Why? So you can dismiss it as an arbitrary rule?

I consider sin a religious term defined by religions. I define harm a secular term defined by secular laws,


So now you're ignoring both my questions and my responses? Random, unfounded comments are not a discussion. I'm going to ask you to summarize what I said before we proceed so I know you actually read it.
Perhaps you can repeat your question; I didn't know I missed it

Ken
 
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Resha Caner

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Perhaps you can repeat your question; I didn't know I missed it

As I've mentioned before, it came in post #155. Seeing as how the nature of the conversation has changed, I'm not sure it's relevant anymore.

I consider sin a religious term defined by religions. I define harm a secular term defined by secular laws,

Hmm. Religions have no concept of harm? I don't see how harm is only a secular concept. Are you saying only secular institutions are concerned with people's welfare and religious institutions aren't? Are you saying secular law is the only way to address harm?

If religions make lists of sins, why do they do so if they have no concern for people?
 
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pittsflyer

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No, it all boils down to the state marriage licnece in order to expose men to family law courts. That is it, that is all. Feminists use religion as a form of potential exploitation because they know churches will endorse marriage licences filed with the state so it puts tons of social pressure on a man who is with a woman.

It takes a VERY strong woman to not join in and pressure her man into such a contract. A smart man will allow the relationship to disolve under such conditions.

Didn't you say (paraphrasing) a covenant is required with your God and nobody else's before a relationship can be called marriage? Didn't you also say sex outside of marriage is harmful? It seems to me you are saying only christians who worship your God should have sex since they are the only ones capable of marriage. We could also take it a little further and include those christians who do not have direct contact with God and are incapable of establishing a convent with him. If I am misunderstanding you tell me where am I going wrong here?

Ken
 
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pittsflyer

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Churches and special interest groups (ie feminists) are effectivly adding to the bible because it serves their purpose to bring men under control of the state and church and thus they are no longer free. Just because they want to have relations with a woman. If you pick your woman JUST right BECAUSE you have alot of options then you will probably be ok but she is still in control especially if you have kids. Just becasue a woman does not excersize her power does not mean she does not have it in the family law courts.

As I've mentioned before, it came in post #155. Seeing as how the nature of the conversation has changed, I'm not sure it's relevant anymore.



Hmm. Religions have no concept of harm? I don't see how harm is only a secular concept. Are you saying only secular institutions are concerned with people's welfare and religious institutions aren't? Are you saying secular law is the only way to address harm?

If religions make lists of sins, why do they do so if they have no concern for people?
 
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Paradoxum

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Because it hurts.

If they consent, why does it matter?

Also, if we aren't talking about morality, why does someone else's pain matter to me? I have empathy, but you can't argue I should act on it without morality.

Opposing any force (physical, emotional, or otherwise) has the potential to hurt.

Lets say you have sex, but naturally develop no strong emotion of attachment. In that case no 'force' has been opposed. The lack of emotion is just as natural as emotion. There's no forced opposition required.

Lets say you have sex, develop an emotional attachment, and feel bad when the 'relationship' ends. I agree that might hurt (very slightly or alot). But if you ever lose a friendship, or move away so you rarely see a friend, that hurts too.

Are friendships bad because they might end and cause pain?

As I said earlier, it's a matter of balancing the risks of harm, which is not an individual decision unless you can manage to live without a connection to anyone else.

Lets say someone feels bad about losing a sexual relationship. How does this significantly harm anyone else?

By the way, I don't think a minor negative to others matters.

Of course we disagree on whether things have a created purpose, but for this discussion I'm OK with saying its just an anthropomorphic description. I still say there is a sense in which sex has a purpose. In your parlance it exists because procreation, protection of offspring, and cooperation among the caregivers provides a selective advantage.

If a cup falls off a table, would you say there was purpose in that? The purpose is to make things fall to earth? There's no purpose, just cause and effect.

Also, human sex wasn't created to make babies; it developed because it created babies. By this I mean, it's backwards looking. It's about the cause, not the future (and purpose is about the future).

To put it another way... species don't evolve to survive, species survive and this results in evolution. Attributes don't evolve to do a job; attribute are kept because they are passed on.

You can speculate all you want that it can exist for pleasure alone apart from those purposes, but as I said, I'm not aware of an asexual species that has "evolved" sexual behavior.

Though homosexual animals aren't completely rare. That's not the same I know, I'm just saying.
 
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