Why is....

[dluvs2trvl]

D - I don't think that you're naive. But, I do think that if we are continuously meeting the wrong people, it has something to do with the choices we make in the people we are attracted to on some level. I don't think that's it 100%, but I think if we can figure out a common denomenator amongst the people we choose for mates, then we can begin to understand what changes we might need to make in why we choose who we choose.

Does that make sense?

I do understand what you are saying and I agree...but I also think that there has been a shift in society with this whole on line dating thing. I think it makes it to much like shopping through a catalog. If this "one" doesn't fit just right there's always more and I'll just go shopping again. Instead of actually investing time in someone and getting to know them flaws and all I think that people move on to quickly to the next best thing...

You know what I mean???

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I do understand what you are saying and I agree...but I also think that there has been a shift in society with this whole on line dating thing. I think it makes it to much like shopping through a catalog. If this "one" doesn't fit just right there's always more and I'll just go shopping again. Instead of actually investing time in someone and getting to know them flaws and all I think that people move on to quickly to the next best thing...

You know what I mean???

That's true, but isn't it better to find that out about somebody initially instead of deep into the relationship. You don't want someone that will eventually move on to the next best thing when it comes along, so people that are like that....let em be, they're the ones that will end up lonely later in life when they can't find Ms. Perfect.

 

[ido]

D - I think people that are that way are pretty easy to spot from the get-go. I think it's our brains that convince us to give them a chance anyway. That's what I'm talking about with the re-training the brain thing. People like that don't deserve a chance, IMO and I'm learning to stop giving them the chance.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

That's true, but isn't it better to find that out about somebody initially instead of deep into the relationship. You don't want someone that will eventually move on to the next best thing when it comes along, so people that are like that....let em be, they're the ones that will end up lonely later in life when they can't find Ms. Perfect.

D - I think people that are that way are pretty easy to spot from the get-go. I think it's our brains that convince us to give them a chance anyway. That's what I'm talking about with the re-training the brain thing. People like that don't deserve a chance, IMO and I'm learning to stop giving them the chance.

Yeah! I get what you're both saying...it makes sense - but it's still frustrating!

 

[FlatpickingJD]

I do understand what you are saying and I agree...but I also think that there has been a shift in society with this whole on line dating thing. I think it makes it to much like shopping through a catalog. If this "one" doesn't fit just right there's always more and I'll just go shopping again. Instead of actually investing time in someone and getting to know them flaws and all I think that people move on to quickly to the next best thing...

You know what I mean???

That's one reason, among many, I stopped doing the on-line dating thing. I found far too many who saw what I put down for education and took that to mean I made a lot of money. When they found out I don't, or that I take things that are interesting, rather than will pay me well, they ran off. What I'm trying to say is that one of their main considerations is money, rather than trying to get to know why I'm motivated (or not) to do the things I do.

That's true, but isn't it better to find that out about somebody initially instead of deep into the relationship. You don't want someone that will eventually move on to the next best thing when it comes along, so people that are like that....let em be, they're the ones that will end up lonely later in life when they can't find Ms. Perfect.

Excellent answer.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

That's one reason, among many, I stopped doing the on-line dating thing. I found far too many who saw what I put down for education and took that to mean I made a lot of money. When they found out I don't, or that I take things that are interesting, rather than will pay me well, they ran off. What I'm trying to say is that one of their main considerations is money, rather than trying to get to know why I'm motivated (or not) to do the things I do.

Yep! I tried it once and I won't do it again...but I've even found it to be true of meeting people through CF. Not you JD but others...it's like you say one wrong thing or have to strong of an opinion about something and they write you off and move on to the next woman on here...

anyways...sorry just a little frustrated by it all...

 

[ChooseTheRight]

trying to figure out the opposite sex so difficult?!

Ive given up trying to work women out. I tried to choose women who i felt would make good wives. I didnt think about love or friendship or even sex. I went about it as though i was getting a washing machine.

Now however ive realised that my ideal woman isnt some fresh out of the box, ready to go, just add batteries kind of girl. I want a girl that i can laugh, flirt and talk too. I want a girl who will put up with my silliness, who will accept me for who i am, warts and all. If she drives me crazy in the bedroom, even better. I hope she wants the same from me.

I dont want to figure her out. I want everyday to be an adventure. Learn something new about her everyday. I want my wife to be my best friend. Am i nuts? Yes, i probably am. As they say. I may live in my own little world, but they like me here.

I would think by 40, I would have some kind of clue!

If i had a clue about just one thing in life, i would call that a success.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

Yep! I tried it once and I won't do it again...but I've even found it to be true of meeting people through CF. Not you JD but others...it's like you say one wrong thing or have to strong of an opinion about something and they write you off and move on to the next woman on here...

anyways...sorry just a little frustrated by it all...

It's their loss and your better off for losing them anyway, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

I dont want to figure her out. I want everyday to be an adventure. Learn something new about her everyday. I want my wife to be my best friend. Am i nuts? Yes, i probably am. As they say. I may live in my own little world, but they like me here.

I know exactly what you mean because I want my husband to be my best friend. I want life to be an adventure that we take together and I want to accept him flaws and all and for him to accept me flaws and all...

Hmmm...any room in that little world of yours

It's their loss and your better off for losing them anyway, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

Thanks Michelle - I know you're right!

 

[ChooseTheRight]

I know exactly what you mean because I want my husband to be my best friend. I want life to be an adventure that we take together and I want to accept him flaws and all and for him to accept me flaws and all...

Hmmm...any room in that little world of yours

For you? I would make room.

 

[dluvs2trvl]

For you? I would make room.

Thanks

 

[ChooseTheRight]

Thanks

Anything for you.